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Ashton.  Come, dear Deanne, that we may journey to Deep Space 20, and be counted by the Personnel Department, as it is decreed.

N.  And so they departed Crell and riding upon an SNN runabout Steve and his pregnant wife Deanne did come upon Deep Space 20.  But the Dockmaster informed that that there was no room in the Habitat Ring, and they would have to stay in Cargo Bay 3.

Becker.  I am sorry, good Steve, but we have Crag refugees staying in the Habitat Ring.  Come, I will allow you to rest the night in the cargo bay.

N.  And it was there in yon cargo bay that Deanne did give birth to a child, and they wrapped him in swaddling clothes.  And there were in the same star system captains abiding in their fleet, keeping watch over their exploding sheep by night.  And, lo, the Orb of Prophesy came upon them, and the glory of the Prophets shone 'round them . . .

Zibby.  Hark, it is an Orb of the Prophets!

N.  . . . and they were some afraid.  But the Orb said unto them:

Choir of Nameless Ensigns.  Fear not, for behold, we bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all STFers.  For unto you is born this day on Deep Space 20 a Saviour, which is Sisko the Emissary. 

N.  And the Orb did tell them to go unto the cargo bay at Deep Space 20, and there they beheld the Sisko, son of Deanne.

Garfield.  Where is he that is born Emissary of the Prophets?  For we have seen a supernova in the East, and are come to do a Personality Focus™ on him. 

Ballway.  Oh, knock it off, Larry.  No one really reads Personality Focus™.  It's just you trying to sound important. 

Wilson.  Hey, I read Personality Focus™!

Gar.  Thank you.

Bal.  Shut up.  O Bourdaa, we are come to do an article on He unto Whom the praise of the Prophets is present.

Gar.  "Whom"? "Whom," Mike? Honestly . . . will you cut out that "whom" nonsense?  Really, does anyone really speak like that any more?  No.

Wil.  Hey, I say "whom."

Gar. and Bal.  Who asked you?

N.  Boys!  Achem, as I was saying, when Bourdaa the President had heard these things, he was troubled, and all the Cabinet with him. 

[Cabinet arguing]

Wyers.  Just cloak the ship, Treaty of Algeron be damned!

Miller.  He could be a faster poster than you, Bourdaa.  Be careful.

McCullick.  Just go AWOL for a few weeks and when you come back, maybe it will have gone away.

N.  And Bourdaa said unto the wise guys, who were still arguing about English grammar . . .

Bourdaa.  Just shut up!  No one cares whether "his" is an all-encompassing pronoun!  Now, go and find this Emissary of the Prophets, and tell me where he is.  For once you have told me of his location and what you plan to do about it, then I will approve it when it shall be done.

N.  And so the wise guys set out, following their sensor readings of the supernova, until they came upon Deep Space 20.  And when they discovered that they had had the map upside down, they were annoyed, until they realized that they had found the Sisko.  And they came upon the cargo bay and they saw the young child with Deanne his mother, and whipped out their PADDs, and interviewed him.

Gar.  How does it feel to be the Emissary of the Prophets?  What future plans do you have for your characters?

Bal.  In correct English grammar, you say "media are," right?  I only ask becuase you're the Sisko, you know these things, and Larry does not.

Wil.  Who would win in a no-holds-barred cage match: Weyoun or Gul Dukat?

N.  And when they had enough notes to do an entire Headline Story and Personality Focus™ on Him in WeBBsights, plus make fun of Him in SNN Headline News, they thanked him and presented unto him gifts: An Orb, a Buck Bokai baseball card, and a lifetime subscription to SNN UPDATE.  And being warned by a vision of the Prophets that they should not return to Bourdaa, they departed for SNN Center in Chicago, to write their articles.  And when they had gone, an Orb appeared to Steve saying . . .

NE's.  Behold!  Take the young child and his mother and flee, for President Bourdaa will seek to pass an Edict against Him.  Go unto STC and stay there, until we bid you otherwise. 

N.  And so Steve Ashton and Deanne Morgan took their son the Sisko unto STC, and there they stayed until Bourdaa was defeated in the next election.

There is a method to our casting
By Larry Garfield, Who Has the Inside Story on Everyone and Everything
You may have wondered at the casting of this Christmas Pageant.  Well, for your edification, WeBBsights has the pleasure of announcing the secret identity of the man who has been  known as "sweetie" to some and the "beau" to others.  Steve Ashton, aka "Bodger," and Deanne Morgan, aka" CaptDx2," have been going out, sort of, for three months now.  They initially met via #star-fleet nearly nine months ago, and soon began talking to each other via video-confrencing.  While STF's other recent engagees, Faith Ann Bronsing and John Storer II, knew each other outside of STF before they served together [yes, WeBBsights was wrong, at least we admit it unlike our sister publication, SNN Headline News --Ed.], Steve and Deanne never knew each other before they met on STF.  Although considered to be "dating" for some time, the pair only met in person a week ago for the Holiday season.  The happy couple spent a few days in stylish New York City earlier this week, and according to our undercover hidden microphones in Deanne's purse will be engaged any minute now, as soon as Deanne picks out a ring for Steve to give her.  SNN wishes to give the couple-to-be its best non-denominational seasonal wishes, and encourages Deanne to go for something with emeralds.

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The Twelve Days of STF Christmas
by Deanne Morgan, Who is Slowly Going Insane
TO THE TUNE OF "12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS"
On the 12th day of Christmas, STF gave me:

12 Crag a-shedding 11 Decks a-blazing 10 Sisko Temples 9 Star Trek movies 8 Jello battles 7 First Fleet players

6 Evil GMs 5 WeBB-based Fleets 4 Commodores 3 Vulcans 2 Mike Bs And a warp core ready to breach

The Tribble Song
by Deanne Morgan, Who Never Would Forget our Jewish Population
TO THE TUNE OF THE DREIDEL SONG
Tribble, tribble, tribble
You are a ball of fur
Tribble, tribble, tribble
I love to hear you purr.

Silver Crells
by Mike Ballway, Disgruntled Nameless Bob
TO THE TUNE OF "SILVER BELLS"

Just like Ewoks In the treetops On the MOTD, On this ship there's a feeling of 'Yub Nub' Like a joke that Larry gets but Never ever will we, Fleet Four's playground will always be here: Silver Crells, Silver Crells, It's Christmas time in the forest Troopers come, but they're dumb, We can kill them with our rocks.

Make a reference To a preference For the Force and beware Everything on planet's from Star Wars. Don't tell Lucas But we took his Little cute teddy bears Now they fight our star battles and sing . . . Silver Crells, Silver Crells, It's Christmas time for the Rogates, Protate's good, but Bobs should Watch out 'cause they might get socked.

Make it So
by Luke Parthmore, Guest Loony
TO THE TUNE OF "LET IT SNOW"
Oh, the vacuum outside is endless,
Unforgiving, cold, and friendless,
But still we must boldly go--
Make it so, make it so, make it so!

MicroCarols
by Peter Peterson, SNN Choirboy
SNN CENTER, CHICAGO -- Okay, we slacked off a bit, and we could only get a few verses for some of the songs. But by calling 'em "Micro-Carols," we can get undeserved credit for our laziness! Whoo-hoo! Enjoy! 

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Kris is very secretive about what he does in real life. The only clues he would tell SNN were that he owns twelve reindeer and lives at the North Pole -- and that could be anybody. Kris, obviuosly joking, told SNN that he likes STF becuase it is "so realistic compared to my everyday life." In any event, we hope Kris stays with the club and works on getting his RPing up to speed. And Kris, don't forget to recruit those Elves you were talking about, I'll bet they'd make great Ensigns.

EDITOR'S SOAPBOX
Merry Christmas, STF!
by Michael J. Ballway, SNN Executive Editor
CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO -- The past month has been a trying one both for STF and the world.

It opened with Fleet One in despair, a situation in which it is still mired. Activity in the Foremost Fleet has dropped substantially since it became the only STF*Prodigy fleet -- and even in the days of a two-Fleet STF*P, it wasn't very high. Chris Healey recently resigned, a key player in the IRC Crisis that swept through STF. Fleet Two had its own personnel crisis. STF is hardly out of the woods, with regards to controversy and scandal.

In recent weeks, the actions of the Congress and President of the United States have had international ramifications. Both the majority of STFers from the US, plus our sizable minority from Britain, Australia, Canada, Israel, and other countries, have felt the aftershocks of situations still developing in Washington, D.C. Saddam Hussein is being punished for violations of a treaty, a military operation that is questionable in some people's minds because President Clinton, architect of the air strikes, has now been impeached by the House of Representatives, and faces removal from office if the Senate votes to convict.

These are serious times for the world, and for our club. Some might look at these problems, and the myriad others that STF faces daily, and wonder if things were ever worse.

I've been with STF since late 1992, and I have been through much worse times than this. Roleplaying, over the last year, has been consistently better and quicker than I've ever seen it in STF. Our membership -- 245 on the WeBB, plus more than a dozen on Prodigy, at last count -- is at its highest since at least 1995. STF has never had this many ships, since so many of us have second characters (a phenomenon nearly unheard-of in early 1990s Prodigy).

In time such as these, we should remember the gifts that STF gives us: An escape from the troubles around us, and, unlike television, an interactive club with a network of friends around the world. A place where RPing is not a chore, but a pleasant activity. Many of us are home for the holidays, with our families and friends -- but in another sense we're always "home" to the friends we have online.

So keep on Trekkin'. The greatest gift that STF has for us -- friendship and acceptance -- is given every day, to each of us. It's the reason STF is here. And it's why we'll always be here, and always be better.