Kent's Corner Issn. 1

17 November 1996

Starfleet News Network----------------------Stardate 96111.7
                                                            
          "Temporal Investigations v. Cap'n Baldy"          
                                                            
Beedle-Beep!                                                
P "Come."                                                   
A "Captain Picard?"                                         
P "Yes?"                                                    
B "We're from Temporal Investigations."                     
P "Oh, yes!  Please, sit down.  Would you like some tea?"   
A "No thank you..."                                         
B "...We don't like tea."                                   
P "Well, then, what can I do for you?"                      
A "We understand you made an unauthorized trip to Earth."   
B "Nineteenth-century Earth."                               
P "That is correct."                                        
A "Could you describe circumstances of your visit?"         
P "One of my crewmen's heads was found in San Fransisco."   
B "And where was his body found?"                           
P "It was Data."                                            
A "A detachable head..."                                    
B "...and information for a body?"                          
P "No, it was Data, our android Operations Manager."        
A "Oh.  We thought you were kidding."                       
B "We hate kidding."                                        
P "No kidding here.  Data's head was found in an excavation 
  under San Fransisco, and we traced it back to this alien  
  cave, where we found these parisitic beings who were      
  sucking out the life-energy of 19th-century San           
  Fransiscans..."                                           
A "Aliens?  In 19th-C San Fransisco?"                       
P "That's what I said."                                     
B "You didn't barge in to S.F. wearing Starfleet uniforms,  
  did you?"                                                 
P "Of course not!"                                          
A "'Of course not?'"                                        
P "Well, I'm not totally ignorant of the dangers of         
  polluting the timestream."                                
B "Only partially."                                         
P "Strike that comment from the record."                    
A "Done.  Did you meet anybody of any consequence in the    
  nineteenth-century?"                                      
P "Samuel Clemens."                                         
B "The author?"                                             
A "As in, Mark Twain?"                                      
P "Yes.  You know of him?"                                  
A "He's my favorite Terran writer."                         
B "Mine also."                                              
P "He helped save our lives."                               
A "I can see the timestream muddied already..."             
B "...Let it pass.  Picard has done worse things in his     
  timeshifting career than talking with dead authors."      
A "Right.  So, did you meet anyone else?"                   
P "Well... We met Guinan."                                  
A "Guinan?"                                                 
P "Yes, Guinan."                                            
B "Who is Guinan?"                                          
P "Well, that's gonna take some time to explain..."         
                                                            
                                                            
                                                            
Fleet Cpt                                                   
Adam Kent                                                   
Starfleet News Network