the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 63
Monday, 24 August 1998 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE, R.I.P. =/\=
=/\= Stardate 98082.4 =/\=
It had to happen sooner or later -- actually, it happened later rather than sooner. It's been almost four years since SNN UPDATE debuted, and now we end the saga with our first, and only, triple-feature (check this space tomorrow and the day after).
Welcome back once again to SNN Center, where we have at least a week's worth of news despite fierce competition from the Other Guys.
=/\= NEWS
Our top story is probably the ongoing saga of Fleet Two's uprooting and the confusion that said transposition of armadas has wrought on STF. Normal operations have begun on all three GWF-WeBB ships: The USS Constellation, headed by Mike "All good things must come to an end" Ballway and Seamus "Former Member, Executive Class" Hughes; the USS Trinitron, commanded by former F2 CO (among other things) Mike "Barclay" Barcbutt and WeBB postaholic B.J. "Backup Jefe" Phillips; and the USS Nautilus, led by defeated Prez/Veep ticket Mark "I bite thee, O hand that feeds me" Loganbach and Bill "What he said" Gunty. Really!
Mark "Let's create confusion for Mike" Wilson has published at least two (2) SNN Headline News, WeBB Edition issues on the WeBB OOC. The Associate Editor reportedly discovered the Internet one night when he realized that WeBB content wasn't going to just appear magically on Prodigy. Much to the chagrin of the people who try to keep SNN in order (who are these people again?), the WeBB Edition of SNN/HN contains completely different stories than the Prodigy ("normal") Edition. As you might have expected, SNN/HN*P is not on the WeBB, and SNN/HN*W is not on Prodigy. Isn't technology wonderful?
On a related note, Mark has been promising various WeBBsters that a SNN-fn (SNN Financial Network) is in the works. Executive Editor Mike "He's hiding something" Ballway had vehemently denied this rumor, ever since January, until last week when Mark announced its iminent formation. According to SNN-fn anchor Vincent "The Stock Market Guy" Linguini, among the first of FN's programming will be a "hot market tips" show, tentatively entitled "Truth or Shares." "Vince" Linguini says that the first featured stocks will all be in the starship-construction industry; insiders on Wall Street tell us that a mysterious broker known only as "XEM" has been buying tons of shares in Daimler-Benz-Chrysler-Ford-Mitsubishi-Isuzu-Yugo Motors. We'll keep you posted.
For the best in non-WeBB STF news, turn to the informative Page 5 of SNN UPDATE! Mark "Job security is a plus" Wilson, CO of the so-called USS Victorious, reportedly screamed himself silly about his ship's transfer from F2 to F1. "At least it's still one of the function keys," he said when he found out that he would be moving with his ship. On 21 August Den "Dennis" Hannigan, confessed leader and top plumber of F1, officially welcomed the Vicky into the Foremost Fleet. Strangely enough, this note was posted in the Fleet Two area; the Vicky has not actually moved yet, prompting some in STF to say, "huh?"
=/\= REQUIESCAT IN PACE, SNN UPDATE #63
is what they're saying over at Arlington now, as Everyone's Favorite Newsletter dedicated to the Journalistic Motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events" gets ready for its one-way trip to The Other Side. Whatever comments or (God forbid!) criticisms you might have of our fine product should be addressed to us as a reply to this note. SNN, the Starfleet News Network, guarantees that the above information is either true or not true. SNN also guarantees that the publisher of this fine work of art either is or is not, but probably is,
--Commodore Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway, Executive Editor, SNN
Page Created on 8 September 1998 -- Last Updated on 8 September 1998
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