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Fleet Four commissioned
New fleet is Federation's Last
Best Hope for Peace
The new Fleet Four will be the first STF fleet since 1995 to engage
in a Fleetwide RPG. The RPG currently being considered by Commodore
Jeff Field and Captain Colin Wyers concerns an invasion of the Federation
by the mysterious Crag. Preliminary reports from the USS Montgomery
suggest that the Crag resemble three-foot-tall teddy bears. Scholars
at Pakled University tell us that DNA testing indicates a possible origin
for the Crag a long time ago, very likely in some galaxy far, far, away.
Monty to lead strike force
with Ares, Alliance, DS-19
The new Fleet Four will be led by the USS Montgomery, a Fleet
Four spokesman said yesterday. The USS Ares will also shift
to F4 and a new ship, the Nimitz-class USS Alliance, will
be created. In other news, the last phase of construction on the
new Fleet Four starbase, Deep Space 19, was halted yesterday by
a collision with a supply ship. Many in Starfleet Command, including
Fleet Captain Adam Kent, expressed their annoyance at this latest development.
"I'm not sure that that station is safe anymore," the Fleet Captain was
quoted as saying, "I think it's time to bring our boys home." NASA
officials called a press conference to quell media fears, stating that
"at no time was our crew in any danger at all." |
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Maquis infiltration
of STF prevented
A recent infiltration of Starfleet by the Maquis was discovered and
rebutted by the quick but unwitting actions of the GM Council and the crew
of the USS Montgomery. The Maquis had apparently decided to
seize control of the entirety of Fleet 3 at once, with a two-pronged attack.
As was reported last issue, the Maquis' attempted grab at the Monty
failed. Unbeknownst to the rest of the fleet, but knownst to us at
WeBBsights, The Maquis had also attempted to insert moles into the ranks
of Starfleet, using the code-name "Toke" for all of their operatives.
The had almost managed to infiltrate every ship in Fleet 3 before the abnormally
large number of Tokes in the ranks was noticed by then-Lieutenant-Commander
Sarah Black of the USS Dresden. Just as Starfleet Command
was about to commission a USS Toke, however, Black brought her evidence
to Command and the Tokes were never heard from again. Plans for this
ship have been put on hold until the Maquis Strikes Back.
Fleet Commander, 42, killed in
line of duty
Fleet Commander Joshua Patrell was killed, recently, while on an away
mission to rescue Federation hostages being held on an alien ship.
The Captain had insisted on leading the away mission against his XO's better
judgement because he felt responsible for the capture of the hostages.
Unfortunately, one of the alien guards shot him in the head. Kavox
Cox has now assumed the position of Fleet Commander of Fleet 3.
Constitution proposed
STF is a lot like the United States. We elect a president, enjoy
freedom of speech, and (just like the U.S.) have frequent Jello flights.
One way, however, in which we differ from That Great Nation is that we
lack a strong constitution. Not only does this make us vomit whenever
we see blood, but lacking a strong constitution (actually, any constitution)
also tends to confuse the STF Constitutional Law Scholars. "To heck
with that!" said Commodore Mike Ballway, who last week authored the first
comprehensive tome of STF law since the introduction of the WeBB.
The "STF Charter" has been posted on the web
and Mike invites any comments. Eventually, if it gains Presidential
approval, the Charter will go to referendum.
New bases, same faces
In a daring move, the Hertzsch Administration recently commissioned
two new starbases on the WeBB. First of these was Outpost 42, an
ex-Romulan station near the border. Although many officers feel that
there is something frighteningly familiar about this station, the Starfleet
Bureau of Repetitive Story Lines assures us that there is no resemblance
between Outpost 42 and a certain sci-fi TV show which shall remain nameless.
Shortly thereafter, Starfleet command also established Deep Space 19
to serve as the center of operations for Fleet 4 during the war with the
Crag.
Lawsuits break out in OOC
Legal action has been taken against a number of establishments on the
Promenade by one Laurence "Larry the Liquidator" Garfield. The first
was against traP's Bar and Grill for "Unlawful Wetting with an Alcoholic
Beverage." Bartender traP apparently took Larry's statement "drinks
on me" too literally and poured an Andorian Pepsi on his head. The
second lawsuit was also filed by Mr. Garfield, this time against Jeff's
International House of Small Animals for "Failure to Serve a Squirrel Without
Acorns When Asked." The third, and most heinous, crime was allegedly
committed by traP's Bar and Grill for copyright infringement against the
Antimatter Cafe of STF*Prodigy. The Antimatter Cafe claims to have
a patent on the famous dish Tribble a la Phaser, which traP's serves.
The STF Bar Association has decided to get involved in this possibly precedent-setting
case: "Infringement of this fundamental right," said Bar Association
spokesman Al K. Holic, "goes against the spirit of free competition and
is a prime example of the government getting involved where it shouldn't.
If we had a constitution, it would be unconstitutional. I mean, this
action
would be unconstitutional, not the constitution itself. I mean, that
would be kinda wacky, right?."
Zealots ziese control
(From the Book of Cahail, chapter II, verses 9 through 21)
"9 And the Lord did look upon the STF WeBB,
and he did see that all was without order. 10
And then the Lord spake unto Seamus Hughes, 'Let there be Siskoism!'
And there was Siskoism, and the Lord did grin. 11
Seamus went forth unto the Promised Land of the OOC Promenade, and did
found for himself and his sons a Church to be a Light unto the Fleets.
12
But the men and their wives who already were living in the land of Promenade
were not happy with Seamus, and they did plot against him and his flock.
13 Chief among the idol-worshipers was the
one known as Colin, who spake thusly:
14 'Wherefore
do ye, Seamus, cause the people to break loose from their First Captain?'
and Colin said, 'Behold, the people of the Fleet are now many, and will
ye make them rest from their Roleplaying?' 15
And the same day Colin commanded the taskmasters and their XOs of the people,
saying 'Ye shall no more give the crews root beer to drink or Jello to
eat as heretofore.'"
(Skip a bit, Brother Maynard.)
". . . 18 And so Colin established for
himself, and his flock, the Church of Kirk, declaring its founding principles
thusly:
"19 Where Men are men,
"20 Women are hit on,
"21 and the little furry creatures are
no tribble at all." |
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STF*Prodigy News-in-Brief
As some of the more astute WeBBsters know, STF*Prodigy has not been
doing all that much lately. For the latest in Prodigy news, check
out the two latest issues of SNN UPDATE. In
the 17 October issue, read about Greg Hertzsch
not
being opposed for elections, Mike Barclay not taking command of
Fleet Four, and Nick Oven not being active in STF*P.
In the oh-so-popular 25 October issue,
the top stories are the new Halloween Party and some Cabinet shifting.
State of the WeBB Report
USS Ares, NCC-registry?-we-don't-need-no-steenking-registry:
As it has yet to actually do anything, the Ares, now a Fleet
Four ship, has been given the gigantic responsibility of sneaking into
the Neutral Zone to investigate yet another strange technobabble anomaly.
The crew had their differences with a Tal'Shiar operative, who actually
turned out to be Colonel Lavok, of the Romulan Warbird Psionex.
Lavok has asked the Ares to assist the Romulans in their war against
the Crag, and even offered a cloaking device for the duration of the mission.
USS Athena, NCC-71819:
The crew finally decided that only top characters would board the alien
vessel to free the Federation prisoners. The mission was a success,
unless you count the death of Captain Patrell as a serious drawback.
The Athena is now on route to Alpha Centauri to attend the funeral
of the late Captain.
USS Dresden, NCC-1837-B:
A mission to search for the missing USS Genesis was cut short when
terrorists from a heretofore unknown civilization sabotaged the Dresden
in a vain attempt to hijack it and use it to defend their realm against
a hostile neighbor. The attempt was eventually thwarted.
USS Montgomery, NCC-84704:
As part of its new "Destroy the Monty" initiative, Starfleet Command
ordered the Montgomery to single-handedly take out one (1) whole
Borg colony. Despite the development, under intense time pressure,
of a half-dozen new anti-Borg wundertechnologies, the ship crash-landed
on the colony-moon, where it was discovered that an army of small, fuzzy
creatures, now believed to be the Crag, were beating the Borgs' bionic
butts. Nearly a thousand (1000) unidentified, apparently Crag vessels
arrived for the express purpose of laying waste to the colony. The
Monty
was able to escape from the planet with the help of a passing Klingon warship
only moments before the Crag finished their lunar obliteration and departed
for Deep Space 19, which is a separate entry.
USS Olympic, NCC-80000:
The Olympic's crew, despite valiant efforts, were unable to solve
the riddle given them by the Mysterious Blue Orb. In fact, they were
unable to figure out what the riddle was in the first place.
When the MBO sentenced the entire crew to death for their failure, XO Churchill
inspired his crew with this moving speech: "We shall fight them in
the shuttlebays, we shall fight them in the corridors, we shall fight them
in the holodecks and in the mess hall. We shall defend our starship,
whatever the cost may be." To avoid the torture of listening to more
of this lifted-from-WWII pep-talk, the Orb gave Churchill the option of
sacrificing himself to save his ship. Churchill, like any good Brit,
accepted.
Deep Space 19: Really,
nothing much has happened. Preparations for the war continue.
That's it.
Outpost 42: If
her captain is to be believed, the SS Genevieve was attacked by
another ship, the SS Hughes, while enroute to the Outpost.
Station security is investigating the incident but when the Hughes
captain died just after delivering a data disk containing a message from
a now-deceased Starfleet admiral, the crew were forced to consider that
there is more to this alleged assault than meets the eye.
Starbase 117:
AWOL Officers have rioted, seized control of the station, and declared
a fleetwide holiday in honor of the Almighty Sisko.
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