: Posted by Captain Ghubari Koraia (CO) in Holodeck 1 - Side Sim
: : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Casira Meu (Helm/Science) in Holodeck 1 - Side Sim
: : : Posted by Captain Ghubari Koraia (CO) in Holodeck 1 - Side Sim
: : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Casira Meu (Helm/Science) in Holodeck 1 - Side Sim
: : : : : Posted by Captain Ghubari Koraia (CO) in Holodeck 1 - Side Sim
: : : <snips>
: : : : : : What she had told Ghubari was correct, she did not know enough variables to offer advice in the other woman's situation. She did not know Koraia's family, whether they would be kind and supportive or whether they would turn on her as Casira herself had experienced. She did not know Ghubari's friends, whether they too would offer a helping hand or would betray the CO afterwards. Society in general she knew better, but even there there could well be differences between how the two of them were viewed and how others would react to them. "All I can say with any certainty, Captain," she spoke again, her crystal voice unusually labored, as if fighting to hold back a significant tide of emotion, "is that it is possibly one of the most important decisions you will ever make in your life, and you must by no means take it lightly."
: : : : : :
: : : : : : ~Casira
: : : : :
: : : : : The dark skinned woman nodded, feeling her own emotions trying to surface. It was a strange place to be and she certainly never imagined having to make such decisions in her life. Sitting in the centre seat on the bridge was far easier than the dilemma before her now. "There is much to consider," she agreed, "and I will tread cautiously. Thank you for your honesty. It is greatly appreciated." And Ghubari was most definitely grateful and hopefully Casira wouldn't see their exchange as simply an intrusion.
: : : : :
: : : : : "I suppose I should let you get back to your program if I have not taken up all your time," Koraia commented tentatively, truly hoping she hadn't taken up all of Casira's holodeck time, but fearing that was the case. If so, would it have been worthwhile? She thought so.
: : : : :
: : : : : Captain Koraia, CO
: : : :
: : : : "No, you haven't." Casira responded, sounding a little more composed now the subject had changed. She did not bother to mention that despite the fact she had indeed booked the holodeck for a few hours and her allotted time was not close to expiring, there was little chance of her continuing now - she would never be able to focus after such a difficult conversation. It would likely take the best part of a few days for her to fully recover her focus and banish the painful thoughts. "I apologize if I have proved to be of little assistance."
: : : :
: : : : ~Casira
: : :
: : : Ghubari had once been told that she was an effortlessly strong woman. In many cases and on many days, it was true. She knew reality, hoped for the best and tackled things head on; no fear. Except that there was fear within her that she didn't dare let loose for worry that it would make her second guess her decisions and herself. She had not gotten this far in her life by being indecisive and of course her ability to make tough choices was a key trait in a captain.
: : :
: : : It didn't mean it was easy, or that the choices didn't cost her something at some point.
: : :
: : : In her current situation, a simple instinctive decision and a few steps left her standing on the edge of a canyon and regarding her future with confusion and longing. What she wanted was on the other side and in recent months she realized she had no way to get across, not alone at least. There was no transporter to simply lift her up and deposit her in safety. No, this was going to take work, and risk and trusting others.
: : :
: : : Ghubari considered Casira thoughtfully for a moment, her gold toned eyes showing the rare hint of sadness. But there was determination yet in those eyes and Ghubari felt instinctively that she was not done with this all yet. "Please, no apologies Casira. That I could talk with someone who might truly understand the dilemma I'm faced with and the implications of any choice I make has been invaluable. Others might be able to help me list the pros and cons, and give me risk assessments, but they don't understand that no matter what choice I make, it will come with a price of some kind. I am the only one who can make that choice, and pay that price, but for a moment I just needed feedback from someone who understood that. So thank you."
: : :
: : : Koraia gave a bow of her head. "I will leave you to your time. Please know that if you ever need anything, I am always available to you," she told the Caitian, very sincerely. Whether Casira ever took her up on it remained to be seen, but she still felt compelled to make the offer. Ghubari had promised herself that she wouldn't hide herself from the crew. It had taken awhile to figure out her command style, and while she was an intensely private person, she knew that the decision to seek Casira out had been the right one.
: : :
: : : Captain Koraia, CO
: :
: : Casira simply inclined her head in thanks to Ghubari's offer, before raising her short form gracefully out of her seat. A slight gesture with a hand to the bright red and white flight suit which Ghubari had donned on her entry into the simulation followed. "You will want to change back into your clothes before leaving." A logical statement...while Casira's own suit was replicated, Ghubari's was nothing more than a holographic construct, and stepping out of the holodeck into the rest of the ship when one's covering was made up exclusively of photons was perhaps not the best way to preserve dignity. The Caitian raised her head once more and spoke into the latticework of grey metal above them: "Computer, privacy screen, two meters in length and height, covering the forward port corner of the holodeck."
: :
: : ~Casira
:
: OOC: Ha! I forgot she was still in the flight suit. :P And I have to say how much i've enjoyed this thread! :)

(OOC: Yeah it's gone really well, thanks^^)

: IC:
: "Good idea," Ghubari replied with a hint of amusement. She slipped behind the screen and quickly donned on her uniform. A few moments later, the captain emerged looking much as she had when she stepped into the holodeck, but much less anxious and still very thoughtful. "Enjoy the rest of your day Casira, and thank you once again for being willing to talk to me about my concerns. My offer is always open."
:
: The half-Napean gave a bow of her head and walked out of the holodeck, her movements slightly awkward.
:
: Captain Koraia, CO

The Caitian waited until the doors hissed shut behind the CO, statuesque and immobile as ever...

...then, the moment Koraia had left, she bowed her head to her chest, letting out a long and emotional sigh as her shoulders began to shake. The discussion had brought back memories which she had been trying to hide from - distract herself from - ever since she came aboard, and to have them dragged up in her face once more was a very painful and traumatic experience. Once more she tried to force them back down, back into the shadowy void from which they had surfaced, but she could not help the tears which pooled and hung like dewdrops on her long whiskers before cascading like diamonds to the floor.

There was a certain amount of fear in the air as well...fear at lowering her shields to the Captain, leaving her feeling distinctly defenseless should any onslaught upon her follow. But strangely enough, this feeling was not so strong as it had been in the past with other individuals. As she had noted earlier she had been impressed that Ghubari had (apparently) approached her without preconception, not judging her before their meeting and making up opinions without first collecting the facts. It was the first time she had experienced this since the accident, and while she could still not be absolutely certain as to whether the other woman was genuine, it was certainly a welcome approach. It was what she had been searching for after all - she had come to the Athena in the hope of being accepted simply for what she was, without the accusations and comparisons of home, and perhaps finally she had found just one person who might be prepared to do that. It was too early to say, and she could not just blindly trust that this was the case, but there was at least a small hint of hope that maybe it would prove true.

After a moment to regain her composure, she raised her head again and squared her shoulders. "Computer, end program and cancel the remainder of the current reservation, mark the holodeck as free from this point on." No, she couldn't carry on with her simulation right now, she would have to take some time to recover and compute the experience before she could focus on anything else. But one thing was certain - this meeting was a very profound one, one which could perhaps have consequences in the future. Quite what those consequences really were, she would have to wait and see...

~Casira