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Side Sim - Questions and Concerns

Posted Sept. 13, 2021, 2 p.m. by Commander Siadra Enai (Executive Officer) (Silke Fahl)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Si’Rek (Chief Operations Officer) in Side Sim - Questions and Concerns

Posted by Commander Siadra Enai (Executive Officer) in Side Sim - Questions and Concerns

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Si’Rek (Chief Operations Officer) in Side Sim - Questions and Concerns
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Si’Rek paced his quarters. He was not happy. Finally, he went to the comm station and pressed the activation.

=/\= Commander Enai, would please come to my quarters? I would like to speak with you privately, please. =/\=

Si’Rek, Ops

Siadra had just left Shara’s when Si’Rek called her. =/\= Give me five minutes and I’ll be there. I need to check on Liara first, =/\= she replied after tapping her combadge, her voice only ever so slightly slurred despite the number of drinks she had.

Opening another com channel, she said, =/\= Enai to Ensign Nolan. I’ll still be a while. I’m sorry. Can you continue to keep an eye on Liara? Is she doing okay? =/\=

=/\= Of course, Commander. Don’t worry and you don’t have to apologise. I’m happy to look after her as long as needed. And she is doing just fine. But I’ll call you should that change, okay? =/\= NE Nolan replied, the smile on her face audible in her voice.

=/\= Thank you, Ensign. Give her a hug from me =/\= Siadra answered and then closed the channel.

A few minutes later, the First Officer arrived in front of Si’Rek’s quarters and pressed the chime.

~Cmdr. Enai, XO & NE Sutton Nolan, Scientist

The door slid open and Si’Rek looked at the doorway and he said “Siadra… please, come in.”

Stepping into his quarters, Siadra gave Si’Rek a brief and said softly, “Hey Si’Rek.”

The Operations Chief’s quarters were standard size for a DH, albeit much smaller than would be had on a larger vessel. The only change from standard was a larger bed to accommodate Si’Reks larger frame in the far left corner. The only other doorway, on the right side of the room as she entered, leading to the refresher shared with the quarters adjacent to his. A desk and two chairs was in the far right corner.

The room was decorated uniquely, however. Many small clay and ceramic jars, all painted in vibrant colors and intricately-done patterns, were set all over the room. Rugs lay scattered across the floor and hung on the walls,and the colors and patterns gave the impression the room was much larger than it actually was.

Si’Rek motioned her to a chair and said “Please, sit. Would you like something to drink?” and he looked at her again and his nostrils flared slightly. “Perhaps some water?” he added with a quizzical look at her.

Si’Rek, Ops

While she walked over to the offered chair, Siadra’s eyes never left Si’Rek. She looked at him intently while also reading his emotions. Though at the flare of his nostrils and the emphasis on the word ‘water’, she felt blood rush to her cheeks and quickly dropped her gaze. Looking at her hands in her lap, she replied a little sheepishly, “Water would be good. Thank you.”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

Si’Rek smiled and said “I do not begrudge you the desire to drown the bitterness that meeting left in most of our mouths.” He activated the replicator and came back with two large glasses, one water and one iced tea. He didn’t sit at the desk, instead taking the other chair and facing her. “I do not like this mission, Siadra. Not at all. We are not spies, nor are we covert operatives. And I do not think it fair that we are being forced to be such.”

Si’Rek, Ops

bump

Siadra took the glass of water from Si’Rek and took a small sip. Locking her eyes with his, she nodded and said softly, “Me neither. I don’t know what they are thinking. With four exceptions, no one on this ship is trained for this type of mission. Maybe I’m being too pessimistic but …” Her voice trailed off and she drop her gaze. Taking a deep breath she then voiced something she hadn’t said aloud to anyone yet. Not like this anyway. “I’m scared Si’Rek. Yes, I know it was my own decision to stay in Starfleet after Leni’s death and to raise Liara on a starship. And that means I have to live with the consequences of that decision. I just … I never, not even in my darkest nightmares, imagined I’d ever end up in a situation like this. And I can’t see an option to choose that isn’t awful in some way and I’m not sure we’ll all make it out alive. If even a single person on board does.” Her right hand trembled visibly as she lifted it to her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose.

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

“Drink, Siadra…” Si’Rek said softly but with noted firmness. He did the same, his eyes not leaving her. “I completely understand the risks associated with a life devoted to service. But… But I feel that, right now, that devotion is being taken advantage of. And I do not like it… not at all.”

Si’Rek, Ops

Dropping her hand onto her lap, Siadra took a shuddering breath before lifting the glass to her lips and taking a small sip. “It not fair. For any of us,” she whispered. And just like that tears started to roll down her cheeks. With trembling a trembling hand she tried to brush them away, but they were coming too fast. Not that that stopped her from trying though. At the same time she locked her eyes with Si’Rek’s and added surprisingly fiercely, “I hate this, Si’Rek!”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

Si’Rek looked at her for a long time in silence and then said “And what, exactly, do you hate about it? And have you voiced this with the Captain? What did she say?” His eyes were fixed on Siadra’s face, but an arm extended out and picked up a small square of multi-colored cloth by the edge of the desk and he handed it to her. “Here… dry your eyes.”

Si’Rek, Ops

“You heard what I said in the meeting earlier. That’s all the Captain knows as I haven’t spoken to her in private. I followed Commander Calloway and had a long conversation with her. And a few drinks. And then I came here,” Siadra replied as she reached for the handkerchief and began to dry her eyes. “I hate that it feels like we don’t have choice. Despite the fact that they said we do. We are Starfleet officers da§$ it. We all have strong sense of duty. Some of our Junior Officers and enlisted personal may say they’ll stay behind, but no matter how uncomfortable any of the Senior Staff is with this mission … I don’t think any of us are the type of people to stay behind and leave the others to their fate. I certainly am not. And part of me is really upset with myself for not being able to take Liara and stay on the station, do what will keep her safe. I hate that all the choice we have feel like really bad ones.” Shaking her head she added in a small voice, “This is not what I signed up for when I joined Starfleet or when I accepted this position.”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

Si’Rek sipped his water, his eyes not leaving hers nor blinking. He just looked for a long time, and listened. Finally setting his water aside, he leaned forward and set his arms on the desk. “So what did you sign up for, Siadra? I mean, do not get me wrong… I am not at all pleased with the nature of this particular mission. Nor am I in the belief that we as a crew have the training to conduct such… subterfuge. But something tells me that your objections lie elsewhere… is that correct?” he asked curiously.

Si’Rek, Ops

For several moments that felt like an eternity to her, Siadra was silent; pondering how to put her thoughts and feelings into words in such a way that they would make sense. Finally she said, “I joined Starfleet to explore the galaxy. To learn. And I became a Counsellor to help people. To support them. To be a sounding board. To be someone they can safely vent their thoughts and emotions with. In many ways that, to me, overlaps with my duties as a First Officer. And of course that is the core of our mission and exactly why I can’t just walk away. What I didn’t sign up for is lying. Playing games. Being send into an extremely dangerous situation for which only four people on this ship are actually trained for. I understand why we have and need Intelligence Officers. And I’m glad we do. At the same it’s something I never wanted to be. I hate lying.” With a soft sigh she left herself slump backwards against the backrest of her chair, nearly spilling some water over her lap.

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

Si’Rek looked at her and nodded, and then said “But… we aren’t exactly lying, are we.” and he looked at her intently. “With the plan they have, we really will be listed as missing… which some of us will be. And we will be listed as criminals… which the rest of us will be, correct? I mean… according to that rather abrasive fellow… we are actually stealing the Asimov. Command doesn’t know what we are doing. Intelligence does not know what we are doing. Everyone with any actual authority over where we go and what we do is unaware of the mission we are on… so we really are criminals. Or… at least we will be. Perhaps if we look at the situation through the lens of the old human morality test. The one which states a man is caught stealing bread to feed his family who is starving. Stealing is wrong. But does the motivation for the crime lessen the crime itself? Yes… what we are about to do is criminal. But if what the agents say is true… there is a good reason for it. Correct?”

Si’Rek

Siadra shook her head. “I know we are doing this for the greater good. Which is why I can’t walk away. But we are still lying or pretending anyways. We aren’t really going to be missing. We will just make people believe that we are. And then pretend to be completely different people while the rest of us pretend to be criminals, mutineers. It feels like lying to me and it makes me sick to the stomach.” Clenching the glass in her hand as hard as she could, she dropped her gaze and whispered, “Everything about this makes me feel like I’m a horrible officer. A horrible mother. A horrible person. And no matter what I decide, I’ll still feel that way.”

~Siadra


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