Posted by Commander Ryder Raauhl (Executive Officer) in Secrets - Caselas, Gens and Raauhls Quarters (Tag Cas)

Sleeping restlessly Raauhl tossed and turned, it had been the same for the past few nights and started when Casela returned from her mission. He was over the moon she’d returned seemingly in one piece but as the days turned into a week he’d notice a change in the way she acted, she was different more reserved as if there was something she was holding back from him but being the non-telepathix half of the relationship he didn’t know what and he chalked it up to post missiom stress.

That was until the last two nights he’d notice her sneak out, even that, sneaking about her forte was noticeable and tonight was no different, she wasn’t by his side and for that he had no sense of being to why or where she was going. He’d consider going to find her but he was worried he didn’t want to know the answer.

It had started the moment she woke up in the medical bay on the Opaka. The hallucinations. They plagued her, never let her rest, and made her wonder what was real and what wasn’t. She wandered the Opaka aimlessly, suddenly turning a corner to find she was somewhere else. She woke multiple times in the night with the certainty that it was no hallucination only to finally remember what had happened and separating out the real memories from the planted ones. Until the night before, the telepathic inhibitor sickbay was keeping her on had worn off. She’d left to walk, to try and clear the jumble in her head. She’d tried to be quiet, but she hadn’t exactly snuck out. In all truthfulness she was running. Tonight had been no different. She’d made her way to the counseling deck and slipped into the rooms pulling out a med kit.

The readings just stared at her and she didn’t know what to make of it. She’d gone to sickbay, and the doctors had given her something and told her to go home, rest, and more days off. She’d kept expecting Ryder to show up, wondering where she’d wandered off to.

Just as he was drifting back to sleep, finally, there was movement.

• Commander Raauhl

She had no real recollection of the walk back, so lost in her own thoughts. She stood and stared at Gen her room for a long time before she went back to their bedroom. She tried to sit down quietly, he seemed to be sleeping. Why was it every time they needed to have a serious conversation one of them was waking the other in the middle of the night? She pulled her knees up and hung her head fighting the dizziness and took a deep breath against the surrealness of it all. Very quietly, she didn’t want to wake him, and with the inhibitor she couldn’t tell if he was awake or dreaming, “Ryder? Are you awake?” Her voice seemed to shake.
Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Half awake he grunted though it was the way she spoke that brought him out of his sleep completely. “Yes” He said not being able to hide the drowsiness. “Is everything ok?” He asked now only turning slowly in the bed, his arm reaching out to find her body and realising soon she was sat up and not laying down. “Cas?” He asked again a little more alert.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

“No, everything is not okay.” Or maybe that was the shock talking. “Maybe it is, I,” she took a deep breath, “don’t know.” She took his hand that had reached out to wrap around her. She lowered her knees and half turned towards him. “I thought it was part of the hallucinations. I didn’t know when I left.” She took his hand placing it low on her abdomen. “Ryder…” she waited for him to look her, “I’m pregnant.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

The motion of putting his hand on her abdomen was foreign, usually it was the other way round she’d ask questions about his symbiote, and how the Trill worked especially after his death not death. “How? He asked thinking to the last time they shared such intimacy. “I mean wow, but Casela?” He was clearly a little shocked.

• Cmdr Ryder Raauhl, XO

“Apparently after the incident with Hampton…with the seizures, headaches, Gen’s accident,” Casela looked at him, “and your injury my contraception treatment was missed. But that only explains my half of the equation.” She swallowed against a wave of nausea and then a quiet echo of his “wow” and then nothing else. She had no idea what else to say or what they were going to do. Levi was no place for children, period, and now…and not to mention that, despite it happening a lot, interspecies pregnancies were extremely dangerous. There was also no telling what affect the anomalies they encountered would do to her or their....their....by the four gods....they were having a baby.

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Ryder in this instance was grateful to be a joined Trill, Raauhl had several childrend and grand children and possibly even now great grand children but he knew just what she may be thinking. It wasn’t something the planned and they had Gen, the Leviathan wasn’t the safest ship but yet it was. “Casela” He said sitting up wrapping his arms around her. “I cant imagine whats going through your head exactly but whatever happens whatever you decide I am here for you and for…” He pressed his hand against her belly. “For us.” He meant it to, he was ready to be a father but her life… was she ready to be a mother? They were after all ready that to Gen but this was different.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

Casela leaned into his arms, she felt dizzy. That was probably the lack of the inhibitor and her telepathy starting to register again. But then again it was probably morning sickness. “There is so much going through my head I don’t know where to start,” she tried to smile but it was more of a grimace as the nausea made itself known. Whatever she decided? She understood he was trying to be respectful of her autonomy and her choice over her body, but it didn’t work that way. “It’s not my choice Ryder. It’s our choice. This,” She laid a hand over his over the small life growing inside her, “is our…our baby. I’m shocked but I am excited. I always wanted children.” She was quiet for awhile, “You’re going to be so annoyed with me in a couple weeks.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

“Probably” He shrugged kissing the nape of her neck, “But it will be worth it and our child will be so lucky to have us as a parents and Gen as a sibling.” Planting a few more kisses up her neck, “I’ll be with you every step of the way.” The initial shock and nervousness had gone and was replaced by joy and happiness, they were going to have a baby.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

Since returning Casela had been confused, even jumpy, making her quiet and reserved. But she was more relaxed and freely embraced these quiet gentle moments with Ryder. She closed her eyes relaxing further against him as he kissed her. It was his memory, his gentleness, the way he loved her that kept her sane and fighting in the days after she sent Gen away. And when she’d finally made it back, she’d craved them, a fierce determination to claim what life was giving her. But there was so much to worry about. “Do you want to experience something truly incredible before we have to worry about everything?” She tugged softly at that inexplicable connection they had, “You’ll have to reach for me though.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

“Oh?” He asked curiously wondering just what could be better than being told that she was pregnant. “What do I have to do?” His mind whirled at what she had in mind it was obviously something to do with their mental connection.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

“Just hold onto that connection, onto me.” Casela took a few slow breaths calming her mind. Ryder would feel her shock at finding out she was pregnant but there was an intense feeling of happy peace. Then he would feel her pull him deeper into that connection. She was careful not wanting to strain her telepathy and cause a seizure, but there connection was different and didn’t strain her.

As she explained Raauhl simply listened and held onto her.

Then suddenly there was something else there. Someone else with them. It was like a very small but bright energy or light. There was a feeling of recognition and safety directed from it to Casela, and then hesitation and and instinctual recognition of Ryder as it moved closer to him. Casela stayed very still and softly whispered to Ryder, “That’s our baby.”
Synthi-er CNS

His eyes didn’t open at first it was like the first time Raauhl and its hosts connected but different because it wasn’t the meeting of two friends it was the creation of something new, he and Casela had done that. “Its beautiful” He said finally in a low whispered tone like hers. Words failed him, and he found himself compelled to cry, but he blinked it away and simply rested his head on her.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

Casela leaned against him for long quiet moments before she let the connection go and then tiredly leaning more heavily against him. “The duty nurse said we had to come back and see Dr Knox in the morning.” She groaned, pressing a hand to her stomach, “I thought this was from the headaches,” she glanced down at where her hand was resting, “But it was all you, wasn’t it?” Her voice was soft, bemused, and softly surprised.

“I’m worried about how Gen is going to take this. She had two brothers. All records indicate she was very close to her older brother. But her younger brother, Orion Jackson McCallister, her family adopted him when she was 3 and she never really became comfortable with him. What most people would call ‘middle child syndrome.’ It was observed that she was jealous and felt unwanted. Our family is still so young and her adoption so recent. I don’t want her to feel she’s being pushed away or unwanted. I think we should tell her sooner rather than later.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

“We have to be open with her, I wont love her any less than this little one or any more” He promised, “I think the sooner we bring her into the fold the more she’ll feel a part of the family, Gen is a grown girl and she’ll appreciate the honesty. Hiding it from her would only cause animosity.” Raauhl smiled, “I think she’ll enjoy being the older sister don’t you?”

• Cmdr Raauhl, XO

“You wanna wake her up or wait till the morning?” Then she groaned loudly and was off the bed, in the wash room and the sounds of retching were heard. She leaned against the cool tile of the wall, eyes closed barely breathing waiting for her stomach to decide if it was done or not.

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Ryder hadn’t waited and had followed Casela through when he sees her retching he left the room and returned with a glass of cold water, fortunately for him at least two of his hosts had been pregnant while the other had been the male counterpart. So he knew what she was going through, at least bi-curiously through their memories. “We can wait till the morning, I don’t think a few hours will change anything.” He handed her the glass and sat down on the opposite wall.

• Commander Raauhl, XO

Casela took the water, rinsed her mouth, and then slowly sipped it. The cold was soothing, but she knew if she drank it too fast, nothing but empty liquid on an upset stomach would not make her feel better. She sat half crossed legged. One bent leg resting on the floor, the other, knee drawn up, arm draped across it. “Maybe in a few hours I’ll actually be able to get off the floor.” She continued to sip slowly at the water. After a few moments she looked over at him. She looked worn and tired, and not from the nausea. There were dark circles under her eyes, her complexion pallid, and lines of strain around her mouth and eyes. The last several weeks had been hard on her, physically and mentally. But the last year had changed a lot of things. And now things were changing much faster and she was honest enough with herself to admit she felt more than a little unbalanced. But despite that there was an unmistakable feeling of affection, comfort, and love coming from her along that connection. She stared at him a long time. “I love you, Ryder.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS

Raauhl had been watching her carefully, he had caught the tired and hot look from her nausea and he felt guilty that he hadn’t noticed things sooner. His hand had rested on her knee, their quarters were generous but he ablutions floor wasn’t really made for sitting. “I Love you too Casela” when he had gone and retrieved the glass of water Raauhl had also picked up something else. “I had hopes to do this in far more favorable scene but Casela Synthi-er will you do me the pleasure and agree to become my wife?”

• Commander Raauhl, XO

Casela, glass half raised for another sip, stopped. She blinked once and then her eyes snapped back to his. Her hand shook slightly and with exaggerated care she set the glass on the floor. She stared hard into his brown/blue eyes. One hand reaching up to hold onto and to trace the runes of her necklace over and over again. She reached out slowly tracing each of his spots. Fingers trailed across his forehead, down his temple to his neck, across his shoulder, over his chest, abdomen, all the way to his feet. On the other end of that perfect and inexplicable connection was Ryder.

She stared into his eyes another long moment. I would worry like mad the whole time you were away, I would tell you not to worry about me and do what is right, and I would want to choose to protect you over the safety of myself but I would never put anyone at any risk because of it, but it doesn’t matter because we’re strong enough to make it work and it’s worth it, your worth it. They had done the worry and doing what was right, and putting the safety of others, of the Federation before themselves. Loosing him to death and feeling him slip inexorably away from her, and not being able to stop it. He chose to protect Gen over her and she loved him even more for it. Here they still were, after everything that had happened, and she had no doubt Ryder was worth it.

She nodded slowly her hand finding his. “Yes. It scares me, but there is nothing I want more than to be your wife and the mother of your children.”

Lt Synthi-er, CNS