the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 37
Sunday, 9 March 1997 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= Stardate 97030.9 =/\=
It's the conclusion of Month 1 of the Hertzsch/Townes Administration, and STF is hap-hap-happy with fun-fun-fun on the horizon. Here in today's SNN UPDATE we'll be looking at such things as the Academy, some old faces reappearing, some bad stuff regarding one of our non-member transients, the Internet, and other matters that only concern you if you happen to be the editor of a well-established STF publishing corporation. Or a member of the club.
=/\= NEWS (as if we do anything else anymore)
Ex-STFer Mike "Mr. President? Are you in there?" Bourdaa, one of those few lucky enough to be mentioned in Jim "The Big Cheese" Midyette's "No Regrets," has reappeared in STFland lately. The former Fleet Adm., who had left STF to form STC long long ago, has returned requesting a job in Science or Engineering, and has been awarded by President Greg "That's an order!" Hertzsch a swift field promotion to Commander. Good luck Mike!
Ex-STFer Mike "The Bonneville? Yuck!" Barclay, also known affectionately as "Barcbutt," popped in on STF again to perpetuate the remarkably on-topic discussion of cars, Southern California, and other Simi Valleyish concerns at "STF WEATHER." (?) Good luck Mike!
Ex-STFer Mike "The Big Cheez-Whiz" Cathcart has been sighted signing autographs for his new book, "How to Stay Out Of The Limelight," from his secluded home in Argentina. Once again, he's left STF under our noses with nary a "good Bye" well, good luck Mike!
Ex-STFer Mike . . . oh, whoops. Sorry.
Nick "My Ego Is Bigger Than Yours" Oven, apparently feeling a deservance of something higher than the Captaincy of the Trinitron (and who wouldn't?), has found his niche in the newly-created Internet Department of STF. As IDir, he will re-create our STF Web Page and manage the entire system, no doubt with the help of Aaron "Frames Are Fun!" Holland, who already has a Fleet One page up. Possible slogan for the new department: "With ID, you're somebody!"
Phillip "Tell me when we get some reqruits" Bishop has accepted the late cabinet appointment of Academy Commandant, possibly the least lucrative command slot. With fanfare worthy of a major motion picture, Greg "STF President Greg Hertzsch" Hertzsch has restarted all of the old classroom subs and has instructed Phil to hire new teachers. Among the suckers who turned out: Sue "It is Nick, so it kinda fits" Isik (Medical) and Mike "Wait a minute here" Ballway (Engineering). Both Nick and Den stopped by to protest not being given the job of Asst. ACmdt., which Greg says does not exist.
Tim "GI Joe Fleet" Reilley has apparently taken up the junk-mailing torch here in STF lately. His most recent transgressions were the posting of two decidedly pointless notes in STF Command subjects he created: "STF - CONFUSED !!!" and "STF - NEW WORLDS TOO." President Hertzsch, labeling Tim "Fagboy Reiley," urged STFers to not visit any subs with dashes in them that are not related to official STF business. The complete list is in his office. ("STF - PREZ OFFICE")
=/\= SNN UPDATE
is published now and then by Mike "The Rain In Spain" Ballway, subject to periodic fluctuations in sausage sales in Novosibirsk and sunspot activity on Betelguese. SNN UPDATE adheres to the Journalistic Motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events" and hopes, one day, to become an astronaut. If you have a complaint or comment, send Email; chances are, I might read it. In any event, have a nice day and remember: "Suicide is not the answer, but it's a pretty good guess if you don't know"
Commodore Mike "Good Luck Mike!" Ballway, Editor, CNN of STF
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