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Ares finally rescues crew
Ares crew uses secret weapon:
The transporter!
DIMENSION 1984 -- The USS Ares recently
made the first forward movement in its RPG in over a month. For our
readers who don't remember, the Ares flew through an anomaly in
the Romulan Neutral Zone to discover an alternate dimension in which Earth
was ruled by Big Brother of Oceania. To establish peaceful contact
with the alternate-Earth, the Ares sent an away team consisting
of CO Brennan Thomson, CSO Amanda Goldsmith, XO Jeff Field, CMO Seamus
Hughes, and Nameles Ensign Kenny. On the surface the away team was
abducted and XO Field killed. During one of the crew's several weeks
of inaction, hostage-rescue-wise, CMO Hughes actually got himself killed
to relieve the boredom. The Ares dodged Oceania ships for
a month or two while Thomson and Goldsmith were put on naked display and
then tortured before being prepped for execution. At long last, the
ship's new XO, George Calen, managed to lead an away team to the surface
which beamed in next to the prisioners and immediately beamed out with
the prisoners. In return for this daring, inventive strategy, Thomson
made Calen the Ares' new XO.
Crew still trying to beat Voyager's
mission-length record
WEIRD ANOMALY, ROMULAN NEUTRAL ZONE -- Dispite
the crew's harrowing use of traditional tactics, the Ares is still
trapped in Dimension 1984. After the prisioners were rescued, the
crew detected 42 Oceania ships headed for their position and hightailed
it for the anomaly that started this mess in the first place. It
is still en-route, as CO Thomson and CSO Goldsmith have taken to insulting
each other's gender and then complementing each other on how polite they
are to the other sex. The Oceania ships, by an odd stroke of luck,
have failed to capitalize on this distraction and are apparently waiting
until the two of them finally stop beating around the bush and finally
go out on a date [Weird anomaly in the Romulan Neutral Zone, you said?
Hey, Brennan, I know this great Italian place just down the street
from there. Tell Giovanni I sent you, he'll make things nice and easy --Ed.]. |
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Personality Focus:
Randy McCullick, the REMarkable return
BOB'S DAIRY, WISCONSIN -- Randy Edward "R.E."
McCullick is the latest in a long line of former STF dictato-, er, respected
leaders, to make a comeback. An on-and-off member of STF since
March of 1992, Randy has periodically left STF due to financial and technical
difficulties, only to later return and start yelling at people again.
Randy (along with other STFer Mike Bourdaa) was also a founding member
of STC, STF's sister club since 1992. Bourdaa founded STC on the
principle that RPing was more important than politics, a principle that
Randy found so enthralling that he became STC's first captain (President
Jim Midyette implemented similar reforms in STF in 1993.). While
at STC, Randy became a devout Bourdaaist, believing that Mike Bourdaa was
the Second Coming [Second Coming of what, he won't tell us --Ed.].
When Randy returned and was elected President in 1996, he implemented many
programs in STF which were closely modeled on concepts he had seen work
in STC. 18 months later, Randy is back yet again and currently serves
as CE on the USS Athena in Fleet Three.
Randy, 22 going on 3,000, was born Randy Dennis McCullick. He
is currently in the process of changing his middle name to "Edward."
He was named after his father, Dennis Dean McCullick, whom he really didn't
like. He is currently in the employ of the Alternate Online Losers
(AOL) company. He is also fiercely territorial. His first act
upon returning was to declare that anyone who stareted playing with or
copying his Nimitz-class starships design would learn to fear his
wrath. He was also the designer of the Wave Motion Engine, the predecessor
of Owen Townes' controversial Subspace Engine which many people feel is
a pirated WME. Randy also holds the rights to the USS Andorian,
a ship that served first in STF, then defected to STC, and now has been
removed from both clubs' legal rosters, although... [Keep reading.
--Ed.]
Fifth Fleet now a reality
STARFLEET HEADQUARTERS, SAN FRANCISCO-- In response
to the ever-growing population of STF, STF President Greg Hertzsch authorized
during an IRC meeting on Stardate 98030.7 the formation of an unprecedented
Fifth Fleet. Though not yet active, the new fleet has been added
to the WeBB listing. Hertzsch has appointed B.J. Phillips the new
FComm-5. It is expected that Phillips will take his command, the
USS Olympic from Fleet Three, with him to the new fleet to serve
as his flagship. Phillips is currently considering Larry Garfield
and Randy McCullick as AFComm, both of whom were initially considered for
the FComm position. Phillips has also expressed interest in recruiting
the USS Alliance, captained by Garfield, from Fleet Four to serve
in the new fleet. However, no decision has been made as yet.
There are also plans to reactivate the USS Andorian as the first
new ship in Fleet Five. [See? We told you to keep reading.
--Ed.]
MicroNews
by Will Yates, SNN Society Editor
Starfleet Command has issued an APB on all clones of Owen Ashcroft,
who was thought to be the CTO on the USS Alliance. Anyone
with information on any of the seven missing Owens should contact Cmdr.
Findan D'Cil at Starbase 202 immediately.
The results are in for the Fleet Three Post War for February: The USS Olympic
won Ship-of-the-Month this time around, tying the late USS Brooklyn
in the race for flagship.
SNN has recieved word that Special Persecutor, er, Prosecutor, Ben
Sol is expanding his investigation into the affairs of STF President
Greg Hertzsch. According to unnamed sources, secret isolinear
rods were delivered to Sol's office by Laura Journey, including
a conversation between Journey and her friend Starfleet Intern Nameless
Ensign-in-Training #21. In the recording, #21 tells Journey about
an alleged romantic interlude she had with Hertzsch in 2371. In a
written statement, the President's office flatly denies that Hertzsch had
an affair with #21. #21 is currently a graduate student at Pakled
University. Her advisor, Professor Citnamor Toidi, had this
to say about his experiences with #21: "Hertzsch would not be enough
to make her go. She wants someone who is strong. Can you help
her? Are you strong?" Stay tuned to SNN for the latest classified
developments.
Spring -- the time when an STFer's fancy turns to love. Well, we're not
quite out of winter yet, so these two are jumping the gun by a little bit:
Lt. T'Nira Toke has married Lt. Eston Freeman in the first
STF matrimony since the Jim Midyette-Malinda Marshall nuptials in 1992.
Sources close to their GM say that "Mr. Wyers has decided not to kill the
two newlyweds, because of that goshdarn clause in new Aticles of Organization
that says it is illegal to kill characters with families. Ships and
their bridges are okay, settlements with civilians, daycare centers, the
whole works . . . just not characters. . . ." In completely unrelated news,
the Boston's crew is having a drunken-speaking party, all the guest
must speak drunken talk in order to be spared years of harrassment by fellow
crewmembers.
Trek Trivia
Email all trivia answers to The
Editors. Be sure to sign your name, rank, ship, and fleet. Top 3 winners
get their names printed in the next issue!
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When was the only mention of a dreadnought in the Star Trek TV shows or
movies, and what was the ship?
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What is the only Fleet Three ship which has had the same CO since it was
first comissioned?
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What member of the WeBB was the first to sign on who had never served on
STF*P?
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What is the only ship name on the WeBB to be used two different times for
two completely different ships?
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STF*Prodigy News-in-Brief
SNN CENTER, CHICAGO -- While the WeBB's Ares
shows remarkable signs of life, two STF ships -- the Ark Angel and
the Aurora, which together make up Fleet One, seem to be falling
into the doldrums vacated by Captain Brennan's intrepid crew. In fact,
all RPGs in STF*Prodigy are winding down, as the sole F2 ship, the Victorious,
may be in the process of taking on a new mission. In Command news, STF
President Greg Hertzsch has published, in the Internet Department subject,
a chronology of STF's expansion to the Internet.
Fleet Three -- The Coreward Fleet
by Seamus Hughes
USS Athena, NCC-71819:
Reports of USS Athena mass-AWOLs were greatly exaggerated; this
crazy-captain ship is still going strong. The latest reports from
the front: CO Robinson is still crazy, and XO Phillips has stepped
up to take command of the Athena. Phillips has ordered the
Olympic to stand down and prepare to be boarded. Although
some members of the crew were concerned that Phillips wouldn't really attack
because he and the Olympic's captain, Alexander Cadogan, share a
common soul, Phillips has assured the crew that the Athena would
capture the Olympic renegades or die trying. It is uncertain
if GMDir Colin Wyers heard this statement, because if he did there may
be trouble.
USS Brooklyn, NCC-84706:
Sisko bless those mind-control devices. An ensign with a mind-control
device attached to his neck has started some trouble. A USS Boston
officer was able to lock out controls with the help of Romulan codes, but
the smart (yet for some reason anonymous) CE was able to kick the codes
out. Then the unknown ensign planted a bomb in acting-Captain Perry's
ready room, killing the loveable, cute, smart officer whom we've all grown
to love. The Brooky has now set a record for the quickest killing
of two Captains on one ship ever. Beat that, USS Dresden! The mysterious
ensign then decided that his life must end, preferably with the aid of
a Romulan disruptor.
Upon reading that last bit, the Federation Bureau of Investigations sent
two special agents ("M" and "S") to investigate what any of the preceeding
has to do with the original RPG of finding the USS Hopper.
"M," in classified documents released on Tuesday by Ensign Cob Woodstein
of the Nameless Ensigns' Weekly Standard, expressed hopes that someone
will sort out this confused ship. In the interim, the Boston has
reportedly fired on the now-decloaked Hopper, crippling it severely.
The fate of the Hopper now rests on the twin brother of deceased
Captain Seamus Hughes, Captain Seamus Hughes. In their weekly report to
the F.B.I., also leaked to Ensign Woodstein, "M" contended that the Boston
crew's behavior exhibited signs of extraterrestrial influence, while "S,"
according to Woodstein's account, said: "Well, duh, 'M,' of course there's
alien influence, half the crew is either Vulcan or Betazoid or some other
nonhuman race." "M" was quoted as rejoining, "So you agree with me then?
I'll bet there's a conspiracy behind this alien infiltration of Starfleet,
too!" The F.B.I. would neither confirm nor deny the leaked material, adding
later on that the Boston was in the vicinity of swamp gas, and that
the abovequoted interchange did not, repeat, not happen. Pakled
University scientists are as we speak trying to determine just what swamp
gas has to do with subspace transmissions. No luck yet, just several investigations.
USS Concorde, NCC-97123-B:
On the sixth day Mike Bourdaa looked at STF and said "This is good."
On the seventh day Mike Bourdaa looked at STF, and said "I think I'll screw
up the Concorde's roster." The complete crew roster of the Concorde
has been wiped out. In RPG-related news, the Concorde is holding
a conference among the many ship captains in Tango Fleet that have mutinied
against Tartikov. Several officers suspect that these two events
are related, however, Bourdaa could not be reached for comment.
USS Dresden, NCC-1837-B:
"Sitting here lonely hearted, being bored but don't worry the RPG's just
starting" The Dresden is still in the Neutral Zone, and yes the
Tango Task Fleet has shown up [and, to continue the Biblical references,
they've shown up in pairs, Noah-style. But you could've figured that out
yourself; everyone knows it takes two to Tango --Ed.]. After Captain
Franco Torres gave his long-winded speach on loyalty, Fleet Captain Alice
Carter decided to join Torres' renagades along with the entire fleet, expect
Tartikov's ship. Carter has ordered the Dresden to Earth with
the escort of two Romulan ships, to get the Federation Council's attention,
while she stays and fights off those pesky Romulans.
USS Olympic, NX-80000:
Owen Ashcroft has now made it has mission to screw up the Oily's mission.
Last week that Owen Ashcroft clone (when does this boy sleep?) decided
to attack the crew and hold them for some unknown reason. Now Ashcroft
has taken a different approach, namely, "Kill them all and let Sisko sort
them out." How and why this is related to getting evidence for Kavox
is still unknown, and it will likely stay that way. [It's a conspiracy!
--Ed.] In other news, B.J. Phillips, the loveable, obsessive
capain of the Oily has made it his duty to make sure no one calls his ship
the Oily, So if and when you stop by the Oily, please metion the word Oily.
[Seamus! Don't do that again or we will get mail-bombed! --Ed.]
Outpost 42: In the latest
in a string of attacks, the son of Lt. Andrew Patrell, the officer in charge
of the latest task fleet sent to stop renegade Commodore Kavox Cox, was
killed by a bomb in the station day care center. It was later found
to have been planted by the same people who tried to assassinate President
Stadt, and who turned up dead not long afterwards. Ronald Vaner,
Siddig El Fadil, and The Third Man were found killed by a Romulan disrupter,
which was later found to belong to another man on the staion who is still
at large. Meanwhile, CSS Stoek had deduced, based upon the events
up to this point, that someone inside Starfleet Intelligence, possibly
though not necessarily the Cigarette-Smoking Man, was behind the plot that
seemed to be tearing the fleet asunder. He contacted station intelligence
officer Ensign Tallen to assist him in finding further evidence, and she
rose to the challenge, declaring that her loyalties were to Starfleet and
its principles. With the help of Eng-1 Daniel Hawkins, she managed
to fake her own death; when an Intel operative arrived to remove her neural
tap implant (standard Intel procedure, and please no snickering about "Intel
Inside") she and Hawkins managed to subdue him. While taking him
to the brig, however, they were ambushed several times by other Intel operatives,
finally making their way to the brig where Tallen was serioulsy wounded
while finally stopping the assailants. Lt. Stoek arrived then with
a posse after being stranded in a sabotaged turbolift, and NSE Howser was
able to keep Tallen from dying. It is now clear that Intel is behind
the recent chaotic events. Meanwhile, Kavox himself made a flyby
of the station, at first planning to dock and turn himself in but deciding
instead to try and make it to Earth.
Fleet Four -- The Forceful Fleet
by Larry Garfield
USS Alliance, NCC-82396:
Defying Captain Bligh's offer of good will, the Seetha prisioner kidnapped
Crag Rogate Bric and beamed over to his ship. The ship then fired
on the Alliance and warped off in the direction of its home planet,
Sith. The Alliance persued and succeeded in disabling it.
An away team led by XO James Hughes, consisting of almost all the senior
staff, in proper Starfleet style, beamed over and was able to drop the
temperature, rendering the reptilian Seetha unconsious. They awoke,
however, and almost prevented the crew from taking the bridge and locating
Bric. The crew was able to beam Bric and part of the away team back
to the Alliance, but then one of the Seetha activated the ship's
auto-destruct sequence. Bligh has ordered the away team to forgo
capturing the ship and to return ASAP [what, did they take ASAP without
asking? --Ed.].
USS Ares, NCC-the-truth-is-out-here:
See Headline Story.
USS Columbus, NX-97000:
Night fell on Q's planet, resulting in several broken bones and severe
lacerations. With the help of the Q-Blondie, the Columbus
was able to return to the planet and beam the stranded crew aboard shortly
after it stopped snowing in Engineering. In other news, CO Matt Agee's
unofficial take-off on Fleet Three's post war ended with the Columbus
taking first place in February, followed by the Alliance in second
place and Starbase 202 in third. Captain Seamus Hughes, the man responsible
for Fleet Three's Post War, has accused the Columbus of plagiarism
and challenged them to a one-on-one Posting Battle against the crew of
what used to be the USS Brooklyn. Agee has accepted, citing
"ethnic pride" and a desire to "beat the tar" out of the other guy.
The Columbus was ordered to investigate a quantum singularity near
Alpha Delgaron, but when they arrived the senior officers and most of the
crew were bumped into an alternate timeline in which a Klingon/Cardassian
alliance was engaged in battle with a group of humans. Some of the
humans boarded the ship but were captured, later revealing that they needed
a new ship and the Columbus was the first to pass by the singularity.
As the weapons discharge was destablizing the singularity, the Columbus
distracted the combatants long enough to get the Klingon and Cardassian
ships to follow the Columbus away from the singularity while the
human ship made a hasty retreat.
USS Montgomery, NCC-84704:
Renegade Montgomery Captain Jacob Delmaron activated the ship's
autodestuct sequence and set it on a collision course for the Crag colony
on Trelios IV, population 800,000,000. He has also recieved reinforcements
from the Romulans in the form of a pair of warbirds, who have loaned Delmaron
some Nameless Ensigns. Meanwhile, XO Megik, CE Murri Kep, Eng-1 Lluis
Casanovas, and Kep's pet Python, Monty, armed themselves with the "food"
from the Ten-Backward replicators and set off for Auxiliary Control.
(Amongst their weaponry were such foodstuffs as: the soup de jour with
some extra jour on the side, which eats through bulkheads; the jalepeño
delight flamethrower; the sweet bread with live yeast which expands to
fill the entire chamber; and the antimatter cherry bomb pie. This
explains why the door is marked "Beware of Food.") In Auxiliary Control,
the food crusaders were able to reactivate GORBI and hot wire the computer
to disable the auto-destruct systems. They then transfered all control
away from Delmaron (though conveniently neglected to tell him this) and
sat down to try to figure out how to deal with the Romulan ships, while
Lt. Barrett captured Dr. Humphreys out of the Ready Room.
IKS chunDab: CTO S'Eamus
attempted to take command from Captain Dalk, so in true Klingon fashion
Dalk waporized [darn that GORBI spellchecker! --Ed.] him.
In response, CMO K'Peesch killed Dalk and took control. S'Eamus reappeared,
only to challenge the new CO and get slammed against the bulkhead for his
trouble. The chunDab was able to blast throught the alien
ship's cargo bay doors, but was stopped by a tractor beam, so XO Ryumyo
led an away team to the alien ship to disable the tractor beam, while S'Eamus,
tired of being insulted by the computer, executed one of the NKs in Engineering
to get the warp drive working again. The Captain and S'Eamus then
led an away team to the other side of the alien ship to disable the dampening
field which was disabling their systems. After the obligatory fight
scene, the crew decided to celebrate by dousing S'Eamus with Coke, Surge,
and Guinnis (don't ask).
Starbase 202: CMO Matt
Agee and Counselor Benni managed to destroy the Romulan warbird and steal
a shuttle which they used to reach their destination. Upon arriving
at the planet, however, they discovered that the entire population had
been evacuated due to inreasing gamma radiation. Instead of continuing
the search on the supposed destination fo the evaculated colonists, the
pair decided to return to the station to make further plans,and to try
and explain how they destroyed a Romulan warbird and stole a shuttle, both
acts of war. Acting CO Kys Freeman told them to keep it quite and
get rid of it, which they did by sending it on a remote trip into an asteroid
field. Meanwhile, the investigation into the destruction of
the USS Endevour has revealed that it was destroyed by an antimatter
bomb manufactured by Truspace Industries in orbit of Rigel II. Commodore
Jeff Field and Captian Brandon McKee had intened to take the Independence
back out to stop Montgomery Captain Jacob Delmaron, but their departure
has been delayed by the investigation.
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