WeBBsights
-- YOUR #1 SOURCE FOR WeBB MISINFORMATION -- 
Issue 4 - Saturday, 22 November 1997 - A Publication of CNN of STF and ZMP Limited 
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EXTRA -- LATEST NEWS FROM THE FRONT -- EXTRA 
Crag menace in retreat! 
Stunning victory for our boys at Iggy V   
Recently released by the Office of War Information: 
Brave action on the part of the crew of the USS Alliance has dealt the Crag a serious blow.  Its mission to destroy the Crag base at Iggy X discovered that the real base at Iggy V was the Crag nexus for all activity in Romulan space.  Using the newly developed Cordrazine Torpedo, the Alliance managed to capture the station and drive off the surrounding Crag ships.  The Romulans were a little helpful, as well.  Renamed DS20, the station has been made the new center of Coalition Operations for the Crag War.  When the station was liberated, a message was received from the Crag Governor of the planet below, thanking the heroic officers of the Alliance for freeing them from their evil overlord. 

Near victory for the Crag thwarted by great sacrifice   
Recently discovered by WeBBsights informants, despite efforts by the government to keep it quiet: 
The reason Coalition headquarters has been moved to the new DS20 is because DS19, the former headquarters, has been destroyed.  The Crag attacked the station, and were winning the battle when Stafleet reinforcements arrived.  The USS Montgomery and the barely-functioning USS Concord, having beaten off the Crag ships with no small amount of  help from the Klingon Cruiser Twilight's Hammer, but not before loosing the USS Boston, arrived along with several other Starfleet vessels, but were beaten back by the Crag fury.  Rendezvousing with the CCS Crouge, recently captured by the crew of the USS Alliance, the task force soon recieved word that DS19 has been completely overrun, and the remaining Starfleet personnel were in retreat on board the USS Camden.  Montgomery CE Lt. Cmdr. Murri Kep, seeing that there was nothing anyone could do to make the Concord battle-worthy, suggested a suicide run against the Crag-controlled DS19.  FComm Jeff Field approved, and the Concord was evacuated of all personnel except Kep.  With the USS Pork riding shotgun, Kep brought the Concord in on a direct course for DS19.  The Pork suffered heavy damage during the run, but it was sucessful.  Kep beamed off the Concord at the last minute, just before the ship collided with the heart of the station.  Both went up in plasma flames.  The Pork returned to the task force and Kep was returned to the Montgomery.  Field decided that if news of the loss of DS19 were to become public, it might turn public opinion against the offensive, so the whole incident was kept quiet, until Ens. Rothchild, fomerly of Outpost 42 and brother-in-law of CE Kep, gave the story to SNN reporter Ens. Peter Peterson.  All ships in Fleet Four have been ordered to DS20 to recieve new attack wings for their next assignments.
THE NEWS 
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 SNN holds contest to name Fleet Four 
STF myth would suggest that all Fleets are born with a pre-established destiny and nickname.  We enlightened officers of the 24th century, of course, have evolved beyond these medieval superstitions.  So, in response to the growing discomfort in Fleet Four among the Nameless Ensigns, SNN is holding a contest to decide on a new name for the Fleet. 
Do you have any ideas for a name for the Fourth Fleet?  Is it meaningful?  Funny?  Realistic?  In English?  At least two characters long?  Inquiring minds want to know! 
Send it to us!  The winner will be annouced in a future issue of WeBBsights, and will win a 10,000-credit scholarship to Pakled University on Zeta III.  All WeBBsters are welcome to participate.  (Employees of SNN and their spouses, families, pets, and/or superior officers not elegible.  Exceptions: Larry Garfield, Mike Ballway, Seamus Hughes, but not necessarily in that order.  This offer void in Hawaii, Alaska, New York  City, and Sioux City, Iowa, unless prohibited.) 

New Cabinet announced for Hertzsch's second term   
STF President Greg Hertzsch announced on 11 November -- in a special Veterans' Day Address -- the composition of his Executive Cabinet for the next 7 months.  Few changes were made.  Vice-Fleet Admiral Owen Townes, CO of the Ares, remains Vice-President and Engineering Director; Commodore Aaron Holland remains Personnel Director and FComm-1; Commodore Mike Ballway, Executive Editor of SNN, keeps his job as FComm-2; Captain Colin Wyers, CO of the Athena, was appointed to the post of GM Director. 
Several key positions were not assigned. Interestingly enough, they all dealt with the WeBB.  The Prez assured us, however, that they were all, for the time being, retentions:  Commodore Mike Bourdaa will remain FComm-3; Commodore Jeff Field will remain FComm-4; Captain Nick Oven will most likely remain Internet Director, despite rumors and allegations that he is even more AWOL than Mike "Barclay" Barcbutt. 
FLEET BEAT
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 STF*Prodigy News-in-Brief   
In the same Presidential address where STF President Greg Hertzsch appointed his Cabinet (see above, and stop reading this newsletter out of sequence), the Prez promised to devote more time to STF's Prodigy section, which some maintain has been all but neglected by the President's administration since the WeBB went operational.  To the President's credit, however, he has managed -- with the help of Commodore Jeff Field -- to jump-start the RPGs on the Ark Angel and the Victorious.  Read about these issues as well as a Mike Update and other news of great import in the latest two editions of SNN UPDATE -- Issns. 46 (11 November 1997) and 47 (15 Nv '97). 

Fleet Three -- The Coreward Fleet  
Note:  Due to temporal relativity difficulties, the report for Fleet Three may be slightly dated. 

  • USS Athena, NCC-71819: Recent inconsistancies in the EPS system have been traced to a evil little man who lives in the Jeffries tubes.  This evil little man feeds on Nameless Ensigns whom he steals from the port warp nacelle, which is why the nacelle never works.  Meanwhile, Captain Patrell's funeral has been completed and the Athena has been ordered to save an outpost from the same unknown aliens they faced down in the last mission.  Finding the area empty, Capt. Robinson and several other crew members have started an all-out war to see who spends too much time on the WeBB.  Jeff Field (the only true and real GM), Colin Wyers, and Seamus Hughes are currently in the lead. 

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  • USS Brooklyn, NCC-84706:  The Brooklyn has been ordered to Dali V to stop a Klingon/Romulan terrorist group which is holding Federation citizens.  They apparently are using a fake mining colony as a cover, and are defended by several Vor'cha-class cruisers. 

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  • USS Dresden, NCC-1837-B: The Maquis have attacked the Dresden for infringing on what they claim is Maquis space, using stolen cloaking devices in the process.  The captain ordered the ship to the Maquis planet, where they were again attacked by the ground installation.  Just to make things interesting, the system's star is on the verge of going nova. 

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  • USS Olympic, NX-80000:  The Captain and the Captain of the alien vessel have been kidnapped.  Apparently the newly contacted species is at war with another race who has kidnapped the two captains in order to hold them for ransom deep in the jungle.  They are demanding 100 "light weapons" or phasers for the return of the Olympic captain. 

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  • Outpost 42: Dispite concerns that XO O'Riley's Irish Bash would deteriorate into a brawl, the celebration so far has been quite peaceful and enjoyable.  Meanwhile, the SS Geneve's captain, who still doesn't have a name, broke down and confessed that she was to deliver the Chalice of Rixx to a secret representitive on the planet(oid) Zeta III, where the crew of the USS Montgomery was marooned by the Maquis recently.  Chief of Station Security Stoek and XO O'Riley have taken the Geneve to Zeta III along with Nameless Ensigns Murri and Bligh to capture the would-be-buyer.  During Lt. Stoek's absence, however, the Geneve crew made an escape attempt, resulting in the death of Nameless Ensign Rothchild and the injury of several civilians.  The SS Lwannin has also arrived, bearing a rather unwelcomed guest who has made it quite clear that she wants her property back.  The Daughter of the Fifth House, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed and her gigantic manservant have nearly scared Asst. CSS Bliht William out of his skin and are currently harrassing BCO Kirk in her office. 

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  • Starbase 117: Siskoism zealots pledging alleigance to Pope Seamus have taken control of the station back from the Jello factions.  The insurgent Siskoists, operating on orders from their religion's headquarters on Novaroma VII, are currently involved in drafting legislation barring minority religions such as the Church of Kirk and Janewayism from operating schools, holding open prayer session, speaking in public, breathing, etc.  Larry Cardinal Garfield, Archbishop of Sigma Tristan, when asked how far the Church should go, responded, "I have one word for you:  Inquisitions!  Make the heathens convert!  And what about you, Mr. News Reporter?  Are you one of the Chosen?  Confess!  Confess!" 

    • Not all Siskoists are happy with this latest turn of events.  Archbishop of Fleet One Adam Cardinal Kent told the Nameless Ensigns' Weekly Standard that he favors less-medieval tactics.  In response to plans to torture Colin Wyers, founder of the Church of Kirk, Cardinal Kent had this to say: "Now that's overkill.  One week of The Rack should be quite enough." 

    Fleet Four -- The "Unfourgettable" Fleet   

  • USS Alliance, NCC-82396: See Headline Story 

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  • USS Ares, NCC-my-registry-is-corrupted: While waiting for the SFX-budget-blowing anomaly to respond to initial scans, the Ares was attacked by a Crag attack squadron out on patrol.  The Ares fled through the anomaly, in the process being turned upside-down, inside-out, leftside-right, forewardside-aft, and other directions.  On the other side, Earth was found to be home to several billion lifeforms, not necessarly human, and the system was populated by a few stations, also not necessarily human.  A Romulan ship confirmedthat the lifeforms were not human, and gave the Ares 10 seconds to leave "Klingon-Romulan Alliance" space.  The fight in Sickbay, meanwhile, has ended with shape-shifting COS Kam Jahla getting away with not having a physical, but CMO Hughes has sworn that he will get his physical, one way or another...  

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  • USS Columbus, NX-97000:  The Columbus is en route to the new DS20 to take command of a new attack wing for the next phase of the war, so the crew is keeping busy with Character Development.  The French Infantry has attacked, wounding one crew member and nearly killing another.  The Chief Engineer has yet to determine why the holodeck safeties were disabled during this exercise.  In other news, the Columbus Emergency Medical Holographic Program has joined the ranks of the great physicians of Federation history with the words "I'm a doctor, not a secretary."  

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  • USS Independence, NX-98311:  Currently under the command of the senior staff of DS19, the Independence is still chasing after the Crag ships headed for Vulcan.  Since DS19 has been destroyed, they don't have anything else to do, anyway.  An away team has been beamed over to the troop transport, but has not reported in in several days, and is therefore presumed MIA.  

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  • USS Montgomery, NCC-84704: See Headline Story 

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  • Deep Space 19: See Headline Story 
    		•
    WEBBsights #4 
    "To go boldly where prior to this instance no one has gone."  
    WeBBsights welcomes any and all comments and criticisms from its readers -- yes, both of you. 
    Direct any messages to either of the Editors.  
    *   *   * 
    Commodore Michael J. Ballway, Executive Editor  
    Captain Laurence O. Garfield, Associate Editor  
    Commander Seamus Hughes, Chief Correspondant, Fleet Three 
    His Honor da Mayor  Richard J. Daley, Chicago City Desk  
    *   *   * 
    © 1997 Zygweebil Mufasa Productions and CNN of STF. 
    The WeBBsights management will not be held responsible if any of the above information is true.  
    No animals were harmed in making of this newsletter, with the possible exception of a few Crag, who don't count anyway.