Levi rested his forehead against the bulkhead outside of the counselors office. Normally he loved nothing more than discussing himself and was eager to begin this part of his check in process, often way over staying his allotted time. This time was different. Not because he had changed in any drastic way over the last year or had any earth shattering epiphany. Nor was his hesitation due to the counselor. Sharise had been fair, almost kind when the rest of the crew had turned against him. For the first time in Levi's life he felt an emotion completely foreign to him, remorse. The focal of his remorse was Cori. As much as he tried, he couldn't remove or block it and at moments, it over whelmed him. Since his return to the Saracen, Levi had not sought her out, but choose to wait for her.

As he he lifted his head, still facing the blank bulkhead, he raised his empty hand to move one of his blond curls from in front of his eyes, and paused holding his hand inches away from his face. The blood filled the lines and creases in his palm, overflowing onto his gold uniform and made a trail of crimson to the top of his boots. The smell of Cori's blood assaulted his olfactory senses connecting with his palate leaving a copper taste in his mouth. Closing his eyes, shaking his head, none of his former tricks would evaporate this illusion. The memory of Cori's death came and went as it pleased sometimes playing over and over until he reached the point insanity would surely consume him. Seeing her lying in her own pool of blood, dropping to his knees, barely being able to whisper her name, the pain in her bright blue beautiful eyes and then to hear her last words; "I'm going to die. I want you to know I love you". His entire being filled with rage at Lillian, every emotion returning as if it was that moment. Again and again and again.

Then the guilt and remorse came. The knowledge of the truth that Cori's death had been as much his fault as it had been Lillian's. Both of them had been so hell bent on destroying each other neither cared or had concern for who got in the cross hairs. While Levi and Lillian both went on with their lives, Cori had been condemned to a ghost of existence. He had ripped from her any hopes of a future or any sort of normalcy outside the hallways and holodecks of the Saracen. How long, he had often wondered, would she be content with this fruitless life before she wanted to extinguish what remained of the shadows that had once been a vibrant young woman with dreams and ambitions so full of life?

Sometimes, this nightmare took a darker twist. Sometimes the haunts of his sins added another punishment to his guilt and he would release her. As if killing her once was not enough, the second time had nearly pushed him over the edge to joining her. Unknowingly, Dev and his children were what anchored him to reality in those moments. No one knew how fragile Levi's mind was over his remorse of causing Cori's death. Revealing the circumstances and the truth would topple the entire house of cards and more people would be hurt.

Levi's eyes stayed focused on his bloody hand. He knew he would be unable to block Ayla Sharise from knowing he was feeling guilty over Cori's death no more than he could control his thoughts. Cori's memory simply came and went freely through his mind much the way she haunted the Saracen now. As he pressed the chime to the counselor's office, he left a smudged bloodied hand print only he could see.

Keller, CTO