Read Fleet Beat

SNN Juke Box

4 October 1999

Read Fleet Beat
by Larry Garfield

To the tune of "Be Prepared" from "The Lion King"

With Sincerest Apologies to Elton John and Tim Rice

Mike Ballway (spoken):

I never thought the missions essential
I never liked siming at all
But maybe a new paper has potential
I'd better go give Larry a call

Larry Garfield:

You may recall a column from WeBBsights
That ended when we opened Sixth Fleet
But now if you believe our headlines
There's now a paper called Fleet Beat

It's clear from your long and strange missions
Your GMs know not what they post
But we're going to make a big difference
I tell you this is not just a boast

So prepare for a new-kind WeBB-paper
Be prepared for sensational news
A crazy new paper
Is now on the server

Ballway: But you brought in Seamus

And now he works for us

I know it sounds pointless
But you'll like it unless
You like to read Mark's Headline News
Want to know what goes on in your Fleet?
Read Fleet Beat!

[Instrumental]

Ensign Chorus:

It's great that we'll soon have a paper
That reports what we do on the ships

Of course, as you will find out later
We rely on you for our tips
Our paper may have some surprises
But on you we depend the most
The point that I must emphasize is
We cannot report without posts!

So go read up on what has been happening

Ensign Chorus:

(Oooh!)

On ships other than those where you serve

Ensign Chorus:

(Oooh... La! La! La!)

Obsessive reporting

Ensign Chorus:

(We'll have news!)

Will keep you all chortling

Ensign Chorus:

(Lots of news)

All this heavy reading

Ensign Chorus:

(Say again)

Will keep us all heaving

Ensign Chorus:

(It's a 10)

Point your browser to it

Ensign Chorus:

(Aaaaaaah...)

Go read it, peruse it

Ensign Chorus:

(...aaaaaaah...)

And read it when you first login

Ensign Chorus:

(...aaaaaaah!)

Now you'll know what goes on in your Fleet

Ensign Chorus:

(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)

Read Fleet Beat!

Ensign Chorus:

Now we'll know what goes on in our Fleet -
Read Fleet Beat!