the starfleet news network | snn update archive | s.u. issue no. 64
Tuesday, 25 August 1998 -- Mike Ballway
=/\= SNN UPDATE, R.I.P. =/\=
=/\= Stardate 98082.5 =/\=
Welcome back once again for the penultimate time to the SNN UPDATE farewell trilogy.
What's new in STF since yesterday? Not much. But what hasn't been reported yet by SNN? Now that is a long list of items. This is the rerun issue of SNN UPDATE: The stories we missed, rehashed for our loyal readers. Remember, if you haven't read it yet, it's news to you!
=/\= YESTERDAY'S NEWS, TODAY
It was last week that Seamus "There ain't room enough in this network for the two of us" Hughes published the first edition of "Aye on the WeBB," the newest competitor for the Starfleet News Network and its largest-circulation newspaper, WeBBsights. Hughes was a reporter for WS in 1997, before his resignation from STF (he has since rejoined); WeBBsights itself has been on hiatus since June.
On the WeBB, the McParty VII has slowed down a bit, with the Cola and Jello Wars having gone almost completely inoperative and the Religious Wars now restricted to skirmishes between Greg "GDMF JMS" Hertzsch's Jeff Sinclair sect and some pre-Surak Vulcanism stuff (don't ask us to explain it). Emmie "My party! My party!" Hunt has been inexplicably silent of late; no help is apparent from the McHost.
Direct democracy of opinion, late in coming to STF's Internet branch, is now invading the WeBB from all sides as various petitions have been posted in the Government fleet. Among these are grievances against the GMD and ED and suggestions for improving the WeBB interface. Prez Mike "WeBBmaster" Bourdaa has been quick to address all of these; serious and surprisingly (given that this is the WeBB) nonvindictive discussions continue.
=/\= SNN SPECIAL BULLETIN . . . THIS JUST IN
"In 2372, a Fleet One commando unit was sent to prison by a Starfleet court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum-security brig to the Beta-Quadrant underground, where they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you've got a problem -- if no one else can help -- and if you can find them, maybe you can hire . . . The AA-Team!"
Look out for these fugitives:
- Col. Den "Hannigan" Leadsmith
- Lt. Gerry "Phase" Martin
- Capt. G.H. "Gooey Hankey" Southpark
- and "Mr. ED" as Sgt. R.E. Hare-acus
The individuals in question are to be considered extremely dangerous and prone to active and engaging RPGs. Col. "Hannigan" is a master of disguise and often masquerades as a handyman or news anchor. Capt. Southpark takes on a new Comedy Central persona every week, and is known for his sick craziness. Sgt. Hare-acus is a mechanical whiz. Congratulations, USS Ark Angel, on a one-year turnaround from idle to active. Continue your missions of mercy and look out for the feds, eh?
Next issue is #65 . . . our final installment, last hurrah.
=/\= SNN UPDATE #64
spoofed the A-Team in its Ark Angel tribute and gave you the lowdown on the most useless stories of the day, all in the name of irresponsible reporting and the Journalistic Motto of "Quick, Informative, Totally Biased Reporting of STF Events." SNN UPDATE expects to cease publication in a teary-eyed affair tomorrow, so look out for traffic jams as thousands of STFers pack SNN Center in Chicago so as not to miss their last chance to complain to the sole Publisher and Writer of this wonderful enterprise, the multitalented, one-and-only, brilliant and unique (not to mention modest)
--Commodore Mike "bwsc65c" Ballway, Executive Editor, SNN
Page Created on 8 September 1998 -- Last Updated on 8 September 1998
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