Mike "traP" Bourdaa

CNN of STF - 26 June 1997

And now, SNN Presents: An exclusive interview with Chancellor Galron, leader of the Klingon Empire.

Q: Welcome, Chancellor Galron.
A: [grunts] I can't move, you tied the ropes too tight!
Q: Well of course, we wouldn't want you leaving, now, would we?
A: You have no honor!
Q: Chancellor Galron, what is your opinion on fish?
A: You are a . . . fish?! Did you say fish?!
Q: Of course not. Why would I ask you about fish?
A: I know you asked about fish! What kind of lunitic are you?
Q: Not a very well paid one. Now please, your opinion on the epidemic striking the Klingon Empire: Namely, the illiteracy among rodents.
A: What kind of question is that?!
Q: I see, you are evading the question. Typical political manoeuver. Ok now. You have 5 minutes.

[2 minutes pass] A: 5 minutes to do what?!
Q: I'm sorry, you lost.
A: Lost WHAT?!
Q: Why, your teddy bear, of course.
A: How could you steal my teddy bear?! That's . . . hey, wait, I don't HAVE a teddy bear! You slimy spineless . . .
Q: Please, Chancellor, flattery will get you nowhere.
A: I will kill you with my bare hands.
Q: Well, Klingon entertainment being what it is. Now, what do you plan to do about the rising cost of higher education?
A: What?!
Q: Well, you are a Chancellor. That is a title for the chief administrator of a university. Where is Klingon University exactly, anyway?
A: I take back what I said earlier. You are not spineless. Merely stupid.
Q: Please, please, it won't do for all these compliments.
A: [gnawing at ropes]
Q: Now, is it true that you plan to guarantee a 15% Capital Gains tax cut for all pirates who steal only from the Ferengi or their pets?
A: I am free! Now, to kill you!
***************** We apologize, but the transcript ends at this point. We at SNN have no idea why. But in a related story, Galron has asked for permission to destroy SNN Headquarters. The UFP Council is evenly devided as we speak.

Tune in next week, when our ace reporter will interview Oolon Coluphid . . . and ask how he got such a wierd name.

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