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CMGN crosses fleets' signals
Crag War ends; Crag petition
to join Federation
ZETA ALPHA III (CRELL) -- Starfleet has freed
yet another race from subjugation by evil baddies. As reported last
issue, the HMS Alliance had discovered that the Crag were in fact
being controlled by the Overlords using the Force, channelled through the
Star of Death, a Dyson Sphere built around a pulsar. The Alliance
had received reinforcements and attacked the Rolchana, the Crag
name for the Star of Death, but soon discovered that the Empire had laid
a trap for the intrepid officers. They also discovered that the Crag had
kidnapped Fleet Four FComm Jeff Field from the HMS Montgomery and
brought him aboard the Rolchana. Targeting a weakened section
of the Rolchana hull, the Alliance Task Force managed to
break a hole large enough that a shuttle filled with trilithium could enter
it and detonate the pulsar. Field managed to break free and beam
off the shuttle just before the Rolchana exploded in one of Industrial
Light and Magic's patented ring explosions. The Crag, now free of
their Overlords, have petitioned for membership in the Federation, and
Parliament is considering their request. Meanwhile, the Crag have
granted shore-leave to any Starfleet personnel on Crell, and given to Starfleet
control of Imperial Starbase No. 202, which orbits Crell. The Alliance
has been ordered to host an exchange mission with the Crag in expectation
of Crell being admitted, and the rest of the Fleet have been ordered to
stand down.
Federation President assassinated;
Fleet Three in chaos
THE LITTLE BITS OF MATTER IN VACUUM THAT WERE ONCE STARBASE
117 -- In early breaking news, Federation Prime Minister Fred Perch
was assassinated on board Starbase 117 during an unannounced visit to FComm
Kavox Cox. Since the animosity between the two was not secret, and
Perch was killed by a bomb in Kavox's office, Kavox was arrested for the
crime and hold first on Imperial Starbase No. 117, then on Her Majesty's
Royal Outpost 42, then on the HMS Athena, and, according to unconfirmed
reports from the Nameless Ensigns' Weekly Standard, on Imperial
Starbase No. 202 in Fleet Four and Cardassia. The vacancy opened
up by Kavox's absence from the FComm position resulted in yet another governmental
scandal. Although BCO of OP42 Paula Kirk was originally ordered to
take over as Acting FComm, new PM Stadt has replaced her with Captain John
Phelps . Meanwhile, the XO of the flagship HMS Athena, B.J.
Phillips, has also claimed the right to the FComm slot, since Athena
CO Charles Robinson is deathly ill and a kook. Olympic CO
Alexander Cadogan has also laid claim to the position, resulting in four
(4) different people all trying to fit into one office. OP42 CSS
Lt. Stoek has discovered information that suggest that the bomb was in
fact intended for Kavox, but AFComm Robinson's only coherent statement
in recent days was for Stoek to hold back his evidence for the time being.
Further investigation is being conducted by the crew of the HMS Olympic
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Fleet Four nameless
no more -- just a bit confused
SNN CENTRE, FLEET STREET, LONDON -- SNN announces
the winner of the Fleet Four Name-a-Fleet Contest! Thank you to everyone
who participated. In the end, the final winner was Nameless Ensign
No. 007, with the name of 'The "Force"ful
Fleet.' (Yet another LucasFilm lawsuit.) Mr 007
wins an all-expense paid trip to the new Club Med at Rura Penthe.
Culled from the pool of prospective names, however, are these gems that
didn't quite make it:
Top Ten Alternate Names for
Fleet Four
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#10: Fleet o' Foot (Michael Kosteva)
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#9: Zuchini Alpha (Mark Wilson -- yes, his medication was a little
late that day)
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#8: The Last, Best Fleet (Michael Kosteva)
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#007: Her Majesty's Secret Fleet
(The WeBBsights editorial staff)
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#6: A Ragtag Fleet of Ships (Michael Kosteva -- see a pattern developing?)
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#5: The Work Horse Fleet (Matt Agee)
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#4: The Sword of STF (Guess who? Michael Kosteva)
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#3: Zeta Fleet (Jeff Field)
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#2: The Crag-Mired Fleet (Deanne Morgan)
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and #1: Commodore Field's Lonely Hearts Club Fleet (Michael Kosteva,
who else?)
MicroNews
by Trump, Daffy Trump, SNN Society Editor
WeBBmaster Mike Bourdaa has announced that ship rosters are now
available without logging in. The base page is http://www/star-fleet.com/cgi-bin/WeBB/View.pl.
From there, add the name of the ship and fleet like so: ?shipname=USS+Dresden&fleetname=Third+Fleet.
Bases use the same system. You can also access a ship using its num
code, which is its fleet number followed by ship number, so the Alliance
would be ?num=403.
The numbers are currently listed on the Main MOTD.
The Nameless Ensigns' Weekly Standard, in its special Municipal
Bond Issue, reported that Cyrano Jones expects to be finished picking
up the tribbles on Deep Space Station K-007
sometime late next year, around when the Long Island Expressway is scheduled
for completion.
This Day in History: In 1968,
Starfleet officers from the HMS Enterprise nearly destroyed Earth
by interfering with alien operative Gary 007,
who was endeavouring to avert a nuclear accident that would have started
World War III prematurely. Way to go, Mr Kirk, James Kirk!
The Fleet Four Quote War has ended, with the Ares and Independence
conceding that the Alliance is the one and only "Quotable Ship."
Ally CO William Bligh insists that there is no remaining animosity
against either enemy crew, except for those who serve aboard the Ares
and Independence.
Fleet Three's post war continues with Her Majesty's Royal Outpost 42 taking
the lead from the HMS Brooklyn. Brooky GM Colin Wyers
has denied allegations that he had the ship destroyed simply to benefit
OP42's chances.
Captain Larry Garfield has proposed a map for the Federation, including
general operating regions for each fleet. The proposal started as
a reference for Garfield and Commodore Jeff Field while planning
the end of the Crag War, but has been formalized and is now being submitted
to the general membership for feedback. The map is accessible through
Packrat
Central.
If you were listening to KNST (93.3333 on your subspace dial) last
week, you undoubtedly heard the new hit by D.J. Omnipresent a.k.a. Jeff
Field and his Exploding Barnyard Phunk-Fest, 'Can't Get 2 Much of Ewe,'
off of their seventh album, 'Farmer Kaczynski Goes Shopping.' The
Phunk-Fest band is rumoured to be planning a seven-week Continental tour
with fellow barnyard band Sheep Trick.
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STF*Prodigy News-in-Brief
SNN CENTRE, FLEET STREET, LONDON-- All's quiet.
SNN UPDATE turned 50 issues last weekend with a retrospective
look at its STF*Prodigy history, followed by Issue
No 51, with all of the news of the day -- what little of it there is.
The bulk of the issue focuses on Mark Wilson, Jeff Field, and proposed
bad stuff for the HMS Aurora.
Fleet Three -- The Coreward Fleet
by Hughes, Seamus Hughes
HMS Athena, NCC-71819:
Through the history of STF there has never been a captain as devoted and
admired as Charles Robinson, and in the history of STF, there has never
been a captain as crazy as Charles Robinson.
That's right folks! Our beloved Fleet Captain is wacko, off his rocker,
a little out of it, and looney. It appears that learning of the destruction
of the HMS Brooklyn and the fact that he had been named the acting
FComm has driven him a tad bonkers. Mr Robinson has decided to give control
of his ship to Nameless Ensign No 456, but that's not it: CSO Gavin Bishop
and Cmdr Rob Devillbis have transported over to the remnants of Starbase
117 to figure out what the heck happened. Meanwhile Dr Kat Limauge
and her army of asses (no, really. Asses, as in Assistants) have
staged a coup in Sickbay and are beginning to move on the bridge.
HMS Brooklyn, NCC-84706:
In accordance with Fleet Captain Colin Wyers' desire to remove the Trafalgar-class
from service the hard way, the Brooklyn has been able to free the
prisoners that were been held captured by the Klingon/Romulans, then blow
up the ship. While trying to free the captives, CO Seamus Hughes
and CSO Flynn were abducted by an Independence-class ship (designed
by Colin Wyers; coincidence?) called the Hopper. On board, Hughes
and Flynn miraculously made it to the transporter room where they contacted
XO Sarah Logan on the Brooky to pick them up. Hughes took command of the
Brooky and did what any self-respecting recently-kidnapped CO would do,
he became ticked off and tried to get revenge. Unfortunately, since
the ship's GM was also CO of the Hopper, (more conspiracy?), the
Hopper
turned on the Brooklyn and destroyed it in one swift stroke [Uh-oh,
there's LucasFilm again! --Ed.]. Hughes and company were beamed
off the ship just in time by the HMS Starlight and HMS Darwin.
The crew then received a secret communiqué, from ex-FComm Kavox
via Acting FComm John Phelps, asking them to steal the HMS Boston,
another Trafalgar ship, from the ship yards near what used to be
SB117 and go after the Hopper. Like any good Starfleet crew
would do when faced with orders from a deposed and likely criminal FComm,
they accepted.
HMS Dresden, NCC-1837-B:
It is a proven fact that a ship dies when a captain takes a leave of absence.
This is most true for the HMS Dresden. Captain Franco Torres took
a little vacation and when he came back he found that only three officers
remained (the rest had been sucked out an airlock). To top that off,
the three officers -- XO Sarah Black, CMO Kat Blue, and CSO Seamus Hughes
-- decided to have a dinner party with a bunch of Klingons. What this has
to do with the Fleet-wide RPG, or for that matter any RPG is still under
investigation by Starfleet Intelligence [Boy, that's an oxymoron --Ed.].
HMS Olympic, NX-80000:
The HMS Olympic is investigating evidence on Earth that would free
FComm Kavox. The ship is currently orbiting Earth waiting for approval
to send a team down. CO Alexander Cadogan still thinks he is the
Acting FComm, even though John Phelps has taken that spot. A special welcome
back goes out to new XO Suzan Isik, yet another former STFer who has rejoined
the organization.
HMS Concorde, NCC-97123-B:
The Captain is on board, but the RPG is not. Apparently, the crew have
been honouring the passing of XO Michael Kosteva, who had come back to
STF in the middle of last month and quickly moved up the ranks with hard
work and determination. Supposedly, the Concorde is also trying
to figure out who killed the Klingon ambassador.
Royal Outpost 42: While
BCO Captain Kirk (don't you love it?) and several of the command crew pay
a visit to Xia, the sponsor world to the Royal Outpost 42, an apparent
smuggling/robbery/not-nice-stuff ring has taken up operation on the station.
A few members have been arrested, but so far no conclusive evidence has
been located to press charges. Bartender Seamus Hughes was arrested
for illegal possession of a firearm while trying to break up a fight outside
Harry's House of Holosuites, an ironic situation since the reason for the
fight was that several people were plastered from the drinks at Seamus'
Irish Pub. Hughes was released by order of now-President Stadt, who
apparently owed him a favour from the Cardassian War. This action
has prompted a vocal outrage against Stadt for violating station regulations.
Stadt does not, however, appear to care, stating on the BBC yesterday that
'Seamus can stockpile heavy arms from here to Newcastle, as long as it
doesn't topple the current Labour Government.' AFComm Charles Robinson
is feeling a bit under the weather [note to Charles: a spot of Earl Grey
always seems to do the trick for me! --Ed.], and the Athena
has departed the station. Mysteriously, Commodore Kavox was removed
from the station's brig shortly prior to the Athena's departure.
Meanwhile, new Intelligence Officer Tallen has made several enemies, including
CSS Stoek, for illegally tapping into security systems for her own alternate-security
purposes. She has also been named defendant in a lawsuit from SNN
for assaulting SNN reporter Elliot Carver and destroying information he
had recorded during an interview with the station XO.
Royal Starbase No. 117:
Isn't.
Fleet Four -- The Forceful
Fleet
by Garfield, Larry Garfield
Alliance, HMS Alliance,
NCC-82396: The fake CTO Ashcroft was discovered to be the
genetically-engineered twin brother of the genetically-engineered CTO,
Oween Ashcrooft [I can just read next issue's headline now: 'LucasFilm,
Bantam Books sue STF for copyright infringement' --Ed.]. After
causing severe damage to the ship, Ashcrooft escaped in the stolen Galileo
007
shuttle. The Rolchana was destroyed, (see Headline Story)
and FComm Field was rescued before it blew up. The Alliance
is en-route to Crell to begin an exchange mission to begin the process
of enrolling the Crag into the Federation, and Commodore Field has been
reassigned to Crell's primary starbase, now renamed Royal Starbase No.
202, and the new centre of operations for Fleet Four.
Ares, HMS Ares, NCC-registry-missing-registry:
The landing party has been kidnapped by the Oceania Thought Police, with
the exception of XO Field, who was killed (1 down, 23 to go), and have
been placed on display naked in some sort of aquarium, much to the enjoyment
of NE Kenny and CSO Hughes. Meanwhile, the former XO of the late
HMS Chester has been found and brought aboard, assigned to OPS,
arrested by COS Kam Jahla, assigned as XO to replace Field, arrested along
with CE Andrew Zbikowski (that's two trips to gaol!), and assigned
as XO again. The Ares has been declared the ship with the
most redundant cross-posts in WeBB history by Her Majesty's Special Centre
for the Humane and Ethical Stoppage and Termination of Eminently Redundant,
Frequent, and Inane English-Language Discourse (H.M.S. C.H.E.S.T.E.R.F.I.E.L.D.)
Columbus, HMS Columbus,
NX-97000: The small creatures that were removed from
several crew members have been lost on the ship, however it was found that
they contained Crag, Human, and Borg DNA, as well as Borg implants.
One Borg cube has stopped for repairs, while the others has taken off for
Remus, in the Romulan Empire. The Columbus has joined up with
the remnants of the Romulan fleet to fight the first cube, while many of
the Columbus crew snuck aboard the damaged cube to try and collect
as much information as possible. They have managed to sabotage the
power system without being noticed. Meanwhile, Captain Zork (yet
another Jeff Field clone) has arrived via the Whirlwind of Lost Souls to
take command while Fleet Captain Zukk is absent.
Independence, HMS Independence,
NX-98311: The Independence, under time pressure
from approaching Romulan ships, was forced to make a daring, dashing, risky,
stupid, fool-hardy, and ultimately successful rescue attempt to bring up
the landing party on the Romulan planet. CO Brandon McKee and CMO
Matt Agee (who somehow managed to make it back to the ship, but we don't
know how) led the mission, which was able to retrieve all members of the
landing party, just in time to receive a message from Starfleet Command
to abort the mission and let the Romulans save their own government.
The Independence crew has been chosen to take over the new Royal
Starbase No. 202 in orbit of Crell, while the Independence is placed
back in the queue with the rest of the NPC ships.
Montgomery, HMS Montgomery,
NCC-84704: While waiting for reinforcements to rescue the
ship from the Crag, the Montgomery crew, which had relocated to
the Auxiliary Control Room since that was one of the only control centres
left on the ship, were attacked by Crag who kidnapped Commodore Field and
took him to the Rolchana. Lt Cmdr Murri Kep, the highest-ranking
officer left, took command and repulsed the Crag attack. Unfortunately,
the GM had smuggled aboard an antimatter bomb for just such a positive
moment, and took the opportunity to detonate it, destroying Auxilary Control.
The crew moved back to Engineering, the only control centre still in less
than 19 pieces, where they discovered that the Crag had been freed from
the Overlords and were surrendering. The HMS America arrived
to tow the Monty to DS20, and delivered the new CO and XO, Captain Jacob
Delmaron and Commander Megik, who took command of what is left of the mighty
flagship. (3 bridges, 1 Auxiliary Control Room, 1 warp core ejection,
1 crash landing, 1 captain, and a partridge in a pear tree -- batteries
not included.)
chunDab, IKC
chunDab,
NCC-registries-are-not-the-Klingon-way: STF's latest
experiment has joined up with the Federation-Klingon defence force responsible
for the Crag War. Unfortunately, they were too late, and the war
had ended before they did anything. The chunDab as also become
the first WeBB ship to have both the CO and XO be the same person, but
different characters. In case you hadn't guessed, they are both Jeff
Field.
Royal Starbase No. 202:
The Crag station has been made the new centre of operations for the Fourth
Fleet. The Independence crew have taken control of the station,
and Commodore Jeff Field has transferred to the station to recuperate from
his war experiences.
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