SNN UPDATE #32

Sunday, 5 January 1997

                     
                    =/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=                    
                 =/\= Stardate 97010.5 =/\=                 
                                                            
It's that special time again on the PUN network, time again 
to visit LOGIC HOUR WITH COMMANDER SRAEK.  I'll be your     
host for tonight.  Call me Sraek.  That's what most intel-  
ligent life-forms call me.  Den calls me that, too.  To-    
day's topic is Presidential Elections, and the futility     
thereof.  A specter is haunting STF, the specter of P.U.N.  
"Den" and Owen "Grumble, Grumble, Mutiny, Mutiny" Townes    
have joined in a somewhat holy alliance to eradicate SNN    
UPDATE.  Here's today's top stories:                        
=/\= NEWS                                                   
* As you may have inferred, from the introduction or from   
 the source itself, Dennis "Piping Entertainment Into Your  
 Living Room" Hannigan has restarted the somewhat popular   
 PUN (Plumbers' Union Network).  His pilot program this     
 time around is a show remarkably similar to SNN UPDATE, so 
 similar that if I  were VIACOM, I'd sue.  I'm not, though, 
 so I'll just make unflattering references to Den in this   
 publication.  Bring your wrench: "STF PUN NEWSNETWORK"     
* Speaking of VIACOM and unflattering references, a con-    
 dition dubbed "red alert" by concerned netizens exists on  
 the World Wide Web;  Paramount has started cracking down   
 on ST webmasters, demanding site closures and threatening  
 legal action.  To read one website's tale of woe, point    
 your browser at "http://www.loskene.com/".  Aaron "Kay     
 Thanks" Holland has been trying to spread awareness of the 
 crackdown in STF, advertising the site "http://www.        
 starbase21.com/holodeck3/red_alert.html".  Excersize your  
 right to free speech, STFers!  Fight the system!        
* You've either been waiting for or dreading this, but here 
 goes: STF ELECTIONS ARE BACK ON.  The campaigning hasn't   
 gotten any better, but I'm tired of waiting... from now    
 until 19 January (a Sunday), you can cast your ballots by  
 emailing the Election Coordinator, Mike Ballway, at        
 bwsc65c@prodigy.com.  Once again, the candidates:          
                                                            
 1. Incumbents Pres. Randy "The Big Cheesehead" McCullick   
    and VP Nick "Incompetant Idiot" Oven                    
 3. Challengers Greg "Getting STF Back On Track" Hertzsch   
    and Owen "1996 'With All Due Respect Sir' Award" Townes 
                                                            
 Everyone remember to vote!  Have a nice day!               
                                                            
=/\= SPECIAL BULLETINS                                      
* It's time to say goodbye to the STNG Halloween party.  It 
 has, sadly, gone the way of McParty V;  it was a bit more  
 fun while it lasted, though.  Dennis "_P_lumbers _A_re     
 _R_eally _T_errific, _Y_eah!" Hannigan, however, tells us  
 that the USS Ark Angel is hosting a New Years' Party...    
 drop by, sample some of the 47 drinks.                     
* On a more personal note, this Christmas week saw my       
 fourth-year anniversary with STF.  My, it's been a         
 while... Den has started calling me an old-timer.  Den! 
                                                            
                                                            
     Once again, we've got more space than news.  Enjoy.    
                                                            
                                                            
=/\= SNN UPDATE                                             
is published every once-in-a-while by Election Coordinator  
Mike "On again, off again, heh heh heh" Ballway.  The opin- 
ions expressed herein are not necessarily those of STF or   
ZMP.  Any shots taken at STF figures' personalities are     
entirely in jest.  SNN is not connected with PUN.  SNN is   
not connected to the Holy Church of Sisko.  SNN was not     
connected with the Watergate scandal.  Commander Sraek does 
not speak for SNN.  Den does not speak for SNN.  Richard M. 
Nixon was not speaking for SNN when he said, "I am not a    
crook."  Complaints and other fun stuff can be emailed to   
the publisher/editor -- Cdre. Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway