Counselor's office. Cdt. Rexar Omtala, Psych eval.

Posted Jan. 31, 2019, 8:24 a.m. by Lieutenant Commander Liadra (Counselor) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Liadra (Counselor) in Counselor’s office. Cdt. Rexar Omtala, Psych eval.

Posted by Cadet Rexar Omtala (Engineer) in Counselor’s office. Cdt. Rexar Omtala, Psych eval.

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Liadra (Counselor) in Counselor’s office. Cdt. Rexar Omtala, Psych eval.

Posted by Cadet Rexar Omtala (Engineer) in Counselor’s office. Cdt. Rexar Omtala, Psych eval.

(snip)

Rexar nodded rhythmically as he peered deeply into the doctor’s unyielding gaze. He hadn’t sought any answers from her, but considered whether he’d failed to realise there were questions he needed to ask. He spoke quietly, in a whisper almost yet with a strong commitment in his verse.

“Yes, Ma’am. I would welcome any insight you could share, I am here to learn.”

Leaning forward into his hands. Rexar held his head at his chin and braced himself for her opinion.

CDT. Rexar Omtala (Engineer)

Liadra leaned slightly forward meeting his body language so she could still gaze into his eyes. “Your mothers’ lives, choices and their deaths are theirs. It hurts to be the one left behind, no matter the circumstances. Please, do honour them however you need to but live your own life, not theirs. Make your own choices for you. As you get older and move through life you realize how those earlier decisions to live for others stop you from being the best you you can be. And what I do know from this meeting so far is that you a very thoughtful and intelligent person, Rexar and I suspect that you wouldn’t want to do yourself a disservice if you were made aware of it.”

Lt. Cmdr. Liadra, CNS

Rexar was still. Stolen from his chest his heart fell silent as the grip of his hands wavered against the dry skin of his face. He grasped sharply, holding in the breath he’d forgot to take while shifting back further into his seat. He straightened himself out across the chair and looked about the room to find the floral display Commander Liadra was tidying as he entered earlier on.

Was I so wrong? Can I do better? Am I more than what I’ve made myself out to be?

Scanning the plant and its form, Rexar observed it’s simple and cultured design. He was inclined to believe that what he saw before him was nothing but the product of its own genetic make-up. Yet this of course was not the case. It had been nutured, groomed, cultivated into its present state with care, dedication and a vested interest in its final outcome. The doctor obviously wanted it to look a certain way and had given it the appropriate amount of her own time and consideration for this common vegetation to be present in the surrounds of her office space. Pondering deeply on this gave him a stronger understanding of her words and allowed him to come to grips with his struggling indecision on whether his choices up until now had only been in imitation.

As silence filled the room, Liadra let it. She also didn’t try to force his eyes anywhere they were not ready to settle. For her, this moment was the most powerful one she could create, the true gift she could offer him that he may not fully understand for some time to come. People entered her office with certain expectations and yet she had none of her clients. Of course she had to reach an end point in an eval like this that had the person cleared for duty (or not as the case may be), but the how it was hers to create from what they offered her. As Rexar wrestled with the cross-roads he was just realizing he was facing, Liadra was simply there as a comforting and reliable presence, a guidepost really, as he made his own decisions.

“I wonder if that’s what they might have said.” He spoke in a gravelly, monotone voice as he sat up in the chair and faced Lt.Cmdr Liadra.

A rhetorical question. She could have answered it, with something clinical, but it was his question and his alone. And while he would never know the true answer, only his heart could find the right one.

With a long, drawn out sigh, Rexars’ tone changed back to a more familiar sound.
“Perhaps you’re right Ma’am. We’ll have to wait and see, but I will consider you words as I go on from here.”

CDT. Rexar Omtala (Engineer)

Her eyes shone warmly and Liadra nodded. “That’s all I ask,” she said softly.

“Now, I’ve seen and heard nothing that would preclude you from duty, so you are free to go. Unless you feel you want to stay and chat some more, about anything really. You are also free to come see me anytime you feel you need a sounding board, since that in the end is my job.” Liadra was not the arbiter of fates the way some people wanted to see her. When viewed that way she easily became the enemy, an obstacle. But nothing was further from the truth for the Denobulan.

OOC: I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread! Ball is n your court whether the thread end, continues, or picks up elsewhere another time. :)

Lt. Cmdr. Liadra, CNS

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