the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 60
Tuesday, 4 August 1998 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE #60 =/\=
=/\= Stardate 98080.4 =/\=
You read it right, folks! SNN UPDATE is five issues away from qualifying for STF Medicare!
Welcome back once again to SNN Center in Chicago where we find it absolutely necessary to remind the young 'uns about how we used to have it. Why, back when we started publishing this newsletter, we used to have to walk five miles in 3-foot snow drifts, back and forth, just to get to the computer -- uphill both ways. Hmpf.
=/\= NEWS? FORGET NEWS, MATLOCK'S ON!
Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. The way this world's headin', I ain't so surprised that it happened when it did. Consarn it, SNN Headline News scooped us again! Read all about it in [STF - CNN OF STF].
The Fogeys' Club on the WeBB OT has once again expanded to invite another recently-rejoined member: Mike "The Ex-Big Cheez-Whiz" Cathcart, former President, Personnel Director, Vice-President, SNN Editor-in-Chief, and Wolverine-quoting CNN-spoofing Snapple-drinking engineer. The day that we've been dreading since SNN UPDATE began publication is now upon us: Excepting Platt and Bertsch, every Mike who has ever held a command position in STF is a current member. As Cathcart said once in an SNN article: On Prodigy, no one can hear you scream. The former Editor is now serving on the WeBB.
You may not have noticed it, but that's just becuase you're looking in the wrong place: The seventh McParty has now begun on the WeBB Fleetwide OOC area, which until recently had been competing with the Aurora for Lack of Activity. Emmie "McTrivia for all" Hunt, formerly of STF*P's Rebels Bar (199?-1995), has taken up the role of Party Coördinator. Jello Wars have sprung up, as have Cola Wars, but the fine art of the Jello War has been lost in recent years, regressing into mere one-upmanship. A reversal of this phenomenon would certainly prevent this shindig's epithet from being McParty VII: Degenerations.
Mike "It's good to be the pope!" Barclay, in other WeBB OOC news, has begun a rejuvenation of the religion Siskoism. Really.
Captains around the Fleets are grousing about a new GMD policy, originating from GMDir Deanne "Guten" Morgan's desk. The new rule mandates that all ships must have a GM who is not a crewmember. WeBB CO Matt "Jason Who?" Agee resigned in protest last month, and STF's more traditional members, led by Commodore Mike "Winner of the 1998 Starfleet Academy Award for Artistic Overuse of the Word 'Midyidiot'" Barclay, have rushed to his side in opposition to this action, which effectively ends STF's history of self-RPGs on experienced ships. SNN UPDATE's political correspondent (Pete) reports that a debate is rumored to be in the works for the WeBB Central HQ subjects.
STF is once again in an activity slump, at least where Command is concerned, due to Mike "The IRCheese" Bourdaa's recent LOA (he has returned); Randy "The Vice-PREMsident" McCullick's still-current LOA; Mike "Sweet home, Cleveland" Ballway's 2-week LOA (obviously over); and Larry "The Forceful FComm" Garfield's vacation LOA (in progress).
=/\= SNN UPDATE #60
is the ranting and raving of a tired old STF fogey who's getting to old for this kind of work anyway. SNN UPDATE remembers the days when the old Journalistic Motto -- "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events" -- actually meant something, and a dime would buy you ten cents' worth of coffee. Back in those days, SNN UPDATE was the undisputed master of the SNN scene, none of that newfangled WeBBsights or Headline News. Whatever happened to those days? Whatever happened to courtesy, respect, and comments and complaints emailed to
--Commodore Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway, Executive Editor, SNN?
Page Created on 17 August 1998 -- Last Updated on 17 August 1998
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