the starfleet news network | freelance article archive | mike ballway no. 1
10 August 1994 -- Mike Ballway
OC Update with Mike Ballway. . . .

OKay, here's what's happening . . . I'm gonna dedicate the rest of this page to what's happening in the OC . . .






No, seriously: They are debating what to do about the fleets, and the possibilities of reincarnating the USS Snapple into a real ship (for those of you who don't know what the Snapple was, it was a ship for Command people so they could relive the joys of starship command and service).

AAACK! I'm allotted 6 pages to talk about the OC, but I've only used up 2 . . . so in this space I'm gonna interview someone.

Mike's Interview

"AN INTERVIEW WITH A NAMELESS ENSIGN"
MB: Okay, what's your name?
NE: Grrr.
MB: Oops! Forgot! You don't have a name! You're a NAMELESS Ensign!
NE: Yeah.
MB: So, what department do you work in?
NE: [mumble]
MB: Eh?
NE: Way[mumble]psl
MB: Didn't hear ya!
NE: Waste Disposal!
MB: [Laughing] On what ship?
NE: [mumble]
MB: Ay?
NE: The USS Central Los Angeles.
MB: That's not a starship, is it?
NE: No.
MB: It's a freighter, isn't it?
NE: yes.
MB: So, you work as a garbage man on a space truck! You must have a pretty low self-image!
NE: Yeah.
MB: You must feel pretty stupid at lunch when the Captain comes up to you and spills some ketchup on you and DOESN'T EVEN SAY SORRY!
NE: Yeah . . .
MB: In fact, I bet you're the butt of everyone's jokes!
NE: Yeah . . .
MB: Ha!
NE: Ha what?
MB: Ha! You are pretty stupid, just sitting down there in a garbage room, while I sit up here in the SNN tower interviewing people! I'll bet this is a change of pace!
NE: You shut up . . .
MB: No! I'm a Captain and I can order you around! Hey, Ensign! Pick up that peice of paper!
NE: But there is no paper . . .
MB: Yes there is! Pick it up!
NE: No, there isn't . . .
MB: HAHAHA! Pick it up or I'll throw you in the brig!
NE: [strangles Mike] Idiot.
MB: Auuugh.
--Mike
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