Unlike some people who might be confused by the counselor’s question because they were lost in the reminisce of a memory, Sharah was not. Her brain worked incredibly fast. Unless she was totally overwhelmed and near a point of break down she could keep up with several things at once: a side effect of hearing everything around her. “Oh I’m fine, well as fine as I was when I walked in here. Talking about self criticism just reminded me of something my fiancé tells me all the time. He knows how I am, and he can usually tell, before I do, when I start to spiral. The words have become a type of mantra for me, while we’ve been apart.” She smiles over some memory and it’s more humored than wistful. “I’ve never heard Matt Dusk or Michael Buble. I will have to look them up later.” Sharah glanced around the room again, getting a better feel for the new counselor, and waiting. She’d been escorted by the doctor out of the bowling alley last night. She was sure there were things the counselor would want to ask or delve into. And that’s why Sharah had come to the office. She needed to get back on even footing, or right her boat so she wasn’t capsized anymore.
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO
Dinui nodded gently her anteni swiveling slightly, “Can I ask why you left the bowling alley early last night?” She asked as she regarded Sharah, concerned and curious of the reasons for her exit. Though she didn’t intend to push too much during this first session, she was still getting back into the headspace for counseling after doing medical exams. Dinui had enjoyed the work and closeness involved with counseling but had previously agreed to expend to more medical duties. Since her transfer to the Ark Angel, she was feeling that decision had been more of a test than actual drive. So when asked she had absolutely no problem with returning to the root and reason of her career helping others with their own mental health and personal ideals.
- Dinui xi’Indrai, Counselor
“I ‘hear’” and Sharah uses air quotes and then taps to her head, “everything. Unless someone has exceptional mental barriers, I hear the conscious and subconscious thoughts of everyone around me. I can’t turn it off. I can ignore it to the sense that the specifics don’t register but it is still part of the noise.” She touches the new pip on her collar. “I wasn’t prepared for the captain to promote me, or to do it so publically. Which is ironic that I didn’t know she was going to do it. She is exceptionally well trained and her thoughts don’t leak out. But when she did that, it caused the minds of all those people to focus on me. And even if I had been prepared for it, I’m not sure I could have ignored it any better. But they were all thinking about me and the noise suddenly was overwhelming.” She sips her water, remembering. “I think I could have gotten above it, but then the XO arrived, and that was harder.” She swallows and looks at Dinui helplessly. “I can’t handle Vulcan minds. They are extremely painful to me. They have been since I studied on Vulcan when I was 10. I can work with Vulcans as long as I know. I can’t lessen the pain, but I have learned to work through the pain. But his…mind was different. It was louder. I don’t know why, but then I got sick from the amount of pain, and I left.”
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO
Dinui nodded and frowned slightly, “I can only imagine the pain you must have been in, as far as his mind being different I will have to talk with him before I can figure it out.” She regarded Sharah concerned, “Are you going to be able to work on the bridge when he’s there or do we need to request a separate shift detail?”
- Dinui xi’Indrai, Counselor
Sharah looks at her horrified, “Bridge duty?” Obviously all the new responsibilities that have come with her promotion, she’s either not thought about or no one told her. Probably both since she only found out last night.
She stops to think about the other part of her question, “I don’t think I need a different shift, and in case of something major I’d have to go to the bridge anyway. Plus DH meetings. I know he will be there, so I’ll be prepared. I can’t do anything about the pain, but I can be prepared for it and work through it. And really it would be very irresponsible if the first time I have to work with him is in the middle of an emergency. We might actually work well together despite my problem.” She thinks the previous night was a bit of a jumble. “He said something about both of us meeting with Lt Marshall, but he didn’t elaborate.”
Lt jg Fayth, CSO
Dinui nodded softly, “Well perhaps we can figure out something to lessen the impact of the pain.” She said thoughtfully, she paused a long moment, and added, “Perhaps Marshall will have ideas as well but if Soval mentioned it I would guess he has a significant reason. We can only adapt after we find out more.”
- Dinui xi’Indra, Counselor
Sharah shrugs, resigned. “Even if we can’t, it is something I have to live with. I’m sure he must have a reason to want us to see Lt. Marshall. Hopefully he will enlighten me soon as to that reason.” She doubted that though. Most Vulcans were so self centered they never thought to inform those around them until the last moment necessary. Sharah stared down into her water. That wasn’t fair. “I don’t really trust Vulcans to be forth coming. I know that it isn’t true of every Vulcan. It had been of the Vulcans I studied under on Vulcan, but they saw me as an irrational child, who should trust my betters to make decisions. They found me quite annoying for already knowing what they were thinking and planning to do. They didn’t like it, and I was young and didn’t like being kept in the dark. I was young, scared, and my head had hurt all the time. They were supposed to help me not make it worse....My mother dragged me all the way from Betazed to Vulcan because the monks there said they could help. I left with a very different perspective of the Vulcan mind and their mental training.” Sharah sighs and leans back against the couch. “The way they train their minds…something about it makes their touch, even in passing very painful. Maybe it’s psychosomatic. My time on Vulcan was very traumatic.”
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO
OOC: Bumping for CNS
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