Posted Nov. 20, 2020, 7:04 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sharah Fayth (Chief Science Officer) (Jennifer Ward)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sharah Fayth (Chief Science Officer) in side sim - xi’Indrai’s Office - Starting Over
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dinui xi’Indrai (Chief Counseling Officer) in side sim - xi’Indrai’s Office - Starting Over
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Sharah Fayth (Chief Science Officer) in side sim - xi’Indrai’s Office - Starting Over
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
[snip]Sharah shrugs, resigned. “Even if we can’t, it is something I have to live with. I’m sure he must have a reason to want us to see Lt. Marshall. Hopefully he will enlighten me soon as to that reason.” She doubted that though. Most Vulcans were so self centered they never thought to inform those around them until the last moment necessary. Sharah stared down into her water. That wasn’t fair. “I don’t really trust Vulcans to be forth coming. I know that it isn’t true of every Vulcan. It had been of the Vulcans I studied under on Vulcan, but they saw me as an irrational child, who should trust my betters to make decisions. They found me quite annoying for already knowing what they were thinking and planning to do. They didn’t like it, and I was young and didn’t like being kept in the dark. I was young, scared, and my head had hurt all the time. They were supposed to help me not make it worse....My mother dragged me all the way from Betazed to Vulcan because the monks there said they could help. I left with a very different perspective of the Vulcan mind and their mental training.” Sharah sighs and leans back against the couch. “The way they train their minds…something about it makes their touch, even in passing very painful. Maybe it’s psychosomatic. My time on Vulcan was very traumatic.”
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO
Dinui nodded, “Well I can’t say for their training or tutoring but I can say, your mother was trying to do her best to help you with what had been recommended, I am sorry it didn’t help as intended.” Dinui frowned slightly and shook her head slightly, “I don’t have all the answers but we can work towards finding what works best for you now. What is past is done we can work on that foundation and make it better.”
- Dinui xi’Indrai, Counselor
Sharah smiled softly. She’d had a similar conversation with Joseph once. “I know she did. I love my mother dearly. We always went as a whole family. My brother loved it. He always wanted to go into Star Fleet, and each trip gave him the opportunity to travel on a starship. My mother put up with a lot from me. I was always so terrified of everything, and I took it out on her a lot.” That was a whole other discussion. Sharah loved her mother, and they were very close, despite the fear Sharah blamed her for when she was a child. She’d worked through that many years ago, and it had…Sharah decided to stop that line of thought. It was for another day.
Sharah nodded in agreement, “I would really like to be able to do that.” And Sharah would. It was why she showed up multiple times a week for therapy, to work on it. She kept journals of her routines and what she did to help with the noise. Nothing seemed to help. And of course on her last ship the counselor didn’t feel like she needed the sessions. Sharah had dealt with it alone, with Ashlyn’s help until she’d been able to find another officer that had a counseling degree. NE Helpyou had tried, but her trepidation and uncertainty had fed to Sharah like a floodgate opening, and it had only made things worse.
Lt. jg Fayth, CSODinui nodded, “There’s one thing I would like to try if you are willing?” she paused before she added, “If you have tried a variant of this we can rethink but next time you feel overwhelmed by another’s thoughts. I want you to try and recall one of your happiest moments from childhood, and focus on what it means to you apply a word to it to bond to the memory and try using that word to focus on your own feelings in contrast to another’s.”
- Dinui ix’Indrai, Counselor
Sharah thought about it. There were a few truly happy memories from childhood. Not that she had a miserable childhood, but ones with overwhelming happiness were few and far between. But…”Does it have to be childhood? Could it be more recent?” She had lots of those, but childhood ones were…difficult and not as strong as the ones she was considering.
Lt. jg Fayth, CSODinui nodded, “If you feel a more recent memory will work by all means try it and let me know how it helps, or not.” she said glad she hadn’t appeared to upset Sharah with the suggestion to using memories to help her focus her own feelings from those around her, it was a risk she had being willing to take since she had not read in full detail what had been tried and not.
- Dinui ix’Indrai, Counselor
Sharah had several she could think of, more recently. One or two from when she was a child, but they were very brief and so much connected to them. “I will. It’s something I’ve tried before, but not for a long time. My doctors didn’t tend to repeat techniques after we tried them once. I think it is worth trying again. I’m not the same as I was a child, and my mind is more mature. I have the ability to use metacognition (OOC: the ability to think about how you think) now that I’m older and more mature.” Sharah had been there for awhile and nothing had really been solved, but nothing ever was. “Do…do you think the Lt Cmdr will remove me from duty?” Sharah was terrified of that possibility. That he felt her too dangerous or sick to keep working.
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO“He hasn’t mentioned it to me and I haven’t seen the recommendation from Marshall, either so I think we can say that you’re safe for duty.” Dinui said addressing that first since she noticed that Sharah seemed concerned about it. “If you are willing to try again with new memories by all means please do. I want to know if it might help but if not well will keep thinking on it and trying to see what works best for you.” Dinui added after a moment’s pause.
- Dinui ix’Indrai, Counselor
Sharah nodded, took a deep breath, and reminded herself, this wasn’t new, she’d lived like this her whole life. She just had to figure out how to ride above it. “Honestly coun…Dinui, if you can figure out a way to help me where all the other doctors and counselors haven’t…I’m willing to try even if it’s something I’ve done before.” She’d been in the office awhile now. “When do you want me to come back?” Sharah was used to having appointments 3 to 4 times a week. Sometimes more depending on how she was doing. It was nothing new, just a new person.
Lt. jg Fayth, CSO
OOC: bumping for when she’s back
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