STF

Like We Always Did

Posted Nov. 23, 2020, 10:48 p.m. by Lieutenant Casela Synthi-er (Counsellor / RTF) (Jennifer Ward)

Posted by Ensign Juliet Anders (Security Officer /RTF) in Like We Always Did

Posted by Lieutenant Casela Synthi-er (Counsellor / RTF) in Like We Always Did

Posted by Ensign Juliet Anders (Security Officer /RTF) in Like We Always Did
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Juliet nodded. “I’m sure you did what you could. We were kids. No amount of or dad’s trainings could change that.”

It’s all right, her mind whispered. It was a feeling if forgiveness, but the words wouldn’t come out. Not yet.

“We have to tell the Captain. And our Department Heads. At least them.” She looked down at her hands, fiddling with her nails. “I don’t know what else to do, either.”

Casela started to say she’d talk to the captain about it. But then she wanted to ask about Juliet’s name: Anders. She had to have changed it for some reason. Had she been adopted or was there some more nefarious reason for that? If so was it safe to put it to paper that they were related. If it was safe from Juliet’s end that didn’t mean it was safe for her from Casela’s end. Nothing, when it came to the section, was ever safe. And there was Shadow Man out there waiting for her to make a mistake.

She was the first to crack. A single tear, landing on her hands, made her look at it. Realizing what it was broke the tentative hold she had on control. It was an almost mentally audible crash as all her shielding fell at once. “I thought everyone was dead,” she whimpered, her voice cracking, as she covered her face, shivering with the tidal wave of emotions that slammed into her mind and gut all at once. Her sobs punctuated by small choking gasps as she tried to fight them.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

She started to get up at her words, but hesitated. She wasn’t sure Juliet would want her to come closer. Then Juliet was sobbing and Casela couldn’t stand it anymore. She got up, walked over, and wrapped her arms around her. “I know, Sorellina, I’m so sorry. I should have done more.” Her own voice cracking as she began to cry. If she was wrong about Juliet then it was worth it. For her Sorellina it was worth it. Just like when they were kids she stroked her hair once and then pulled it back as if to put it in a pony tail. It’s okay. We’re both here now and we can only go forward. You can never go back. That’s what Dad and Uncle always said. Keep moving.
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

Juliet had stiffened in Cas’ arms as she felt them around her. Decades of training telling her mind she was being attacked or subdued. But the words broke thru the training and she soon went limp in her older cousins arms. Weeping like she had as a child with a nightmare. Isn’t that what this was? A nightmare? Moments spent just missing one another? Clerical errors the cause of being lost in the system?

Only then, to change her name and lose herself, almost completely, to a streak of destructive behavior. All of it leading to this, her and Cas SSI wrapped up in fear and suspicion that what should have been a happy reunion had been days of hell and pain.

After several minutes, Juliet managed to regain some sentence of control. She released the death grip she realized she had on the front of Cas’ shirt and tried to wipe her eyes. “What do we do now? Everything’s fallen apart. I’m supposed to be human. But too many people saw, and felt, yesterday. They’ll know we’re cousins, now. It won’t be secret for long. Ops will be furious. I screwed everything up yesterday. Maybe for both of us. I’m so sorry, Cas.”

She looked down at her hands and shook her head. “I need to ask for a transfer…” she whispered, thinking it was the only choice left.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

Casela let go of her not wanting to make her feel trapped. The four gods knew she would have felt that way. But she listened and then she couldn’t help herself, she started to laugh. “Oh Juliet, you don’t need to do that. And NO ONE will think that was you. They all think it was me. I’m not known for my telepathic control. And everyone thinks I’m a reckless hot head that does whatever her temper tells her to do. No one thinks you are anything other than what you appear. The few that might suspect won’t say. This crew is....special.” Casela sank to the floor thinking. “Ops? Spec Ops? That’s where you’ve been?”

Juliet nodded silently.

Casela sighed, “Light years apart and still so much the same. I joined Section 31 after graduating the academy a year early. I’ve been running small team, but mostly solo ops, until I came here. I was on Triton, but that was just my cover. This ship is water tight. Ops doesn’t have to know unless you want them too. The captain and XO will back me on that. You don’t have to leave, unless you want to.” Casela did not want her to leave but she understood if she wanted to. Casela, before coming to Leviathan, would have followed that instinct without a second thought. But Leviathan, the crew, changed her, and though she wouldn’t admit it, she liked how she’d changed. “If it matters at all, Juliet, I want you to stay.”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS

She didn’t have to leave?

Perhaps the first good thing to come from so this, apart from Cas, herself. “Are you sure? The Captain and Doc know what I am. They always know, in case something happens. But the others? They won’t tell?”

Casela shook her head. “This is a ship of misfits, Juliet. We’ve all screwed up in some way. Except the XO, if you ask him. Command didn’t think we’d make it. For awhile I didn’t think we would either. But everyone is loyal and a good officer. We just tend to do things our way. Honestly after all the people I’ve gotten into physical fights with, and Cobb hasn’t chucked me off, yesterday won’t appear on your record. Miiiiiine on the other hand.” She shrugged. She was giving away too much. But her instincts told her it was okay. But maybe she wasn’t the best judge now. But nothing she said was going to be something she wouldn’t have access to. “Trust is a strange thing here. No one trusts new comers, but no one will break your trust till you give them reason to. This crew was forged in fire and blood. We don’t give up what is ours. And whether you want to be or not the moment you stepped on board you were ours.”

She found it hard to believe that the group she’d staggered would melt think it wa Cas. She looked up at her cousin, a curious look on her face. “Yesterday, when I…” she didn’t want to say attack, “the was one person. A guy. He just… stood there. I don’t know how, but my guess is he knows it wasn’t you. What if he says something?” She didn’t know any of the others from last night. No introductions had been made and she hasn’t stuck around to apologize. Just as well, in hindsight.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

Casela grinned, “Noticed him did you?” She nodded, “Derrick Trainor. 2nd RTF Squad, Black Devils, Squad Marksman. Scary good. He’s also an incredible tactical officer when not doing his RTF duties. He’s quiet and nothing, and I mean nothing phases that man. He’s totally cool no matter what. Well....I take that back. When Dave, our worst anomaly held on board, got out. I asked him if he had the special projectiles used to shoot Dave. He just laughed. Like happy go lucky going on a picnic laugh. The man likes to shoot things.” She shrugs, “Can’t say I blame him. I like my weapons too.” She tilts her head to the side, “That suprised me too. He didn’t even flinch. But then again, that’s Trainor for you.” She takes a deep breath. “But no. No one on the Black Devils will talk about this. If they were going to, we’d have heard from Manhattan or Cobb already.”
Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Jewels nodded silently. Slowly she stood up, breaking the contact between. It was strange. Despite not feeling Cas, she still felt her in her mind. It was almost like a memory. She didn’t turn around as she headed for the cabinets around the replicator. “You were always there. Weren’t you? Before,” she paused before continuing, “when we were younger. I remember you were teaching me. About this, I mean,”she tapped her temple before opening the cupboard. “I remember feeling you there. All the time. Even before i killed those Marines. It was a whisper. Calling to me. ” She pulled a bottle from the back of the cabinet and grabbed two glasses from the table, recently unpacked from the material still beside them. “I was in so much pain, so angry, I thought I imagined it.”

Casela nodded. “Once your talents turned on you never wanted to let go. You were okay at first. It’s scary; it’s so overwhelming at first. But then…the news about the Dominion came. At first it just seemed like stories to scare us. But then things got worse and you, we were so scared we just latched on all the time. The extra stress was hard for you. And…I was always so good at it. You picked it up fast with us sharing, being connected like that. They hadn’t made it to our village. And then Dad decided to lead a group away into hiding. Your dad decided to stay and protect the others till we came back. We…I don’t know Juliet. After we left we some how managed to stay connected. I was scared for you and you for me.”

She came back over and handed Cas a glass. “I’m sorry. I should have listened.” She held the sapphire colored bottle up in offering to fill it with the amber liquid.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

Casela looked at the glass and then the bottle. She put the glass down and shook her head. I can’t. I have a very adverse reaction to alcohol. “I heard you, I just couldn’t find you. I tried, now…maybe I could do it, but I wasn’t strong enough then. Dad tried to help, but he had to find me first. You had no way of knowing Juliet. Your mind, and even then I could tell, was traumatized. You wouldn’t have been able to tell if it was real or not. Dad thought it might be the same with me. He thought when I heard you but couldn’t find you I was imagining it because of the guilt I felt… I saw the people you took out though…later, the pictures. Your dad couldn’t have done better.” It was a sad thought but also an honest compliment.
Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Juliet left Cas’ glass where it was. Instead of pouring herself a glass, she merely took a swig from the bottle, probably a longer draw than she should have, and moved back to put it away as she covered a slight cough from the burn.

Shrugging as Cas explained, she turned back to face her, leaving back on the table. “Doesn’t matter, now. We were kids. We’re not anymore.” Whether the words were meant to be an excuse or an apology, even she wasn’t sure. “What’s done is done. At least you know now I’m not dead. You didn’t fail.” She was putting her shields back up, and Cas would feel it.

“So what now? Who needs to know? And who should know? I’m guessing your man should know. And Captain needs to. Any other suggestions?” She crossed her arms. The emotions had taken a toll and she was letting her mind shut down and enjoy the warmth of the whiskey still burning her throat.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

Casela felt it and it was like a slap in the face, but that wasn’t Juliet’s fault. It was hers. And it was good reminder. Casela took a deep breath and stood up. “That’s up to you. The Cpt knows, Dr Knox knows. I do of course. But, I mean damn, Juliet we still look like twins. No one may know for sure but they are all going to suspect. If you’re going to working RTF you might want to make sure Cpt Manhattan knows, for emergency situations, but that’s up to you.” As for the XO, she hadn’t been on board but just over 24 hours. How does she already know about that? Seriously? The gossip mill on this ship!? “As for ‘my man’ as you put it. He has his own connections and if he should know, he already does. If you prefer for him to know or not again that’s up to you.” She never lied to him and if he asked directly she wasn’t sure what she would tell him. But it wasn’t her secret to tell. She’d though…, her fingers started tracing over a necklace holding 4 tiger’s eye runestones. It was just stupid sentimentality but to have family to introduce him too, to share the person who made her so happy with her family…she stopped and moved toward the table returning her knife and bracelet to her pocket. Juliet would feel the wall close, the blank blackness that was so different from other telepathic shielding techniques. Uncle Jo’nar had told her. But before it did if she was paying attention she’d feel overwhelming heartbreak from Cas.

Recognizing Juliet pulling away Cas wasn’t sure she should stay. “You’re trying to settle in, I just wanted to return your things. I can go if I’m in your way.”
Lt Synthi-er, CNS

The slap in the face was aimed at Juliet this time. She reached out to grasp Cas’ arm then let go right away not wanting it misunderstood. “You aren’t in the way Cas. You never have been. I just…” she sighed and settled back against the table again. “I seem to know just one thing… closed and empty. That’s all I’ve been for almost 2 decades. I tried to let the shield down to let you in and I fell apart. I don’t know an in between and don’t even know how to start.” The frustration in her voice was evident. If more had been within reach, she probably would have thrown it. As it was, jet orchids whiskey, the knife and one of her favourite glasses were all she had at hand. None were viable options.

Pushing away from the table, needing to move, she walked over to a pile of crate packing material and stayed picking it up and tossing it into the empty crate in the corner. “It seems all I can do is be a mental and physical wreck, or hurt you more by closing you out.” She the the last couple balls of material a bit harder than necessary.

Jewels
Sec/ RTF

She breathed, rolled her shoulders, and relaxed. “Hey, I’m tough, I can take it. The last two decades have been…they sucked.” She moved, she didn’t know why, but she did and started catching what Jewels was throwing and tossing it back. She needed an outlet for frustration and simply tossing packing material wasn’t going to get it. So Casela, not really thinking about it, playing goalie. Juliet was good, always had been, but so was Casela. It was fun, or it was for her. “You need head space and physical space, I get it. I do. Not too long ago…okay I’ll be honest, I’m still that way, but this crew is....my mentor, my trainer, she told me once that I’d find a crew, they’d become family and I wouldn’t even realize it. It wouldn’t be the family I wanted, but what I needed. And it irks me to say it, but that old half Vulcan Irish biddy was right. I’m learning. It’s hard, but don’t let me or anyone else rush you.”

So step back Casela. Talk shop. “Jewels? Call sign right? Mine’s Valkyrie.”
Lt. Synthi-er, CNS


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