STF

Newsletter: What's Your Top Card?

Posted Feb. 15, 2021, 2:01 p.m. by Fleet Captain Adam W. (Chief EGO) (Adam W.)

Posted by Vice Admiral Sarah Hemenway (President) in Newsletter: What’s Your Top Card?
To follow on with my contribution in the STF Newsletter this month, here are some more details about the personality types that come from considering the most difficult thing for you to put up with. For me, I think my ranking goes like this, from most difficult to least:

  1. Rejection and hassles
  2. Criticism and ridicule
  3. Meaninglessness and unimportance
  4. Stress and pain

I hope to hear from some other people about what you find the most difficult so that we can all use that information to better communicate with and support one another.


If you chose “rejection and hassles”

Your personality type is Pleasing.

At your worst, you may:

  • Be too apologetic.
  • Have difficulty taking a stand.
  • Not ask others what pleases them and then feel resentful when they aren’t pleased.
  • Be distrustful and easily hurt.
  • Not say what you want.
  • Say yes when you want to say no.

At your best, you may:

  • Be considerate and sensitive to the feelings of others.
  • Show genuine interest in others.
  • Be adaptable and willing to compromise.
  • Be a good listener and empathetic.
  • Really care about others.
  • Be optimistic and usually see the positive in others.
  • Volunteer and people can count on you.

How you can best support this personality type:

  • Show approval.
  • Tell them how much you appreciate what they do.
  • Tell them how special they are.

If you chose “criticism and ridicule”

Your personality type is Control.

At your worst, you may:

  • Lack spontaneity.
  • Create social and emotional distance.
  • Hide your weaknesses.
  • Get defensive instead of remaining open.
  • Avoiding dealing with issues when you feel criticized.
  • Sometimes wait for permission.
  • Be critical and faultfinding.

At your best, you may:

  • Be organized.
  • Be a good leader and crisis manager.
  • Coordinate activities.
  • Be persistent.
  • Take charge and bring order to chaos.
  • Be loyal and helpful.
  • Obey the law.
  • Be objective and logical.
  • Get tasks done quickly.
  • Wait patiently.

How you can best support this personality type:

  • Ask how they feel.
  • Tell them the rules.
  • Ask for their help.
  • Say, “okay.”
  • Give choices.
  • Let them lead in the area they want to.
  • Give permission.
  • Ask advice.

If you chose “stress and pain”

Your personality type is Comfort.

At your worst, you may:

  • Be hard to motivate.
  • Be idle and non-productive.
  • Take the path of least resistance.
  • Avoid conflict and new experiences.
  • Do only the things you do well.
  • Allow others to do your share.
  • Worry a lot, but don’t let others know how scared you are.
  • Juggle uncomfortable situations rather than confront them.
  • Want to be taken care fo.

At your best, you may:

  • Be stable and dependable.
  • Create a comfortable, relaxing atmosphere for others.
  • Be flexible and easy going.
  • Be good at letting others feel important.
  • Be easy to please.
  • Do what you do very well.
  • Mind your own business.
  • Be diplomatic.

How you can best support this personality type:

  • Do not interrupt.
  • Invite their comments.
  • Listen quietly.
  • Leave room for them.
  • Show faith.
  • Don’t do things for them; encourage them to take small steps.

If you chose “meaninglessness and unimportance”

Your personality type is Superiority.

At your worst, you may:

  • Take on too much and become overwhelmed and overburdened.
  • Know it all and like to be right.
  • Look for blame instead of taking responsibility.
  • Do it all yourself instead of delegating.
  • See others as better than or worse than.
  • Be critical of self and others.
  • Seem arrogant to others.
  • Try to hide feelings of inferiority.

At your best, you may:

  • Be idealistic and have a lot of social interest.
  • Be productive and knowledgeable.
  • Make people laugh.
  • Encourage others.
  • Receive a lot of awards and prizes (or degrees and licenses).
  • Be a leader instead of waiting for others to tell you what to do to get things done.
  • Be very creative.
  • Be clear about what is important.
  • Have a lot of self-confidence.

How you can best support this personality type:

  • Tell them how significant they are.
  • Thank them for their contributions.
  • Help them see the small steps.
  • Have fun with them.

(This is adapted for STF relevance from Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott.)

This looks like a really good activity. I’m wondering though, are there copyright issues with posting what you just did on our site? I don’t know the answer. Just thought I’d ask.

Adam W.


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