Posted Oct. 5, 2020, 4:18 p.m. by Civilian Kara Nakuto (Engineer (Consultant Researcher - Yellow)) (Sharon Miller)
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Posted by Lieutenant Casela Synthi-er (Counsellor / RTF) in Counselor’s Office - Nakuto drops by
Posted by Civilian Kara Nakuto (Engineer (Consultant Researcher - Yellow)) in Counselor’s Office - Nakuto drops by
“My crew are not dead.” Eyes locked with the Counselor, the half-Klingon remained solid in her own stance, even as brown eyes began to flood from years of unspilled tears. “Death would be a blessing I could accept, to have roared them into Sto-vo-kor a profound and glorious honour. But there is no closure to be found here.”
Nakuto relented, collapsed back onto the seat and fixed her gaze on a point beyond the confines of the opposite wall. “When I tell you that I lost them it is not avoidant wording but a literal statement of facts. It always amazed me how quickly the horrors of the Viking became commonplace. When drowning in a vast body of water, it can be difficult to find something to drink. On any other ship, the appearance of the portal would have been alarming. On the Viking it was merely a curiosity.”
She snorted a dry laugh, her focus returning to the immediate surroundings, the bare room no longer comforting but starkly lacking places to hide.
“I should have been more careful. But after the pyramid I…a combination of exhaustion, continued survival and pure, unrestricted ego saw me plunge headfirst into that portal as easily as one might step onto the bridge! But I had not expected the others to follow. Or for me to be the only one who made it out.”
- Kara Nakuto (Consultant Researcher)
Casela nodded. “Death is often preferable to what we have to live through, Kara. I know what it is like to wake up every day and pray that it will be my last. But until that blessing comes, I am lucky enough to have the skills and knowledge to make the living easier for others.” She takes a sip of her drink, wetting a parched throat, made dry by the dessert sands of guilt. “And sometimes that is enough to make the wait for death bearable.”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS“I suppose one must become intimately familiar with death if they have any hope of challenging its advances,” Nakuto shrugged in agreement. “As a Starfleet Captain you are trained in how to deal with losses from your crew. You are taught to find honour in the termination of a life proudly carrying out its duty, to find dignity in sacrificing one’s twilight moments to the cause of the Federation.”
Kara paused and ran a hand through her hair, the subtle ridges on her forehead deepening as if under significant mental strain.
“It is…the endless suffering that I can not bear to think on. The denial of passage into the higher realms for continual torture here instead. I have seen enough horror in my time to torment myself with hundreds of nightmare scenarios that my friends might be trapped within. But even then, I know that nothing I could conjure up could come anywhere close to the hellish suffering they will be enduring. Because of me.”
A roar, primal and ragged, tore from her throat and echoed around the entire room. But the release seemed to do much to steady her and, moments later, she opened her eyes once again and faced Synthi-er with a new determination.
“I joined the ARU to track them down, Lieutenant,” she admitted finally. “And if it takes me the rest of my days to locate that portal and set them all free then it will have been the remainder of a life well spent.”
- Kara Nakuto (Consultant Researcher)
Casela understood the scream of rage. Had she not just released her own anger and rage to the heavens in the holodeck? Had Cobb not screamed his crew to the heavens? Warning all there of the honorable dead that were soon to arrive. It was a curse on those left behind, like Cobb, Nakuto, and herself to feel so deeply but be denied the comfort of expressing that pain. “Aye Kara. ARU, for all it’s hellish monsters it tracks, is the best place to find a way to help your friends. Cpt. Cobb has a…connection for finding rumors and stories. If you can give him details or descriptions of what it looks like, acts like, what it does, he can use that connection to try and track it. I would suggest speaking to Lt. Remington as well, if you trust SF Intelligence. He’s young, and new to field work, but very good at collecting, sorting, and disseminating information. I have my own contacts as well, and could keep a look out. And certainly talk to Cmdr. Raauhl. On Levithan, reports of anomalies from ARU command are his job to sort to the appropriate departments. There are a lot of ways we could track that thing. Given enough time, we can find it. In the mean time science and engineering can begin analyzing the data we do have.”
She took a sip of her drink. “I won’t lie or give you false hope. These things, though seemingly everywhere, finding a specific one, is difficult and frustrating. But that doesn’t mean we will stop looking.” She didn’t know the details of Remington’s parents. But there was a possibility the anomaly who took them might be the same or similar to the one who took Nakuto and her friends. And that was twice the info they would now have.
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS
Strange, perhaps, to hear such nervous laughter from the mouth of a Klingon. But come it did and in its wake Nakuto seemed deeply disturbed.
“Counselor,” she attempted to explain this sudden, and confusing, rush of emotion, “For years I have talked in vague and distant terms about the portal. About finding it again and rescuing my friends. Do not mistake me, I was and still am determined to complete the task. But…”
She exhaled deeply, her eyes falling to the floor as if ashamed of the words lingering on her tongue.
“When you speak in such an active and positive way, when you make me believe that there IS a chance I can find this thing again, then I…I feel afraid. Afraid of the prospect of being lost to it again. Afraid of failing to rescue my friends.”
Her head raised once again and she dared a glance at Casela. “I suppose that makes me a coward?”
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