the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 47
Saturday, 15 November 1997 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE =/\=
=/\= Stardate 97111.5 =/\=
It's ten-thirty A.M. Do you know where your PADD is?
Welcome back once again to another exciting issue of SNN UPDATE, the only STF periodical that is spell-checked more often than it is fact-checked. We will endeavor to make fewer factual errors in this issue than we did in the last one, and will report on the (everyone "oooh" here) Veterans' Day Address of Our Favorite Prez, which we missed by about two hours last UPDATE.
=/\= THE PREZ ADDRESS
In his first address of the New Term, STF President Greg "Supreme Executive" Hertzsch, just like his idol, U.S. Prez Bill "I Didn't Touch The Big Mac" Clinton, has rearranged his Cabinet a little. Appointees -- and Retainees -- are nicely laid out below, for your approval.
- VFA Owen "The XO Files" Townes, Veep and EDir;
- Cdre. Aaron "Nowhere Man" Holland, FComm-1 and PDir;
- Cdre. Mike "The Untouchable" Ballway, FComm-2;
- Capt. Nick "The Unreachable" Oven, IDir;
- Capt. Colin "No Goats Here" Wyers, GMDir (NEW!)
- Lt. Phil "Dunno!" Bishop, Academy Commandant;
Implied but not mentioned are the retentions of Commodores Mike "It's Coder-iffic" Bourdaa and Jeff "The Goat Man" Field as FComms-3 and -4, respectively.
Also in the Prez Address was a promise to jump-start some RPGs, especially on the Vicky and AA, both of which get renewed commitments from AA GM Jeff "The Fourman" Field and from the Prez himself, who GMs the Vicky.
=/\= OTHER NEWS
Our other star story of the day is the STF Engineering Department, that wonderful office from which STF gets all of its ship approvals . . . amazingly enough, some progress is being made behind the scenes as DockMaster Mike "87% Correct" Ballway works on integrating the Columbus, Independence, Darwin, and Olympic designs into STF's fleet makeup. The designers of these ships (Jeff "sffina ktaana" Field, Colin "There is no Captain's Yacht" Wyers, Mike "Just remember not to ride the clutch, Ensign" Bourdaa, and Mike "Without history, we would have to repeat ourselves" Bourdaa/Nick "The Absent Professor" Oven, respectively) are also very involved in the discussion in the STF ED.
In McParty news, nothing is happening despite repeated Presidential attempts to prolong the life of McParty VI.
The debate is raging in the Prez Office over whether (brace yourself for a really controversial issue here) RPing Starbases should count the same as ships for Fleet "maximum-ship" regulations. Oooh! Major players in the debate include Mike "Yes" Ballway, Mike "What he said" Bourdaa, and STF President Mike "No" Hertzsch.
The Starfleet News Network, much to its future dismay, has broadcast an unauthorized post by Mark "My Two Cents" Wilson, in which the Convert from STNG voices his concern regarding President Hertzsch's policies. Controversial? Yes. Totally biased? You bet. Inaccurate? Es posible. In short, another chip off the ol' SNN block.
=/\= SNN UPDATE #47
is never wrong, but realizes that sometimes the real world is not 100% right, so the news items reported herein are not always an adequate reflection of STF reality. SNN UPDATE nonetheless subscribes to both the Chicago Tribune and the Journalistic Motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events." Our sincerest apologies go out to President Hertzsch's appointee to the post of FComm-0, Commodore Gavin G. Gunhold, who does not exist. Contact SNN UPDATE with any gripes, gaffes, or good ideas at the Email address of the Executive Editor, who writes it.
--Cdre. Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway, Executive Editor, CNN of STF
Page Created on 28 November 1997 -- Last Updated on 10 July 1998
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