: Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Ardana Hobb (CNS) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Posted by Lt. Cmdr. Lana Zazuri (XO) in CNS Office - Lana's Arrival Psych Eval
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana tilted her head for a moment then smiled. "Sure. I'll go with coffee, two sugars and two creamers," she said to the Councilor. "I wonder how many of the crew aboard ship have pets," she mused to herself and the Councilor. "Ships like this can spend a long time out in the black, sometimes totally out of touch for stretches of time."
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana Zazuri
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "Oh, you'd be surprised. Many have pets, mostly the singles." she said and put down two cups of coffee in front of them. "have you ever had pets?" she asked.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "Do fellow cadets count," she asked. "I had a roommate in the Academy that I thought was going to get us docked on our daily inspections all the time. Anyway... no. I've thought about getting a dog, or maybe a cat since a lot of people seem to favor them," Lana said, sounding a little distracted as though running the idea through her mind again.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "Well, cats are much more self sufficient, that's why. So how are you settlong in?" Ardana asked amiably.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "Ah," she said. "Well, so far it's been a little busy. I'm afraid that this is my first run at a command post. I suppose it's not a whole lot different than running a department, but just... more options, orders, reports, and responsibilities, up and down the chain," she said.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Ardana nodded. "Yes indeed. And then there's the crew evaluations, promotion evaluations, progress evaluations, reading through disciplinary reports... all of which you'll be doing with me on a weekly basis, since the two of us are responsible for the crew and the organisation of the crew on the ship. I recommend, you decide. And there is a long list of to do's already waiting for us, all those crew evaluations haven't been done in a while and I got many crew requsts on my desk for various things that have to be decided upon." she smiled, rolling her eyes.
: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "It'll be a lot of work, but first, is there anything you want to talk to me about, as your counselor now, not as your colleague?" she asked warmly.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana paused for a moment, then looked up at Ardana. "Actually... there is something. I dunno if you've looked over my file yet in detail or not. I was married at one point, when serving aboard another Discovery class. My husband was security. He was doing an experiment with a torpedo in one of the torpedo bays, mostly fiddling with its yield capacity. There was apparently a catastrophic failure in the safety system, and the torpedo detonated. Killed him instantly and almost crippled the ship."
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : The trill woman paused a moment as she clenched one fist in a white knuckle grip, reliving that terrible day for a few moments. "That was ten years ago," she said as she got a handle on herself. "I guess that I'm still dealing with it. It still sneaks up on me at times. I was in Sickbay doing my arrival checkup when Neela's kids came bursting through the door. That didn't bother me at all, but then there was the thought of children of my own. That's an issue in and of itself, and then there's the fact that Landon and I talked so much about having kids. For a minute it was all I could think of, and the whole thing was like a really hard kick to the solar plexus."
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana fought not to hunch over, though she did slump some, and it was clear that the wind was gone from her sails. Were her eyes brimming with tears? Maybe... not that she would admit it, at least for now.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "How and how long have you mourned him cried for him?" Ardana said softly.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : "It's been ten years," she said, before taking a deep breath, gathering herself. She let it out in a huff before seeming somewhat better. "For the most part I'm fine. I've moved on and I'm happy. Some days though some little thing sneaks up out of nowhere and hits me in the gut, like Neela and her family. There have been a couple other special people since then. But for those people we truly care about, the memory sticks with us for a long, long time." Lana fell silent, letting those last few words hang heavy in the air.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : Ardana smiled. "You didnt answer my question. After his death, have you actually mourned for him?" she asked kindly. Time again she found it amazing how other species didn't have a real concept for mourning their dead. It was very different on Denobula. Like all feelings, also grief was lived excessively and openly and showing weakness was not a sign of weakness as it was in so many other cultures.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : "You asked 'How long have you mourned for him?' as though it were still ongoing," Lana said. "In some ways I still do, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean in the sense of the word. Just for clarity's sake, can you elaborate?" Her tone was open, not confrontational, but it was clear she didn't want misinterpretation or misunderstanding to be an issue, especially with someone she was going to be working with very closely. She already had taken a bit of a liking to Ardana, and she hoped things would stay that way.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : Ardana nodded. "You see, most species are conditioned not to show weakness by crying for example. They reason the death of a loved one away and after some time think they are over it. But in truth they have just burried their grief deep within them. That is not healthy. It has to come out before you can actually heal and then you can move on. So my question really is, whether you have allowed yourself to feel the grief, to let it come out. Because it is one of the hardest things to do to let that happen, since it hurts very much indeed and every living being has an inbuilt mechanism to avoid getting hurt. In some ways it`s a paradoxon. YOu have to allow the hurt in order to heal." she said.
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: : : : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : : : Lana frowned a little and her head and shoulders drop. "For a while it felt like that's all I did. I took a leave from Starfleet because of it. My counselors used to say 'The only way out, is through.' It's true, I suppose. Things still sneak up from time to time," she murmured, before straightening up. "You know... I don't miss him as much as I used to. Hardly at all sometimes. It kinda feels a little like a betrayal to say that, but... it's the truth."
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: : : : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : : : Ardana smiled. "Well that is good then. And don`t feel like you are betraying that person. It is normal to not always miss him, likewise it is normal to have certain moments where it all comes back for a while and you miss him very much. But those moments do become rarer over time. Believe me, I know all about it." she said, and her smile became a bit sad.
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: : : : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : : : Lana nodded then smiled back, staying quiet for a little bit as she thought back over the conversation in Sickbay a little bit. "I don't like getting blindsided. But it's good sometimes. Bit of a reality check, you know? When I came aboard the Europa, I thought that every corridor and hallway might remind me of Landon. At least the bridge. But it's become another ship, which is good, I suppose. It's not the Clarke," she said, then smiled more.
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: : : : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : : : Ardana simply nodded with a smile. Oh how well she understood. On how many ships had she served? She didn`t know anymore. Even forgot some of the names. It was sometimes all a blurr in her head. Was she getting old? Surely not.
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: : : : : : : : : - Ardana Hobb
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: : : : : : : : Lana scoffed lightly, mostly at herself before smiling more. "You know I never expected anything like Landon to ever happen to me. One minute I was a cadet fresh out of the academy, then an ensign assigned to one of the smaller ships. I didn't expect to get swept off my feet by one of my crewmates, and wind up marrying him within a year. Most of the time we Trill don't look for romantic entanglements. They're just a little immature and petty, or at least that's how a lot of Trill look at things. With Landon it felt different. It was like finding a part of myself that was missing. I didn't even know it was missing, and then... bang. That piece was missing again. There's an old earth saying I heard once that I think is good for this though," she said with a wry smile. " 'Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.' And hold onto that as long as you can, I would add," she said.
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: : : : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : : : "That`s a very nice saying. I`m curious, how many hosts has your symbiont had before, and who have they been? Have you already done the Zianthara ritual?"
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: : : : : : : Ardana Hobb
: : : : : :
: : : : : : "I'm not a Joined Trill," she said simply. "I passed selection, but I wasn't actually selected. I thought I had mentioned that already." The woman wore a befuddled expression for a moment before shrugging it off. "Oh well, we've been busy. "
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: : : : : : Lana, XO
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: : : : : "I see. I guess I`m just curious becasue among my closest friends are many Trill in fact. Anyway. Is there anything else I can do for you, or about which you would like to talk?"
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: : : : : - Ardana Hobb
: : : :
: : : : "Not at this time. We'll have to catch up in a little while," Lana said with a small smile. "We do need to schedule evaluations though."
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: : : : Lana, XO
: : :
: : : "Yes indeed." Ardana said and went over to her desk to get a PADD. "Which time in the week would be most convenient for you for the crew evaluations? We could combine it with breakfast maybe, in your office?" Ardana suggested.
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: : : - Ardana Hobb
: :
: : "Perfectly," Lana said, then blew a stray lock of hair out of her face with a sigh. "I'm to be taking second watch, with our captain taking first watch on the bridge. My duty rotation doesn't officially start until sixteen hundred hours but I'm usually up and about by ten or eleven hundred. I'm on-call though twenty four hours a day though. How early would you want to start?"
: :
: : Lana, XO
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: "1100 is fine by me. Shall we start tomorrow?" Ardana asked, happy about the efficiency with which the new XO was working with.
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: - Ardana Hobb

"Let's make it brunch and that would be perfect," Lana said with a smile. She was a little surprised at how easy things were going, and she was surprised at the counselor herself. From the interview and the conversation they'd had, Ardana was capable, and efficient, and she was a pleasure to talk to. Lana hadn't expected to need counseling so quickly and the woman had handled that with remarkable aplomb. Lana herself was pretty resilient mentally, but it never hurt to work through something like that.

Ardana's attention to the needs of the crew was evident, as was her flexibility in her schedule. It seemed she didn't have a lot of rigidity there, which Lana was thankful for. She just hoped evaluations would be just as smooth. It seemed the previous XO had slacked off, from what she'd heard. Lana wasn't the type to be a heavy-handed disciplinarian, but neither was she a pushover. However, from what she'd seen of the crew so far, she was fairly sure that they were of little trouble and quite a fine crew.

"Well, I suppose that's it for business for now," Lana said. "Unfortunately I've got other stops to make. Is there anything else that needs to be handled or discussed before I call for an evacuation from the jungle," the XO said, gesturing at the plants filling the office.

Lana, XO