Posted by Lieutenant Commander Janusz Korczak (Counselor) in CNS Office - Onboarding Exam (TAG Cadet Bennet)

Posted by Cadet Catt Beñnet (Scientist) in CNS Office - Onboarding Exam (TAG Cadet Bennet)
OOC: Qua-pla thr Klingons cried for this thread is pruned. SNIP

Korczak listened intently as the young Cadet spoke. Unlike most Counselors or mental health professionals, Korczak took no notes as the discussion progressed. He simply listened and watched the speaker. In this case, he took specific mental note of the body language, the cadence of speech, the tone, and the choice of words and phrases. As the Cadet concluded and handed back the PaDD, Korczak took it and, setting aside, said “All Academy ships have Counselors on board full time. That is one of the priorities of the division, actually. Making sure that all of those who seek shipboard assignments are suitable to the task.” And he looked at her again, his face plain and expressionless. “You said that the Federation failed your colony, and you specifically. Can you tell me what happened?”

Korczak, CNS

Catt sighed, as her tail spawned and tried to escape.

“McHenriys world was a mining colony. Heavy metals and radioactives. It was administrated by the founders family. Like most colonies it was a one way journey in a older ship. On landing the ship because the power, water treatment and administrative headquarters. The McHenries were human but they chose mostly non-humans as colonists.
Old Man Mc Henery thought all groupings of various races would work best for some reason. “,

Jer tail escaped at that moment so she paused long enough to secure it again.

“The ship was also the warehouse. So when the power supply went there wasn’t much left. What was left was toxic coolant and oil contaminated. But our meager farms were intact but the lack of power meant the automated systems failed. We were minors and their children nobody knew how to grow food by hand.”,

She whispered getting quieter as she spoke.

“There was a routine Starfleet patrol due in two months. So a rationing plan was devised. We could last that long but there wouldn’t be anything uncontaminated after that.”.

And she paused to clear her tear ducts her tone having gone flat and unemotional.

“The patrol didn’t come. No distress call had been sent ad the only communication gear had been on the ship. The different broke into factions. My parents refused to defend themselves. They died like proper Caitans should. Civilized unto death.”

And she fell quiet for about 10 heartbeats. Her tail once again loose but hanging limp.

“I ran. I hid and what was left of the colony burned. By the time it grew quiet there was a handful of human children and myself alive.”,

And she looked up angry eyes locking on a spot on the walls.

“Robotic freighters came beamed up the ore and left. We put messages but there was nobody to read them. Starfleet never came. Two years later we were all sick weak and mostly starved.
A savage pack of feral children living on local fauna and flora. Star fleet never came but the oripns did.

And she sat there and let out a loud bteath.
“I didn’t know Orions could be kind. But they saved us. Tried to fix us then Sold us back to the Federation. I hated the Federaton. But it was a childish hate and unsustainable. So sir I was adopted by a human family and they named me.”

Cadet Catt Bennet. Sciences

Korczak listened and when she finished he said “Tell me about your childhood after the colony.” He face was still held the blank expression and his voice was calm and inquiring, even with his odd accent.

Korczak, CNS

Catt flicked an ear. Then the other ear.

“The Bennets were kind, patient people. I didn’t treat them as they deserved. I was hostile and acted out. They had two sons both younger than me. I had spent two years caring for children who because I didn’t know more about humans had suffered. I made no effort to get to know them.”,

And she staired at the carpet and sighed a heavy sigh.

“I didn’t fit into any schooling program that anyone had ready. I was too restless unable to trust and scared. I was hoarding food. Easily distracted. Someone had the bright idea to put me into a holographic class with a Holographic Caitan teacher.”,

Both ears went flat with a snap and her tail lashed wildly.

“I..... tried to kill the teacher. It was the first Caitan I had seen since my parents died.
I was as shocked as anyone. The Hologram just kept lecturing me on proper Caitan etiquette.
When I was to tired to scratch and bite I began to argue with it.
Caitans are a logical and peaceful people. I was none of those things. I was a uncivilized barbarian. I refused to go back to the Bennets. I didn’t trust myself. I was Feral. The Hologram had as its final arguement that day told me that…
So that was my childhood after I was returned to the Federation. Me arguing with a Holographic Caitan teacher till the people I was being overseen by thought me fit for society. “

AND her ears and tail once again under control she again sighed.

“When I met actual Caitans at the academy. I didn’t want anything to do with them. But Caitans never allow another Caitan to be solitary. They insisted on making me family.
We settled on a agreement. They did not try to touch me or include me in activities and I put up with at least two of them always being nearby. ,
So if I’m honest the academy was the only form of childhood I had. But while I grew used to the others I didn’t want to be part of their plan to all be assigned together. I arranged for my assignment to be kept secret till the day I left without saying goodbye. Which sir was to get on the shuttle for this assignment. I am actually shocked that I find myself missing them. But every thing they do or say reminds me I am not Caitan anymore. “

And she finally looked up enough to look him in his tunic if not his eyes.
“So… otherwise I’m not remarkable. I did have the highest Mark’s in martial arts of any Caitan cadet in the history of the academy. But again I’m not a proper Caitan so…”

Catt Bennet. Sciences.

Korczak looked at her intently in silence for a few moments. “So tell me… how you have dealt with your perceived shortcomings? What do you do to try and grow and develop as a sentient being, and overcome the situations and hardships you faced in the past?”

Korczak, CNS

Catt was tired her emotions had flared twice already so far.

“I have done what is rewuired sir. “,

“I put my entire self into doing it.”,

” I keep myself contained in public. “,

“But. I admit what i am. Feral and violent when i need to be. Controlled when i can be. “,

“That is what i am mentally. That is what it is your job to analyse disect and evaluate. So now is that enough? These self reflections are hard.”,

She wanted to get up and pace the room. Her veneer of civilized Caitan was wearing thin.
She was small, looked like a preteen thanks to malnutrician and toxic exposure. She was also cute and fuzzy in a way most Caitans envied thanks to the Orions.

“I am a deceptively disarming monster sir. “,

She said standing her tail tip twitching and ears flat.

“But i have learned to control myself as well as I can. My growth has been in acceptong what I am and what I am not. The Caitans are wrong. I will not heal by being properly socialized. I will never grow up to be a proper being.”,

And she once again looked up into his face.

“Because I realised. I never was the unfortunate child they wanted to rescue. I had grown up the moment that power plant exploded and I had chosen to live. The moment I realised that i had to adapt to live. The moment i realised i was going to be a captive of a reeducation program as long as I fought the system. I grew up the moment i chose to be free.”.

There was determination in her stance. A defiance botn of hardship.

“There is still Starfleet sir. I can help others. One of the things i realised was that you need a catalyst for change. Its time the Federation woke up and saw the universe from the eyes of those it failed. “,

And she tried to ralax. But she was wound up now. This was l8kely one of the times when lying would of been better. But lies, greed and false promises. Had tesulyed in who she had become. If she sounded fsnatical it wad only being true to herself. She cocked her head lookef at the officer and retracted her claws.
She had been unaware of deploying them till that moment.

Cadet Catt Bennet. Sciences.

Korczak listened intently as the young Cadet spoke, watched her body language and took note of the claw deployment and retraction. He sat with his hands folded in his lap, and was silent while he gave her a moment to compose herself. After a few moments, he slowly stood up and walked to the replicator. There he retrieved a cup of black currant and lemon tea and a glass of cool water. Walking back to his chair, he sat the water in front of Cadet Bennet and held the saucer the tea cup was setting on in one hand and slowly took a sip, all the while looking at Bennet. After a few sips, he leaned forward and set the tea down on the low table and leaned back.

Finally, he spoke. His odd accent lent a strange cadence to his words, but his tone was nonjudgmental and conveyed a sense of concern, but not pity. “Cadet. You are obviously troubled. You have endured more than most in your time. But I have concerns, and and this point I am afraid that I will need to refer you to the Academy Health Center. My duty here is a unique one. If this were a ship in the main fleet, I would have the resources and leeway to offer you counseling and therapy. Her, my goal is much more straightforward and, unfortunately, much less engaging. Quite simply, I am here to assess whether or not a Cadet is fit for duty on a star ship in the main fleet. And from what I have seen, I cannot make that recommendation at this time. I will have to speak to the Captain with regards to next steps. Be assured that I will do whatever I can to assist you and to help you. And do not think that this is some kind of final decision. As I said, I must speak to the Captain. Would you be open to sitting down with both of us to discuss the matter? Perhaps there is another avenue we could pursue with is assistance…”

Korczak, CNS

Catt sat down and taking the water drank it in one long pull.

“I likely have the largest file in the history of Cadets in the academy sir. The academy tests everything as you know. Including putting you in situations designed to find out what you fear.
But you know that.

My fear is losong control again. So when I am stressed and I have been under stress today. I can obsess about losing control. It colors everything. “,

She looked at the counsellor and sighed letting tension release.

“I think I have given you an image of who I was
Rather than who I am. If you need to speak to the Captain and you believe I am unfit to serve I will make no protest. “,

and she looked amused.

“The family group I mentioned at the academy will certainly agree with you. I’m a Caitan and I chose to be alone with aliens rather in a uncomfortable family bond where I can have no role other than little sister. “,

And she flicked an ear.

“i will make an effort to portray myself as who I am rather then as what I fear I could be sir. “

And she placed the glass down on the table and sat back properly. Wincing slightly as her tail made the seat uncomfortable.

Cadet Catt Bennet. Sciences.