Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Ven Miya (Chief Medical Officer) in Personal Sim - Arboretum on Deck 5

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Aaron Williams (Chief Science Officer) in Personal Sim - Arboretum on Deck 5

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Ven Miya (Chief Medical Officer) in Personal Sim - Arboretum on Deck 5
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>
OOC: No worries, take your time :-)

Hearing his name, Aaron took a few steps back and saw Miya, standing in front of the arboretum’s doors. He approached her with a smile: “Hey, how is it going ?”

Relief flooded through her as Aaron approached. “How’s it going? Well ....” she flung out one hand in a despairing gesture, then let it fall to her side as her voice trailed off, her shoulders slumped and she sighed.

Looking at her, he noticed that she might be worried about something, as he thought. Tilting his head a bit, he asked: “Is everything fine ?”

Lieutenant JG Aaron Williams

Miya gave a hollow chuckle. “Fine?” She took a few steps forward. “D’you mind if we walk while we talk? I’d rather get away from the doors. I … well, I’d prefer it if people didn’t overhear this.” Despite her intention to talk in private, she couldn’t contain her words; they overflowed like spilled springwine. “I - I can’t believe it - I’ve graduated, we’ve graduated and that’s wonderful … but I never thought I’d be made CMO! Never … I thought I’d be posted somewhere as an Ensign, but Chief Medical Officer - kosst, Aaron, it’s much too soon!” As she spoke, one hand rose to touch the lieutenant’s pips on her collar, as if checking it hadn’t been a dream.

“He-hey ! Calm down ! It’s alright”, he said, trying to reassure her. Clearly, the promotion impacted her more than he thought.
“What if … what if I mess up? Make a mistake and something goes wrong?” She blinked back tears. “I just … I don’t feel ready for this, Aaron!”

[Lieutenant JG Ven Miya, CMO - eek!]
“Look, um…” He searched for something to say. “I-I don’t feel ready too. It seems like I arrived aboard the ship yesterday, and this post is frightening me as much as you! But here I am. And people are counting on us.”

Miya took a ragged breath. Of course - you’re not the only one thrust into a new role, you silly barrowbug! At least you’re a department head in a specialism you know. Aaron’s been made Chief Science Officer! Even though doctors had to know a great deal of science to engage with their training, Miya was sure that science officers had far more in-depth and specific knowledge than medics possessed. He’s probably got his own concerns and doesn’t need to bother about yours!

I don’t know if what I’m saying is really helping, he thought. She is reminding me when I enter the…

Thinking of the day he enters the academy, something reminds him something: “You know, when…when I was at the Academy, I said to a teacher the same thing you just told me. That I wasn’t ready for… such responsibilities, that I didn’t know how to be a doctor. And this teacher told me this :

- If you don’t know you to be a doctor, then pretend to be one. Every time someone asks you something, pretend to know. Every day, pretend to know what you are doing, act like a doctor. And one day, when you’ll wake up… You won’t need to act anymore.

He paused. Waiting. And then: “Do you see what I mean ?”

Lieutenant JG Aaron Williams, CSO

She frowned, then, as the advice sunk in, she managed a trembling laugh, still feeling on the verge of tears. “You mean … I should fake it? Till I - well, till I make it, till I feel like I know what I’m doing?” It was so absurd, but it made perfect sense - sort of. “So the more I pretend to be CMO, the more I’ll eventually become one?” Miya chuckled properly, now.

“Yeah, I know”, said Aaron with a chuckle. “It sounds a bit crazy, but you don’t ‘till you try. Well, I guess so…”

“I’m not going to lie, Aaron, it sounds like crazy advice - and yet I can imagine a counsellor saying something like that! Maybe I’ll even end up saying it to someone else, in the future, wherever that future lies.” Miya sniffed back her tears, trying to smile at her friend. “So - did you try it? Did you pretend, all the way through the Academy? And did it work for you?” She was genuinely interested in his response.

[Lt JG Ven Miya, CMO, calming down]

Aaron takes a pause, thinking about what he will answer to Miya. He thought… about that day when he had to help his roommate with his studies, back in his little apartment.
He thought… about the day when he had to perform surgery in a holodeck simulation.
He thought about his parents, and his mother, who taught him medical basics.
He thought about the day he graduated.
About the Tribbles.
About his new pin.
About the ship.
About himself.

All of those thinking, those emotions flowing inside Aaron’s head, searching for an answer. He looked at Miya and said: “I don’t think I faked it. I think… I forced myself to… be me. To be what I wanted to do, not… just what I was. I don’t know if it’s really clear, but… what I mean is that you don’t have to pretend, but to have a model, one that inspires you, so that one day, you take the better part of him for yourself. But that doesn’t mean you have to stop being what you are. Not to be someone else, but to evolve.”

Lieutenant JG Aaron Williams - CSO