Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Counsellor’s Office - Naim’s psychological evaluation

The office was appointed in dusty pink and rich burgundy. They were colors Zef had always been partial to. “Good day, Lt. Please make yourself comfortable.” As the woman crossed in front of her, the Cmdr was quite taken with how beautiful Naim’s rich, mocha skin was. Compared to Zef’s own complexion, the science officer seemed more present.

Naim gave a small nod in reply and then in a graceful, fluid motion settled down on one of the chairs. Her back was straight and her legs, crossed at the ankle, were tucked slightly to the side of the chair. Despite the stiffness of her posture, though, the officer didn’t seem overly tense.

“Thank you for coming. As a new officer on the ship, I wanted to make sure I had a face to face with the command staff and department heads to familiarize myself with the people who keep everything running smoothly.”

—Rollo, CNS

“My pleasure, Counsellor,” Naim replied. “I would have asked for an appointment anyway, as my boarding evaluation got interrupted and we then were never able to finish it before your predecessor had to leave. But apart from that, what would you like to know?” There was an air of genuine and almost naive curiosity about her. And while she carried herself with a certain amount of dignity and self-assurance, without coming across as arrogant, there was also something almost child-like about her and the way she seemed to carry her heart on her sleeve.

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO

Rollo came around from behind the desk and joined the young woman in the seating area. “Nothing specific, Lt., but I see by your records that you are new to ship life? You only recently graduated from the Academy, is that right?”

—Rollo, CNS

“I did,” replied Naim and a soft, slightly nervous chuckle escaped her lips. “And here I am already filling the role of acting Chief Science Officer. It’s certainly not what I would have expected for my first mission, to be honest.” Tilting her head slightly to the side, she continued without missing the beat, “It’s funny where life puts us sometimes. I mean, I have more experience in science than the average Academy graduate and also some experience in leading research teams. Yet this still isn’t something I’d have expected in in my wildest dreams. I mean: who would? Right now, I just hope that my specialty would be more useful for this mission. In fact, useful at all might be the better description.” Realising that she was babbling, she finished with, “Sorry” and then shut up.

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO

“Oh, I totally understand. And I would concentrate on the fact that you were chosen out of the entire science department, to lead it while the Manhattan finds a new CSO. That speaks volumes of what command thinks of your abilities. I’m sure it will also help you advance more quickly than most. I asked about this being your first assignment because ship life isn’t for everyone.” Zef smoothed a stray strand of hair off of her forehead and continued. “Most people think there isn’t anything special about it, but there is. It has certain challenges that one doesn’t realize before they’re actually living the reality. So, I want to know how you’re adjusting? Are you having any difficulty acclimating to the restrictions of a ship?”

—Rollo, CNS

“Oh,” Naim replied as she realised that she had misunderstood the counsellor’s question and felt a little heat rising to her cheeks. Yet as Rollo asked about her adjustment to the restrictions of a ship, a short, amused snort escaped her lips. Instinctively she claps one hand to her mouth and for the briefest of moments her eyes went wide and something reminiscent of fear flickered across her face. Dropping her hand into her lap, she took another moment to in- and exhale in order to control her impulsive nature. She then said, “The short answer is no. In fact, in many ways I find life within Starfleet and on board the Manhattan less restrictive than almost all the rest of my life has been.” Tilting her head slightly to the side, she asked, “Am I correct to assume that you’ve read my file?”

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO

OOC: I have read your profile but I don’t know what you might be alluding to…

IC:
The counselor smiled when the Lt snorted—the look on her face was amused, not judgmental. “Yes, I have read your file. I know you were raised during the occupation on Betazed. Is that why you say Starfleet and ship life are less restrictive than most of your life?”

—Rollo, CNS

“The Occupation of Betazed plays it’s part in it, but all things considered the Occupation didn’t last very long. Though for a nine-year old stuck in a cave and forbidden to go anywhere it felt like forever,. Yet compared to my life afterwards I still had a lot of …” Naim narrowed her eyes for a moment, trying to find the right word. “Not freedom, as I hadn’t permission for a lot of things I did. But being in hiding with that many people … let’s just say you can get places as a child with out any adults noticing you. Anyway,” she continued, shaking her head slightly, “What I was referring to is that I’m a daughter of the seventh house of Betazed. My family is one of the leading families on Betazed and just as every matriarch of the other houses my mother is part of the government. Just as her mother and her mother’s mother and so on so forth was before her.” Naim tired to keep her voice neutral, but a hint of annoyance crept into her voice and expression nevertheless. “Even before the Occupation my mother put a lot of emphasis on teaching me how to sit, eat, speak and generally behave properly. But with her being a professor at the university and not a politician, we weren’t much in the public eye. That, however, changed drastically with the end of the Occupation.” Just thinking about that day, made the tension rise in her and she felt unable to sit still. So she rose to her feet and started to slowly pace the office. “We are a family of strong telepaths, so my mother and grandmother were among those who helped overpower the Jem’Harder. Many of them died that day, including my grandmother; leaving my mother the new matriarch and part of our government. That meant that all three of us suddenly started to spend a lot of time in public. Adding to that the ridiculous amount of things y mother considers improper for a daughter of the seventh house of Betazed … well, let’s just say it doesn’t leave you with a lot of freedom.” Shaking her head she finished, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go a rant like that. I know how lucky I am.”

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO

Zef’s gaze followed Naim’s presence around the room as she paced, understanding that being a daughter of the seventh house was a very emotional subject for her. “Everyone has certain aspects or actions in their lives that they regret, Lt—even people fortunate enough to be considered lucky. What do your mother and your people think of you being in Starfleet?”

—Rollo, CNS

Resting her hands on the back of the chair she’d been sitting in, Naim frowned slightly as her mind lingered on the word “regret” for moment; wondering if it was the right one to describe how she was feeling. After a few short moments of silent contemplation, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind and instead answered the Counselor’s question. “My father understands why I wanted to join Starfleet and in his way, he has been supportive. As for my mother … she has been furious ever since I told her that I’m going to leave Betazed. She thinks I’m inconsiderate, ungrateful and selfish. And maybe she is right. After all, while it wasn’t an easy decision, it was the only one that felt right to me. And I was fully aware that I would hurt people with that decision. Yet here I am; in the middle of the Delta Quadrant.” While walking around the chair and sitting back down she continued, “Do I regret it? Or the way I grew up? No. Do I wish certain things were different? Sure. Yet hardly any of that is within my control or ever has been. And how could I regret something that has nothing to with actions of my own? As for the decisions I made in my life … I would make the same ones all over again.”

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO

To meet someone who had no regrets…well, Zef didn’t think that had ever happened before. Her brows raised with her internal dialog. She didn’t think the Lt was being totally honest with herself, but that could wait. “I can tell you’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about your decisions and the fact that if you had to make them again you’d choose the same road is good. It’s unfortunate that we don’t usually have the luxury of making everyone happy when we have to make a choice, but the universe would be a boring place if we all wanted the same thing, wouldn’t it?”

“Absolutely,” replied Naim with a soft chuckle. “And I’m not sure how well we’d get along if we all wanted the same thing.”

“You do understand that believing we’re right in our decisions doesn’t mean we don’t question ourselves about them at some point in the future?” Perhaps the Lt was having a moment of difficulty admitting her choice to someone else?

—Rollo, CNS

Naim’s first reaction to that question was to look at the Counsellor in disbelief, one eyebrow raised. Once she was sure that she wouldn’t say anything inappropriate, she replied, “Yes, I’m very well aware of that.” In her mind, she added, Where there actually people who didn’t? How would that even be possible? Aloud she continued, “As you said yourself, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my decisions. I’m impulsive at times, no doubt about that. But when it comes to important decisions I do think them through thoroughly. Yet, that doesn’t mean that I never second-guessed myself, nor do I belief that I will never second-guess myself again in the future. That would be foolish and naive. And in my line of work possibly dangerous.”

~Lt.jg. Naim, aCSO