Posted April 22, 2020, 1:57 p.m. by Cadet CJ Rabb (Security Officer) (Christopher Logan)
Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Chief Medical Officer) in Medical Check in
Posted by Cadet CJ Rabb (Security Officer) in Medical Check in
Posted by Lieutenant Tija Aizala (Chief Medical Officer) in Medical Check in
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻
As soon as Rabb gets back onto the ship he goes to the medical bay and checks in “Ah back here in the medical bay to check in again this is nice. I wonder where the doctor is”. As soon as Rabb goes to sit down on a medical bed.OOC: Welcome aboard! This is good start! Just two small things: 1. We always write in the past tense; just like most novels and the like. 2. To make it easier to identify who wrote what, we always sign off at the end of our posts. You can see how I do at the end of my post.
IC:
At the sound of his voice, a red-headed woman appeared from behind a console. Why she had been crouching behind it, would be anybody’s guess. Her long hair was tied back into a neat pony tail, leaving her Bajoran earring and the narrow scare along her hairline, running from her right temple to her right ear, clearly visible. There was an earnestness about her, yet she didn’t seem to be unkind. “Hello and welcome aboard. You must be one of the new cadets. I’m Lieutenant Tija, the Chief Medical Officer. I assume you’re here for your boarding evaluation?”~Lt. Tija, CMO
As he saw her, he replied “Yes Doctor I am.” As soon as he realized that the boarding evaluation isn’t gonna be that bad.
Cadet Rabb.
“Good,” the CMO replied in her usual curt, though not exactly unkind way. “Please have a seat on one of the biobeds and then tell me your name and department,” she continuned with a gesture towards the biobeds. She then picked up a PaDD and a tricorder before following Rabb to the biobed.
~Lt. Tija, CMO
As he goes to the biobed he responds to her saying “Rabb, CJ department Security”. As Rabb goes and sits on the biobed. He knows that the doctor is going to do her best with my medical record and knows that I’ve had a really hard time in my life
OOC: Hey Christoph, there are two things I’d like to point out with regard to your post. 1. we always use past tense here at STF (e.g. “he went” instead of “he goes”) just as in most novels and we also always write in 3rd person (he, she, it). You started in the 3rd person and then switched to 1st person. 2. don’t forget to sign off. My suggestion is to just read through your posts before you hit the submit butten to make sure you have signed off and used the correct tense and 3rd person consistently.
IC:
After calling up his file on the PaDD, Tija skimmed through it before asking, “Have there been any changes in your sleeping or eating habits over the past six months? Or have you had any recent illness or injuries that might not be on your file?” While she was very to the point and professional, she wasn’t unfriendly. It just seemed that she wasn’t one for small talk.OOC: As this is your character you’d be the one to provide the information what my CMO sees in your character’s medical file. :)
~Lt. Tija, CMO
OOC: Okay.
IC: “I haven’t. been eating much because of stress of me losing my family. But my sleeping has been a little off but not that often.” As Rabb answered the doctors questions he asks “Doctor. Why is my sleeping and my eating have been?” As he asks the doctor those questions.
OOC: Hey Christopher, I feel like part of the question your character is asking is missing. Could you tell me what you’re character is asking? And please don’t worry about making mistakes. We all do and I too have hit the submit button too early before and only later realized that I hadn’t actually typed everything I had meant to write. What I find helpful for that is to use the moment of signing my posts as a small break to make sure I actually did write everything and that the tense is correct (or in my case that I didn’t make typos or used wrong words).
~Silke
OOC: My character is asking why he hasn’t been sleeping or eating very well.
Christopher
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