Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Rollo’s Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?
Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Rollo’s Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?
A word unfamiliar to Faye came out of Rollo’s mouth as she swore in Bajeen. “Half a bottle? That’s too much, Faye.” It was what she was supposed to say, as a doctor, even though she’d had her own indulgent experiences with alcohol and other fermented beverages over the years.
“Prob’ly,” Calloway said with a laugh.
She placed a small tray next to the woman with a couple of items on it and then made herself comfortable on a few of the pillows that were leaned up against the front of a chair. Making sure her robe was closed, Zef tucked her feet up beneath her and looked at Faye. “That’s juice, nuts and dried fruit. It will help metabolize the alcohol in your system, so you won’t be in such a world of hurt the next time you wake up.” She took a long drink of coffee then. “Okay, now tell me why you’re afraid and why you and Wyatt drank so much.”
Faye was about to comment about her smart decision to drink water and nibble on food but it didn’t really matter. Picking up the juice, she took a sip before setting it back down and stretched out her legs a bit, and Zef might recognize the outfit she was wearing was the same one she herself had brought Faye in the brig. Except she had bare feet. “Well… I did what Alex told me to and to bed. He gave me a sleep aid from Sickbay, and it ‘elped. Bu’it wore off and den I had a nightmare. Just like in de brig. So I got up and was wiiiiiide awake at oh-two-hundred. So, I opened de whiskey. And den Luke came. Luke…” she shook her head, feeling a mixture of emotions. “I should hate ‘im, but I don’t. Even if he was willin’ to kill me to capture me,” she said with a bitter laugh.
Laying her head back, Faye gazed up at the ceiling. “I’m a goddamn pariah on this ship. Luke didn’t want me. Alex doesn’t want me, and even if he did, he handed me a phaser and I shot ‘im! So dat’s done. And de one person who might want me is in a different quadrant.” Faye couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. She closed her eyes. “In de brig I had dis weird t’ought when Alex came to see me. He was all playin’ de game for de brig cameras but it felt too real. Too much like he was really angry at me. And I couldn’t blame him. I brought a huge mess onto his ship. And I tried to apologize but he was still playin’ and couldn’t accept it and I knew dat but it still hurt. And I t’ought to myself dat it would be sooo much easier for everyone if de Tal Shiar had just killed me and be done with it.” She brought her head forward, but propped it up with her hand, elbow braced on the seat of the couch.
Trying to reason with Faye while she was…wait…what? Alex didn’t want her? Zef thought back to their previous conversations in the office where Faye had mentioned being interested in someone who’s position was a problem. That was Alex? By the Gods!! She’d had no idea and had pursued the Captain, herself, until he gave in.
She closed her eyes with the realization that SHE was the one who might have come between Faye and happiness. Her head shook almost imperceptibly at the irony of the situation. Finally, Zef looked up at the woman across from her. “I didn’t know you had romantic feelings for the Captain, and all this Wyatt information is new. How do you know he doesn’t want you?”
Did she really feel like she was a pariah on the Manhattan? That would be an awful reality to deal with if it were true, but Rollo knew it wasn’t. Anyone she’d spoken to concerning the Mission Specialist had only good things to say about her—until all Hell broke loose a few days ago.
There was tension in her chest and Faye pushed it away for a moment while she reached over to grab a handful of nuts. She popped a couple into her mouth and chewed as she tried to put all the pieces together. “Which one?” she said with a bitter chuckle. “Alex only said he’d t’ink about it when I asked ‘im out. Which is fine, bu’ I’d rather he just said no rather d’an give me hope. If he really wanted to, he would have jus’ said yes. I see dat now.” She sighed. “And Wyatt…” The rejection was so fresh, and it tingled in her body even now.
The tears she had pushed aside earlier sat there, shifting her expression. “He didn’ stay. He kept sayin’ he didn’t want to go, but…” Faye shook her head. “Is it so wrong to want comfort? T’not be alone when everyt’ing seems so… hard? Am I jus’ too messed up to have even dat?”
In their few sessions together and in reading her psych records, the Counselor knew one of the ways Faye processed failure, was to feel worthless about herself. She had no real idea how immensely talented she was and all of her coping skills had been stunted by the experiences of her life. Zef allowed the self pity for now, but she wouldn’t let it go on forever.
“Of course its not wrong to want comfort. We all do, but it comes at different times for each of us. Let’s forget the Captain for now and concentrate on Wyatt. You said he kept saying he didn’t want to go. Had you asked him to stay with you? What was his bottom line for leaving…and be honest about it.”
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