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Calloway's Quarters - A shoulder to lean on? Someone to vent to?

Posted Nov. 26, 2021, 11:08 a.m. by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Commander Siadra Enai (Executive Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters - A shoulder to lean on? Someone to vent to?

Posted by Commander Shara Calloway (Chief Intelligence Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters - A shoulder to lean on? Someone to vent to?

Posted by Commander Siadra Enai (Executive Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters - A shoulder to lean on? Someone to vent to?
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Shara nodded slowly. She understood all too well, sadly. Drunk as she was, her mind still felt clear to her and she was grateful she wasn’t drinking moonshine this time. “Look, I get it. It’s been twenty-six years since the Dominion killed my husband and twenty-three since I learned about his fate. It destroyed me for a little while, so I’m not going to say what I’m gonna lightly. Of course you want to keep your daughter safe. Of course you fear something happening to her. And it’s harder without your spouse there, but, and you might hate me for this, Liara isn’t more safe elsewhere than she is here. Is there danger present here more overtly? Sure. But your daughter could trip and fall while playing and get a serious head injury. She could be playing outside in a forest and run through some poisonous bushes. Your job Siadra isn’t to wrap her in a bubble and protect her form life. Your job is to demonstrate through your own actions how to stay within your integrity. And what do you want her to see? A mother who is so distraught between two choices she really doesn’t have to make that she is an ineffective leader and possibly puts others in jeopardy? Or do you want her to see a strong woman who has to make sometimes really difficult choices under less than ideal circumstances, is willing to face whatever consequences come her way, and faces it all not with lightness but trust in herself and those she’s with. Because, I gotta be honest here, if you are going to wages this internal war every time the red alert goes on this battleship, then you might a well retire your pips and uniform and go settle somewhere quiet. But I trust my gut about you ad I know that wouldn’t make you happy, and it wouldn’t make Liara happy to see you give up like that. Kids damn well see more than we ever give them credit for, so.. something to keep in mind.”

~Commander Calloway, CIO

Turning her head to look at Shara again, Siadra nodded slightly here and there. “I’m not going to hate you for pointing out the truth and reminding me of something I already know,” she replied. “That’s not who I am. And you are right, I don’t think I’d be happy settling down on some planet. Not in the foreseeable future anyway.” She sighed softly and then continued, “I know I can’t and shouldn’t wrap her in bubble wrap and protect her from everything. And I know that life is dangerous. Period. I also know I can be over-protective when I am struggling. And this mission … it caught me by surprise and triggered me. I don’t want her to see me like this.” She gestured at herself with the hand that was still holding the glass. “I want to be a positiv role model for her so that she grows up to be a strong, smart and courageous woman. Someone who trusts and loves themself and isn’t afraid to ask for help or show her vulnerability around people she feels safe with. And I know I’m a mess right now and am the opposite of who I need to be. And I know I’m worrying too much and that I should just get a grip on myself. And I will. I just need a little time to process everything. And no, I won’t be like this every time we go to red alert. I’m usually highly focused in those situations and don’t worry about Liara. But I also knew that she was with other people, people who could protect her if need be when we went to red alert or when I was on an away mission or something. And of course I know this crew will take care of her as well if, when I can’t. I just need to get to know everyone better to feel more at ease. And what’s more she needs to get to know the crew and feel more at ease again as well.”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

“And that might take time we don’t have,” Shara said. She leaned forward, bracing her arms on her legs. “Look, there’s no easy way and there’s no right answer. Take it from someone who’s been there. All you can do is make the best choice you can with the information you have. And that might mean you screw up and something happens. It might mean in hindsight you were wrong. My first husband and I faced an impossible decision. the easy one was to leave with our daughter and take her elsewhere, but the core of who we were said that that was the wrong way to go. So we stayed and joined the Maquis in their fight. We put a weapon in our daughter’s hands so she could protect herself if were weren’t able to do it. And there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish here had been a better option. But that’s how it went down, for better or worse, and I look at the woman she is now and am extraordinarily proud of what she’s overcome, and what she deals with day in and day out. Maybe, instead of thinking of this situation as a difficult one you have to deal with, it can help to look at it as a situation that can help shape who she becomes. You and I don’t get to decide whether it’s for the better or not, but I think if she sees people working together and trusting each other, that later on in her life she’ll see it all for what it truly was and not hold it against you.”

Commander Calloway, CIO

Siadra knew that Shara was right and at this very moment she struggled to accept that truth. She would, though. She always did. Even if it was hard. Looking at Shara with a small, slightly lopsided smile, she said softly, “I came here to see if I could help you in some way. Instead you offered me a different perspective on the whole situation. Thank you Commander … Shara.” She hesitated slightly before using the other woman’s first name, feeling uncertain whether or not that was okay. “I wish I could do more for you. My door is always open. So if there is anything, please never hesitate to stop by.”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

Shara gave the XO a lopsided grin. “You already helped by bringing the booze. That’s a complicated decisions for me all on its own, but for now it’s what I needed. Micah and I will work things out, but right now I just needed to let myself a bit of a temper tantrum so that later I could move forward without losing my shit.” She shrugged. “You’re telepathic, so you’ll be aware if I’m distressed. I can’t show it to the rest of the crew, but it’s nice to know there’s one person I won’t need to explain it to. I wish I could promise my symptoms won’t surface at an inconvenient time, but I can’t. If you can accept that as a risk of having my experience on this mission, then I’ll accept it as well.”

Commander Calloway, CIO

“Of course I can accept that and should your symptoms surface at an inconvenient time, or at any time, really, I’ll be there to help and support you as best as I can and in which ever way that is possible in any given moment.” Siadra looked her deeply in the eyes. Her expression serious and tender at the same time. “I promise you I’ll do all in my power to help that well succeed in this mission and that we’ll all make it out okay. And then I’ll do what I can to get us all the psychological support we’ll need and some R&R.”

~Cmdr. Enai, XO

“R&R. Just had some of that, but it was surprisingly not as relaxing as I had imagined.” Shara smiled. “Though it’s nice to know i have a place to go home to,” she added, her voice soft. Just thinking of Tennessee made her content, and not the least of which because she could be there with Micah.

Commander Calloway, CIO


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