the starfleet news network | freelance article archive | genesun han
20 August 1992
Genesun "Larimda ME" Han
SNN
Sibling War Breaks Out, 10 Dead, 15 Wounded
Adding to the current disarray in STF, loyal followers of Cathy Weatherby have declared war upon the fanatic followers of Julia Weatherby. While current peace efforts are underway, early reports are coming in that the followers of Cathy (known as Cathites) have shelled the
followers of Julia (known as Juliettes) in the Juliette town of Minehania. A key point in the ongoing dispute is the "tastes great, less filling" argument. Experts believe failure to compromise was a key point in starting the hostilities.
Julie Larsen and the "Axe Wielding Coke Maniacs" have announced a tour of duty inside the Weatherby Mountains, reportedly to "solve the Tastes Great, Less Filling debate by imposing Coke on all the natives."
In related news, SB93 has announced that they are beginning the Ponderball Olympics. When asked why such a competition was being held, Grace "Blue Jello" Larsen sat down and thought about it for three hours, and is still reportedly pondering.
S'Kylor ran into trouble with the authorities when she was found placing subliminal messages in STF. She was given a suspended sentence and a suspended fine, and was released today.
The newest addition to STF, 7-11, has moved in. While Blue Jello sales are continuing to be brisk, the 7-11 has announced that sales of doughnut filled jelly have not yet picked up.
Kate McCarthy spent another full day apologizing to various people because of "mistakes in knowing current STF policy." When pressed for a real answer, Kate merely replied, "I really don't know why I did that. Just after I talked with S'Kylor (the Great), I had an urge to apologize"
Finally, for the first time in two months, there are two SB93 subjects. Panic, once again, filled the streets.
Larimda ME, Editor In Chief
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Thanks go out to Becca Juarez and Julie Larsen, who preserved this article (which was written long before I [Mike Ballway] joined STF).
Page Created on 28 November 1997 -- Last Updated on 25 June 1998
Text © 1992 Genesun Han
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