Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Ready Room- Post-Party
Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Ready Room- Post-Party
Faye nodded slowly. “That is certainly true,” she said softly before raising the cup to her lips, letting the soothing hot liquid give her a moment to collect her thoughts. “But… all that being said, it doesn’t negate one very simple fact: we effed up Alex. Really badly.”
She exhaled abruptly. “And by that I mean, you and me specifically. It got the job done, but my plan was a terrible one for me. And I have to live with the very real consequences of it. I don’t know if there was a better way, but I knew the second I stepped into that brig cell that I had just done something terrible to myself. I felt it in the deepest part of me. And even if we had no other choice and still went with that plan, we should have done so with all the cards on the table. You as someone who I know cares about what happens to me should have objected. But I get that you trust me and trusted that I was giving a solid idea. But… I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Alex, and the reality is that in that moment, I really didn’t factor in how strong my desire to flee was. I should have at least considered this one outcome. And because we didn’t take that step, I broke something inside me, something that I had worked very hard to put together after I escaped the Tal Shiar. And now I have to try to put it back together again… if I even can.”
Alex listened to her and sipped his coffee as she spoke. When she was done, he regarded her for a long time wordlessly; his icy-blue eyes staring at her. After a long silence, he set the cup to the side and leaned forward, crossing his arms on the desk in front of him.
“When you and I first spoke at length, I told you something that I have never said to anyone else. I told you what I saw you becoming. Do you remember? Do you remember what I said I saw your path as, Faye?”
She couldn’t help but smile at that memory, that moment of absolute astonishment. It was hard to explain to people that she had no aspirations, or perhaps more correctly, she couldn’t allow herself aspirations. They were akin to hope, which had previously been a dangerous notion in her life. “You’re asking someone with a near eidetic memory, what they remember?” she said with a chuckle. “But yeah, it’s a little hard to forget the idea of Captain Faye Calloway.” She almost gave her usual negative addendums but something in his gaze, in those lovely eyes of his, made her let the statement stand as is.
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