the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 21
Monday, 29 April 1996 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= Stardate 96042.9 =/\=
Hello and welcome back once again to another fun edition of SNN UPDATE, official sponsor of the 1996 Blue Jello Olympics! Today's headlines: The ED springs back to life, President Randy McCullick returns to the land of the living, and (on a more somber note) two noted STF captains resign in the wake of Velos' disappearance and an increased antagonism between Vice President Oven and Plumber Den. All this and more in today's SNN UPDATE!
=/\= NEWS
The STF Department of Engineering has never really lived up to its charter, given to it in late 1994 and secured by the power of the Jim Midyette Presidential Administration. The original purpose was to upgrade all STF ships to new, fan-designed classes ASAP; Almost no sizeable dent has been made in that task since. That, however, is changing. Under the leadership of Commodore Mike "I'm the most modest person in the whole world" Ballway, the ED has picked up a new pace recently and EDir Mike opes to have all work on the new classes done in May and June and have all the upgrades pending or completed by mid-June. Engineers, please report to the "STF - ED" area to learn more about the upgrades.
Dresden CO Philippe "No Nickname" Conway resigned last week, for a personal reason: his daughter has apperently fallen ill, and he feels he can no longer donate enough of his attention to STF. Such things cannot be helped, but we here at SNN UPDATE offer our condolences to both the crew of the Dresden as well as Philippe and his daughter.
Ark Angel CO Dave "CDC" Citro resigned on the 25th, citing the Den "Plumber Boy" Hannigan-Nick "Ego Boy" Oven bickering as a primary motivator. He spoke of being "fed up" with the "overly sensative" nature of STF lately, pointing at Nick's "OFFICIAL COMPLAINT" to the Premz as evidence. Dave's going away is being mourned by fellow Angel crewmen and other concerned STFers alike. President Randy "Premz" McCullick added that Dave had sent him an Email confirming the reasons for his leaving. No word yet on whom the Premz will appoint to fill the vacancies.
In a related story, bickering between the aforementioned Oven and Hannigan appears to be in a decline, thanks to Premsident McCullick's intervention. Following Dave Citro's resignation, however, R.E. has said he is keeping Vice-President Oven on a "short leash" and goes on to state that one more slipup could mean a dismissal from Command for Nick.
Finally, a lighter note: Jello and Coke are back! Each has a subject on the USS Aurora, where Pepsiites and Blue Jello crusaders are fighting back against the Commie Pinko-Coke Conspiracy that threatens all of STF. Additional battlegrounds include most major restaurants in the OT as well as the Dorms in the Academy and Commander Rebecca "Comrade Becca" Juarez's quarters on the Connie.
CHAT MEET! Everyone who is Chat-Capable, please report to the OT subject "CHAT MEET" and register your Chat Name as well as voting for the time for the next meet. Sign up for your best chance to talk realtime with other STFers!
=/\= SNN UPDATE
is published, barring Acts Of Sisko, biweekly, by Michael J. "BJ Lives!" Ballway. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of STF Command, of Pepsi International, of the Prodigy Service, or even of Mike Ballway. In fact, they're not even necessarily OPINIONS, for all I know. SNN UPDATE was founded on the Journalistic Motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events." If you have a complaint, stuff it. No, seriously: To Complain, Comment, or Commend some bit of reporting here, click you heels twice and Email reply to this note . . .
--Commodore Mike "bwsc65c@prodigy.com" Ballway, Writer
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