the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 46
Tuesday, 11 November 1997 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= Stardate 97111.1 =/\=
"It's 110 miles to Chicago -- we got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses."
Did you remember to pack your SNN UPDATE?
Welcome back once again to SNN Center, conveniently located right next to the Office of the Assessor of Cook County in the Richard J. Daley building. Tonight's UPDATE contains a star-studded cast of actors and musicians -- read on.
=/\= "THE NEWS BROTHERS"
Our top story tonight concerns the STF Engineering Department. ED DockMaster Commodore Mike "This is glue -- strong stuff" Ballway has been pushing ahead plans for the ED's New Fleet, which now has expanded to seven ships. Apart from the Nimitz, Aurora, Trinitron, and Trafalgar classes already "in," the ED has added the Independence (designed by Jeff "The light was clearly yellow, officer" Field), the Darwin, and the Olympic (both designed by Mike "Stand by your Han" Bourdaa). Check this space for details, or, better yet, check various spaces at the ED.
Still on the block: The proposed STF Charter, also from Mike "Want an orange whip?" Ballway. Debate continues (more precisely, debate doesn't continue) on this document as we speak/write/whatever. Rumor has it that Jeff "Rawhide" Field will soon voice grievances with the plan, but we haven't seen that yet.
In WeBB news, Franco "The Absolute Cheese" Torres, leader of STF from September 1991 to September 1992, has recently joined Fleet 4 as XO on the USS Montgomery. The former Flag Admiral was a founding member of STF and a collaborator in the infamous Platt Scandal, before resigning and leaving the Center Seat to -- you guessed it -- Jim "The Big Cheese" Midyette.
The new STF Personnel List has been posted in "STF - PERSONNEL LIST" by Commodore Aaron "There must be at least $7 in quarters here" Holland. Bowing to popular pressure, Aaron has decided to nix Mike "The Ex-Big Cheez Whiz" Cathcart from the CMO spot on the Ark Angel (from which he's been AWOL for more than a year). Conspicuously not missing: Emily "Is this the new Bluesmobile, or what?" Braunstein of the AA and Nick "It needs a new lighter" Oven. The latter has been neglecting his Victorious captaincy for altogether too long in favor of his WeBB and star-fleet.com engagements; the former just hasn't been heard from in a couple of months.
Now, direct from Calumet City, Illinois: The Mike Update
- Fmr. FgA. Mike "Trooper Branch" Bertsch is no longer with us, after leaving the club to Franco Torres;
- Fmr. F.A. Mike "Trooper Mount" Cathcart, despite "modem trouble" and PD List removal, should be back "soon";
- Fmr. Adm. Mike "Mr. Mercer" Barclay, a.k.a. Barcbutt, hasn't been heard from since being posted to the WeBB;
- Capt. Mike "Joliet Jake" Bourdaa is very active here;
- Ens. Mike "I have no idea who this is" Barret of DS19 is the first Mike to sign up for the WeBB exclusively;
- Cdre. Mike "Elwood" Ballway, highest-ranked STFer, is wasting his time writing this and WeBBsights. Enjoy!
=/\= SNN UPDATE #46
starred John Belushi and Dan Ackroyd as two fun-lovin' news reporters who put the Band back together and raise some money for an orphanage, all the while singing some of the greatest rock and blues hits of the century. It was written by Mike "This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive" Ballway and filmed entirely on-location in Chicago. Please send any complaints to the address on our driver's license, 1060 W. Addison St., Chicago, Illinois, 60611. Neither ZMP, STF, SNN, nor any other three-letter acronym is responsible for the content of this post, so don't even think it.
--Cdre. Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway, Executive Editor, CNN of STF
Page Created on 27 November 1997 -- Last Updated on 10 July 1998
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