Allright, welcome back to SNN UPDATE once again. There are those of you out there who are probably teed off because you think the song last issue was, shall we say, below par. For those of you who think this, blame Jaxa. If she hadn't posted the lyrics to the actual "Animaniacs" song, I never would have gotten the idea to write my own. For those of you who thought it was genuinely funny, I take full credit.

All of you have probably already seen the Voyager premiere. Those who did not see it will, of course, be shot while on duty tommorrow morning. So what do you think of it? Email me and tell me. I want some "surprised STFer Reactions" to the "Dramatically Different" season to feature in the next issue of SNN UPDATE.

Now, the DS9 premiere is also coming up. Now, I'm sure that all of you out there are busy chatting with your Trek friends over Worf's supposed arrival at DS9. So, as a public service, and to save the writers some trouble, I've thought of the . . .

TOP TEN EXCUSES TO BRING WORF ON BOARD DEEP SPACE NINE
10. Alexander's daycare center shut down, and DS9 has the next-closest one
9. Mogh once lost a Bat'leth tournament to Curzon and Worf needs a rematch to preserve his honor
8. Worf's been looking at old flight recorder logs, and wants to "talk" to O'Brien about that sarcastic smirk in the 'lift . . .
7. He heard the Bajor School District is better than the Earth one, and wants to switch Alex to a new school
6. He has reason to believe that Lursa & B'Etor's death was "not as it seemed" and wants to interview some of the last people to see them
5. Quark is having an invitational poker tournament
4. Heard that Bashir still hadn't seen serious Holodeck wounds, and decided to "break him in"
3. Wants to teach Odo how to do a Klingon Forehead
2. Some bum Y'Ridian told him there was a colony of Klingon refugees in the Wormhole
1. He wants to swap trade secrets with the Jem'Hadar

OK. So shoot me.

=/\= NOW FOR THE REAL NEWS . . .