the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 9
Monday, 28 August 1995 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= STARDATE 95082.8 =/\=
Allright, welcome back . . . yeah, it's been a long time. For those of you who remember, yes, SNN UPDATE is back! For those of you who joined Prodigy within the last 29 thousand years, SNN UPDATE was once STF's unofficial online newsletter. SNN UPDATE, of course, broadcasts on the Starfleet News Network, aka CNN of STF. On some terrific days, Mike Cathcart will write an SNN article. But here's SNN UPDATE. But first, a song -- the new SNN UPDATE theme song. To the tune of "Animaniacs"
It's time for Starfleet News Network
Where we're all fans of Jim Kirk
So just stop all of your work
(but wipe off that awful smirk)
We're Starfleet News Network
So come join your anchor Michael, and his correspondent Pete
They're two guys whom we surmise that you would like to meet
We write up the UPDATE, an impressive little feat
But no one reads any of these
And so I must repeat
We're Starfleet News Network
Mike is nice and Pete's no jerk
Near the newsroom we do lurk
Our duties we will shirk
We're Starfleet News Network!
We report on Michael Cathcart
And the STF Command
And Siskoism Forces
and the McParty's Jazz Band
OT Subjects! Millions!
(Mikki T's, of course, is banned)
What Velos said, the Connie's Head
We're getting out of hand!
We're Starfleet News Network
I don't know if this will work . . .
They will ship us to Dunkirk
If we don't do any work
We're Starfleet Newsy, Just a wee bit woozy
Starfleet News Network!
=/\= SOME ACTUAL, GOD FORBID, NEWS!
Mike "I'll do everything" Cathcart, formely VP, is now President. Jim "The Big Cheese" Midyette was our former president. He is now Connie Captain. Anyone who didn't know this will be shot while on duty tomorrow. Thank you.
Once again . . . we have a recruiting drive in STF. No, this
doesn't mean you get your license. This means you go out and post in BBs and try to get new members in STF, so that the Connie can have an XO and other deserving ships can have such valuable positions as CMO, CSO, CE, COS, C-in-C, CHiPS, MCI, Eng-1, Engine 4, Engine Company 22, US Army Corps Of Engineers, etc. filled
Siskoism, that wonderful religion that exhalts Sisko as the leader of Trekkiedom, and shows the path of Moral and Political Right to the fine citizens of STF, will be holding a meeting every night at "STF SISKO TEMPLE." Be there.
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
is published every once in a while by Michael J. "Hey! I'm talkin' here!" Ballway, and even though he does have opinions, contrary to popular myth, they are not necessarily those of the SNN management and are most definately not those of the UPN management. In fact, they're not even the opinions of The Almighty Sisko, so pbbt. If you want to complain about his opinions -- stuff it. OK, if you really want to complain, or say something good, or even place an ad in this SNN publication -- click your heels three times and Email reply to this note.
Commodore Mike "bwsc65c@prodigy.com" Ballway
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