: Posted by Commander Carmen Delphia (XO) in COS' Quarters
: : Posted by Lieutenant Joe Milligan (Chief of Security) in COS' Quarters
: : : Posted by Commander Carmen Delphia (XO) in COS' Quarters
: : : : Posted by Lieutenant Joe Milligan (Chief of Security) in COS' Quarters
: : : : : Posted by Commander Carmen Delphia (XO) in COS' Quarters
: : : <snip>
: : : : : Carmen opened her eyes again and looked directly at Joe. "I was lucky to be alive but I didn't see it that way for quite awhile. I was on medical leave for four months before I returned to duty, but they decided to remove me from field work, and I certainly didn't object. They sent me to HQ and I became a trainer, and that's what I did happily till they sent me here." There were many things she didn't say, that she wasn't able to or couldn't bear to. She didn't talk about Remman Tordahl and his rather gleeful conversations with her, where he almost begged her to keep quiet so he could keep going. How he understood psychology as well as Carmen did and was quite willing to use it. How he guessed about Marcus in a vague sense and used that too. She didn't tell him about the pressure point bruises that covered her body and how the smallest sip of water she was given burned her throat. That on the seventh day, he made her stand up after being retrained for those days before and that her muscles hurt so badly she couldn't, which amused him greatly as she was collapsed on the floor on her knees at his feet. No, she didn't tell Joe this stuff, because much of the time she had accepted that it happened and pushed it to the back of her mind where it belonged. But this whole thing with Narima and the Syndicate brought all those fears to the forefront and terrified her.
: : : : :
: : : : : Commander Delphia, XO
: : : :
: : : : Joe had listened intently . He'd taken in every syllable of what Carmen had to say. His hand tightened around the shot glass on the table as he listened. His knuckles turning white as he imagined the joy of what it would feel like to have this man who'd hurt Carm in a room alone for just an hour or three.
: : : : He looked down then and seeing his knuckles willed himself to relax them . The thought flew across his mind. He'd told Carmen he loved her hadn't he? He often didn't say things he should say. He usually just said the more anti-social things which came into his mind. Then he began to get angry again. He could feel it rise in him . Things were starting to add up. When she finished Joe looked at her and said in a no-nonsense tone of voice .
: : :
: : : His anger was easy to pick up, and even if she hadn't been empathic, Carmen was too well trained to ignore the clear physical signs, though she knew Joe was reigning it all it.
: : :
: : : : "You're a sleeper aren't you Carm?You're still working for them? Intel ? More to the point they're still using you. You've been out here all this time looking normal and boring and now well . Now when no one is looking they're going to throw you back in the pool with the sharks and hope the sharks don't notice that you're a nice juicy sirloin?"
: : : :
: : : : Lt. Joe Milligan COS
: : :
: : : Carmen blinked at him, thrown off guard for a moment. Really? After all that, all she revealed, that's what he thought? She rolled her eyes. "Seriously Joe? Are you kidding me? Gods no. I'm not with Intell anymore, which is why I question why the hell they want me to do this Op. If it weren't for Narima and her daughter, I would laugh at them and tell them to get the hell away from me, fathers or no fathers." And she was very serious too!
: : :
: : : She sighed. "Joe, when I got caught, when I went through… that, I was an adult, with the ability to make a decision after weighing all the consequences. I chose to serve in Intel and I could have said no to that last mission, but I didn't. Kiani is what, 18 now? 18 Joe! She's been with them for months. I don't know if you've met her before but she's very pretty, like her mother. Imagine what a girl like that might go through with those who deem her mother as a possibly dangerous element…"
: : :
: : : Commander Delphia, XO
: :
: : Joe growled. "Like I said. They know you and know you won't say no. So they don't think anything of putting you in danger. Carm you never got yourself into this. A bunch of other people caused this situation. AAAAAGH! " Joe said, waving his hand and finally losing his temper he jumped up from the sofa and moved across the room to a small window where he stood looking out. Finally sighing he said ,"Carm you're a gonna do what you wanna do no matter how much it hurts others. And I have to tell ya sometimes I wonder if you can tell an Irishman from a pink pony let alone be more sensitive to others emotions than the average human."
:
: 'No matter how much it hurts others.' Was that what he really thought? Yes, she could sense that much, that he believed his words. And she was sensitive to emotions, but… yes, she had had to learn to push them away and not put her energy into them for fear of being lost in them when she needed to be focused.
:
: : Joe looked out the window biting his lip trying to imagine his world without Carmen . Finally manning up as he sighed deep and turned he asked ,"So what is it you want of me? Because other than standing by in the next room and hoping you don't come to an abrupt end I can't figure it out. "
: :
: : Lt. Joe Milligan. COS
:
: Carmen watched him, feeling both their hurts and feeling her eyes stinging with tears. She was good at doing the brave thing, about not letting her true emotions show unnecessarily (at least in her mind), but this was Joe. He loved her and she loved him and it should be simple. But it wasn't, oh, it wasn't. Her deep blue eyes gazed at him intently, shining with tears. "I came here because there isn't all that many people I care deeply enough to tell my secrets Joe." She rose and moved over to him, her eyes never leaving him. She paused, feeling her compose falter.
:
: Reaching a hand out, Carmen lay it on the side of Joe's face. "I told you earlier that I was terrified of doing this, and now you know why. This isn't the same as then, /I'm/ not the same. It'll be okay, but… I don't want to feel alone in this. Max accused me of holding on to my anger, but that's the one thing I tend to show easily. I can't show fear… people need me to be strong. I just want to know that in moments when I can't be, there is someone to be there for me. I believe you're that person Joe, but if you're not, you better tell me, because I love you too much already, and if we're not on the same page here, I need to know now."
:
: Commander Delphia, XO

The side of Joes mouth twitched as all his anger left him and he wondered how she did that . He kicked himself screaming in his head, 'stupid , stupid , stupid. all she wanted was a shoulder and you gave her the end of your boot!'
"Aaaagh .. shut the hell up." Joe said pulling Carmen to him . Holding her close he looked into those eyes of hers and felt the feeling almost of falling. "The day I don't have your cute backside is the day I stop drinking whiskey and they flush me out a garbage chute or a torpedo tube Missy." he said in a mock rough tone. Then in a softer tone he said ,"Carm you know I'm always there for you. I may not like the places you put yourself into but I'll be there for you if it all goes bad. "

Lt. Joe Milligan COS .. did Joe just get soft?