Jeff "Merry Christmas" Field

CNN of STF - 25 December 1997

=/\= JMNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= Stardate 97122.5 =/\=
JMNN, Jeff's Modified-News Network

NOTE: THIS IS HEAVILY BIASED TOWARDS ME AN MY DARK REIGN OF POWER.

=/\= THE NEWS

  • The "Leader Guy" of the cult known as SNN was killed today when an angry mob of Nameless Ensigns lynched him, chanting, "Field didn't tell us to do this." Commodore Field is not being investigated, since they seemed very sincere.
  • Today, a pig walked into President "MegaHertzsch" Hertzsch and exploded, killing 5 Nameless Ensigns, and a weasel.
  • Sources tell us that a Religion called "Fieldism" has been popping up, and with it several promotions to those in fleet 4 that follow it. We, the staff of JMNN, support this movement and think everyone should do it.

  • After that, the universe reverted back into a dense ball of matter, so we have nothing else to report

    JMNN #1

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