The Tribble tiredly drags himself up to the podium and looked around. Despite the short notice, the room was fairly full of all the animal captains, and various others. The Tribble cleared his throat and said, "Thank you all for convening at such short notice. This hastily convened ceremony is to induct one of our more recent captains into the animal petting zoo. After extensive research, testing, consulting, analysis and even more research, a suitable animal nickname has been found for Captain Sidney Parker. Would people please escort the victim ... errr honouree up to the podium please?"

A flurry of animal took place, with the bulldog and the wookie frightening off the other animals that wanted to escort the suddenly frightened looking Sidney Parker up to the stage. The hen, meanwhile got into a flap and began clucking her disappointment. Once the cerberus gave everyone a savage glare from each of his three heads things calmed down enough for people to see the coyote chasing the roadrunner and the koala up in a tree nibbling away at some gum leaves.

"Sidney Parker, with the powers invested in me as the Official Public Nuisance of Starfleet, I am happy to give you the animal nickname of Armadillo. Arise little armoured one and lead Fleet One and the Entente into the future ... and try not to get startled when nearby starships jump into warp, we can't afford any more road kill. Let the official record show that Sidney Parker is to now be known by the name 'Armadillo'."

"And may the lemur, the sloth, the panther, the otter, the nessie and the sea monkey have mercy on our souls."

The tribble looked around, and then said, "and now, the call of my real life is too strong to avoid ... so please, go!"

- Public Nuisance