Early this morning, a weary Greg "How do I spell relief?" Hertzsch dragged himself to the podium and gave the speech. The dreaded comment came: "STF on Prodigy has been nearly dead as of late." Indeed it has, but Hertzsch has high hopes that it will be restored. While this action seems frivolous, as though the STF President was inhaling paint thinner, he does say that he will reinstate new RPG's for the ships; the Victorious' ". . . is over two years old now."

As the fate of STF on Prodigy becomes cloudy, like so much split-pea soup, Hertzsch assures a grateful STF that things are not as bad as they seem, and he promises a new plan: "New recruits will join STF when they observe a happy and active club." Just when the club will become active and happy again remains to be seen.

According to Hertzsch, STFers Mike "Accht!" Ballway and Larry "James A." Garfield have begun the drafting of Articles of Organization. There is more talk of how STF is going to be, but this State of STF address seems more like an assurance -- "Yes! Everything's fine! Just fine!" but just how fine things are remain to be seen. SNN Headline News will have the results of a round-table discussion with "Mr. Politics" Bob Uecker, the bloodied, decaying corpse of Bob Costas, and ABC reporter Barbara Walters.

There are evil days ahead for STF. But you can help make them better by subscribing to SNN Headline News! A year-long subscription is only 248 Space-Bucks!

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