Posted by Lieutenant Casela Synthi-er (Counsellor / RTF) in Family You Choose (cross-posted to Ogawa)
Sitting crossed legged on the computer desk Octavia had thrown a blanket over her shoulders and wrapped it around herself, “Computer call Commander Ryder Raauhl, USS Leviathan on a personal channel” She didn’t have anything to hid and besides she didn’t have the clearance to be making any secure calls. Her hands were wrapped around a large mug of hot chocolate which she sipped periodically while she waited for him to respond.

She hadn’t spoke to her Uncle in a few months and no doubt a lot had happened, it was actually his idea for her to do the month long medical practice on the Ogawa and he was joined too, he’d have some non-counselling advice for her, she was growing bored of having her mind picked at every week and even Raain seemed to dislike the constant mummy cuddling.

“Oh come on” She said rolling her eyes and sighing, Ryder never took this long to answer his calls.

Casela found herself in a strange situation: boredom. Being on medical leave left her with nothing to do, but sit in their quarters and stare at the wall. Gen was off with Fenrir somewhere, and Ryder was due to be off soon, but then he walked the ship. She’d join him, but she wasn’t allowed to be up yet. Actually she wasn’t supposed to be out of bed, but she figured sitting in a chair was resting, and was close enough. Ryder and Gen probably wouldn’t agree. So she found herself filling her time catching up on her ‘special’ reports and correspondence. So when the com beeped she made her way slowly to the desk chair, “Accept, authorization…” but the message didn’t need an authorization code and that brought her up short. Who, that she was getting a call from, would be careless enough to not encrypt the call?

But on the screen was no one she had ever met before. A girl, young, and Trill. Curiously, she greeted the caller, “Hello.”

Octavia blinked at the woman on the screen, and was silent for a moment, she checked quickly that the location on the screen she had called was her uncles quarters and it was. Who the hell are you? she thought but the words translated and she said simply “You’re not Ryder, why are you in his quarters?” She wasn’t sure how she’d call Security to someone else’s quarters on another ship but she’d damn well try if this woman was snooping about Ryders stuff.

Casela fought the urge to grin. Their living arrangement was not common knowledge, at least off the ship. The girl was suspicious, her tone gave her away. “No, I’m Casela. And I’m here because these are my quarters. Who are you?” She spoke softly and easily. Another woman might get jealous or suspicious of another woman calling and demanding to know who she was, but 1, this was a girl and 2, Casela trusted Ryder. It didn’t matter to her who called or showed up. She didn’t have time for such things.

“You’re quarters?” She asked a little puzzled, Ryder hadn’t mentioned anyone to her that he was seeing. She studied the woman for a little longer before deciding to take a leap of face, hopefully Ryder wasn’t just put off the camera angle on the floor because this woman… This Casela attacked him. “I’m Octavia, Ryder is my Uncle” She added just to secure her reasoning to calling she didn’t need Casela asking questions. “So you’re his girlfriend?” She asked remembering that she said that she was in her quarters.

There was that word again- girlfriend. It was more than that though. They were planning on adopting Gen together. What would be the correct term for their relationship? Casela pondered that while the girl just stared at her. “I am,” came the simple, but truthful answer. The girl was wrapped up in a blanket sitting on her desk. Something, other than Casela, was bothering her. Ryder had never mentioned a niece, but she’d never asked. Was she who she really said she was? Her surprise and agitation suggested truthfulness. She was young enough for Casela to still see her as just barely a child. She tried to put her at ease. “Nice to meet you, Octavia. Well over subspace anyway. Ryder isn’t here at the moment. Are you okay?”

She quickly considered her options, hang up and be that rude niece, wait for Ryder and have a staring competition with Casela or she could engage with her and figure out why Ryder liked her enough to share quarters. “Not really” she sighed, “If Ryder trusts you then so do I” Octavia took in a deep breath, “I was joined with a symbiote, but it wasn’t exactly Voluntarily. They said It was temporary but the moment I went under surgery the transport miraculously had a mechanical fault and couldn’t make it in the 93 hours it takes for the joining to be permanent. They lied to me! Forced me in the most hideous way, deceit. I wouldn’t have said no but I was never given the chance.” A tear fell down her cheek and she wiped it away.

Casela took in a deep breath. Trill law was clear. Even if Octavia had been given the chance she could not have said no. Ryder had had problems integrating the different personalities carried by Raauhl and had only resolved that in the last few months. Noa’s personality caused quite a bit of upheaval. She wondered if Octavia was having the same problem. “That is a horrible situation to be put in.” The tear pulled at her, and the anger and hurt at being used was something Casela was familiar with. Even if her circumstances were different. “What do you mean they lied?” Had there not been another host on the way? The girl really needed to talk to Ryder, she had no experience to help her. “Would you like me to try and find him?”
Casela Synthi-er, USS Leviathan
Octavia Raain, USS Ogawa

Despite having called Ryder she shook her head, “I don’t want him to see me like this. He holds the Trill Commision in such high regard and I don’t want to taint that with my own issues and well… you seem like someone I can talk too. I’m so fed up of talking to counsellors and being asked if I’m ok? Maybe I’m not Maybe im sick with being asked that question but who cares? I’m stuck with Raain and I’m not even that bothered.” She sighed, “I’m sorry i’m a little emotional. So how did you meet Ryder?” She asked curiously.

Oh the irony. She was sick of talking to counselors, but felt Casela was easy to talk to. “I doubt your uncle would feel tainted by how you are feeling.” Casela considered the girl, “Being asked if you are okay when you are not is the most inane thing possible, is it not? In my experience I would rather be allowed to vent my frustration, anger, bitterness than have to sit still and ‘talk’. If you aren’t okay, there is nothing wrong with that and you should say so. Or if you are sick of talking, don’t talk-do something instead. Don’t worry about others’ expectations.” Casela wasn’t overly concerned with others’ opinions and felt that Octavia needed to let that go. “You know your Uncle had a hard time with his joining. Given what you’ve said I would be emotional too”. Casela raised a brow. Nice try turning the conversation, but she supposed curiosity about the strange woman in her Uncle’s quarters was natural. But she seriously doubted Ryder would want her to say they met over an ill conceived sparring match. “I met him here, on board Leviathan. Do you really think the commission lied to you? Would it help to know for sure?” Casela really didn’t like how upset Octavia was, and it would be rather easy for her to get the information.

Octavia hadn’t really listened to most of what Casela had said, she was a sponge but was already filled with water. Any information now was just not soaking in, her question however brought her back to the conversation “Of Course they did!” She shot sternly in response, anger washed over her face and then sorrow. “I can’t prove anything, but come on, they would have been sending the most reliable, fastest ship with the best crew. Symbiote are sacred and for them so say the ship suffered a mechanical fault, Bull! I just can’t prove it.” She sipped her drink scowling at the camera.

Oh she was feisty! Casela hid a grin. It would upset Octavia if she thought she was laughing at her. Casela was not and didn’t want her more upset. It wouldn’t do Octavia any good to prove she had been manipulated, but it would do her a lot of good to know it really was just a horrible turn of events if that was the truth. Casela reached for a PaDD and tapped quietly on it outside the visual of the screen. She checked the message data, she was calling from the Ogawa. That was a start. She’d find out one way or another. Octavia needed to try to move forward though. Nothing would reverse her problem at this point. “How about the Ogawa? What brought you out there?” Time to think about her own plans for her life. Casela understood that the point was to provide the symbiote a new experience, unique to the host. She should focus on her own goals and plans. That shouldn’t change.

This seemed to have an immediate positive effect on Octavia, “Well that’s why I wanted to speak to Ryder, I’m thinking about staying here as a resident medical student. I’m not sure I want to go home at the moment and I feel safe here, on this ship.” She cupped her mug with both hands, “It probably doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t to me but the Ogawa and the crew feel so familiar to me and I know its Govens memories of the ship and I should be trying to separate them from mine but I don’t have that sort of focus or training. I was never ready for this, Ryder was though he knows what it’s like, he can help me, tell me what to do.” She eyed the woman and gave her a soft smile, “You’re very pretty, are you happy with him?” Now it was her turn to avoid any conversation about her life.

Casela considered her statement. “You may be feeling safe because of yourself. I’m certainly not a Trill, but based on those Trill I have known, you would feel conflicting emotions if you didn’t feel that sense of safety already. You would feel uneasy and safe. Or at least that’s how it was explained to me. I guess really the thing you should ask yourself is does the Ogawa help you reach your goals for your life? A hospital ship like Ogawa, I would hope would do that. Why were you there originally?” Casela could take a guess that it was her studies, and remaining would be good for that if she had the discipline to do the work and complete her studies efficiently. Casela couldn’t help but like her, she was straight forward and curious. “Yes, I am happy with him. I hope he’s as happy with me.” Because the four gods of Betazed knew Casela drove him crazy without even trying. The man had an endless amount of patience that Casela probably didn’t deserve. On the PaDD she had a list of flight plans for ships traveling between the Trill homeworld and anywhere near Ogawa’s position. She figured she could keep Octavia talking long enough for Ryder to arrive after his post shift walkabout.

Instead of answering she just nodded and remained focused on the woman that was dating and living his Ryders quarters. “How long have you been together? Don’t take this the wrong way but you don’t seem his type, I’d thought he’d go for someone less independent” The woman in front of her seemed to irradiate strength and individuality someone like that would eat Ryder for breakfast. The thought made her chuckle but only marginally noticeable over the communications screen if at all.

Less independent? Not realizing it, Casela’s own thoughts reflected Octavia’s own. Ryder would devour a weaker woman. Ryder would get so bored. He might like that, though. No one to argue with every night. No one coming and going at all hours disrupting his ‘beauty sleep.’ No one that he had to ‘look the other’ way for when she was being too–herself. He said he didn’t care, but sometimes, she wondered. Most of the time she felt they were well paired, but others…when she blamed herself for what happened to him, she wished, quietly for someone better for him. It was probably just the stress of the surgery and the new revelations influcining her and her thoughts. Circular thinking, formed out of boredom and guilt? “I think, Octavia, you would be surprised. I think someone less independent would be railroaded by your uncle.” Ryder never would have gotten her attention if he wasn’t a force to be reckoned with. “Oh I’d say about…7 months or so.” Probably didn’t seem like a lot of time to someone else, but things on Levi moved fast, and life…was precious. She’d lost him once, she wasn’t prepared to do so again. “What are you studying, Octavia? Other than, I’m assuming medicine, since you did a tour on Ogawa.”

Octavia committed her comments about her uncle to memory, that was a conversation to have with him later. “I haven’t quite decided yet but I think I’m going to specialise in Immunology and Oncology. There is a specialist serving on the Ogawa who has agreed to tutor me along with some others since I’m only in my second year and don’t have to choose a specialisation until the beginning of year three. So I’m really just studying the slightly advanced stuff but nothing specific.” She explained, “I’m also having to do maths and science which is normal for a medical student for obvious reasons.” She shrugged and sipped her drink. “What do you do?” She asked having not previously done so.

“Both interesting areas of study, but of course you have time to decide. But why medicine?” Everyone always said because they wanted to help people, but reasons went so much deeper. Casela wasn’t sure how to answer Octavia’s last question. She had many jobs on Leviathan. She of course could not tell Octavia she was with Section 31. Even if she could the poor girl would probably try to call security thinking she’d harmed Ryder. That thought made her smirk. There were few who could beat Casela in a fight, Ryder was one of them….and that was a thought for later. She could say medical, and that wasn’t wrong, but it was misleading. And to say she was a counselor might make the girl hang up. She didn’t want to lie to Ryder’s family though. If she could just get over the need for smoke and mirrors brought on by her long years as an operative, this might be easier. “In the interest of honesty and the risk of you hanging up on me, I’m the ship’s counselor. But right now, I’m on medical leave, and just a patient of our doctor and a headache to your uncle because I won’t stay still.” Casela smiled, poking fun at herself, and wondering how ticked off Ryder would be when he found out 1 she’d answered his call, and 2 made his niece hang up, and 3 she was out of bed when she wasn’t supposed to be.

“Oh” She said simply half considering hanging up but so far their conversation hadn’t been like the ones she had in the counselling suits and if Ryder was able to live with her then she couldn’t be all bad. Then there was the fact that she was supposed to be on medical leave and seemingly she was out and about, naughty, she thought. “Medicine is like an art, its the art of healing and holds so much possibilities and is never ending within medicine there a bit of science, security and even engineering it’s like all the other departments rolled into one were the engineers of the body, the security against virus and injuries and were the scientist creating cures. I suppose I chose medicine because it’s beautiful and complicated and its just right for me.” She slumped her shoulder smiling, the duvet she had wrapped around her slipped and she pulled it back over her shoulders.

“So without trying be to nosey why are you on medical leave? I’m sure if that was the case you should be in bed right now.” She said with a teasing look in her eyes which looked all too familiar as Raauhl had the same look, it must run in the family if Casela caught it.

“I like that analogy. I think our Dr. Knox would probably agree with you. And if you think it’s just right for you, I’m glad you found it.” She seemed a little calmer, but honestly right now Casela wasn’t sure she’d be able to tell or not. Between the pain/sedative meds, and her head feeling muddled, she’d rather sleep than try to think. Casela reached for her water, her movements slow and stiff, compared to her usual easy fluid movement. She sipped at it and hid a grin. So that look was a family trait, and it made her wish he’d hurry up and get home. She found she missed him even when it was irrational. That she listened for his voice, afraid that she wouldn’t hear it, her dreams replaying over and over, reaching for him and not finding him in that shuttle bay. She pushed it aside, she didn’t know how to reconcile the difference between grieving for his loss, but not losing him. “Shhh…don’t tell anyone I’m out of bed. You’ll get me in trouble.” Casela grinned, exchanging humor. “I had to have my rib cage replaced. I had a broken rib several months ago, and the procedure our then doctor used, fixed it, but left me with several negative side effects.”
Casela Synthi-er, USS Leviathan
Octavia Raain, USS Ogawa