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Rollo's Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?

Posted Jan. 19, 2021, 5:20 p.m. by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) (D Grisham)

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Rollo’s Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Rollo’s Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Rollo’s Quarters- Is it Therapy Time Yet?
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

There was tension in her chest and Faye pushed it away for a moment while she reached over to grab a handful of nuts. She popped a couple into her mouth and chewed as she tried to put all the pieces together. “Which one?” she said with a bitter chuckle. “Alex only said he’d t’ink about it when I asked ‘im out. Which is fine, bu’ I’d rather he just said no rather d’an give me hope. If he really wanted to, he would have jus’ said yes. I see dat now.” She sighed. “And Wyatt…” The rejection was so fresh, and it tingled in her body even now.

The tears she had pushed aside earlier sat there, shifting her expression. “He didn’ stay. He kept sayin’ he didn’t want to go, but…” Faye shook her head. “Is it so wrong to want comfort? T’not be alone when everyt’ing seems so… hard? Am I jus’ too messed up to have even dat?”

~Faye Calloway

In their few sessions together and in reading her psych records, the Counselor knew one of the ways Faye processed failure, was to feel worthless about herself. She had no real idea how immensely talented she was and all of her coping skills had been stunted by the experiences of her life. Zef allowed the self pity for now, but she wouldn’t let it go on forever.

“Of course its not wrong to want comfort. We all do, but it comes at different times for each of us. Let’s forget the Captain for now and concentrate on Wyatt. You said he kept saying he didn’t want to go. Had you asked him to stay with you? What was his bottom line for leaving…and be honest about it.”

—Zef

Faye gave Rollo a rather sullen look. “I asked. I told ‘im we could keep each others bad dreams away.” Faye gave a tiny shrug and popped a nut in her mouth, chewing as she reviewed the exchange. “He t’ought it was a bad idea ‘cause we were drinkin’. Dat we would regret it later.” She shook her head and felt the tears inching closer. “He might ‘ave regretted it, but I wouldn’ ‘ave. Zef… people don’ get it! My brain is always workin’, always t’inking through everyt’ing. I just needed to stop t’inking it all through for a little while. I did enough of dat in de brig and I jus’ wan’ed to… pause.”

~Faye Calloway

“Ahhh, I see.” Now, how to phrase the next part so Faye would see the wisdom of the decision. Zef took another drink of coffee and then set the cup on the low table near her. “Faye, look at me for a moment.”

Calloway cast her gaze upwards, meeting Zef’s as she continued to hold her head up with her hand.

She waited until the grey-green eyes were on her. “Sometimes, there just isn’t a very good answer to a question because it has too many layers. You wanted comfort and that’s fine, but Wyatt has his own set of morals and they wouldn’t let him take advantage of your inebriated condition. You said he didn’t want to leave, so maybe if you had asked him to just lay next to you, clothed, while you slept, he would have done it. Quite frankly, I admire the fact that he said ‘no’. There are a lot of men who wouldn’t have had your best interest at heart in that situation.”

Faye just snorted.

She sat up a little straighter and leaned towards Faye. “Have you considered what might have happened if he had stayed? You could have woken up in the morning mortified with what you’d done and angry at him for giving you what you’d asked for.” She let that soak in for a bit. “Wyatt tried to do the right thing—he DID the right thing and you need to see that. Did he actually say he didn’t want you? Or did he say he wanted you when you’re both sober?”

—Zef

The silence alone probably spoke volumes but after a few measured breaths, Faye’s mind clearly working through the conversation again, she sighed. “He said, ‘Not like dis. So… fine. Dat was his line. I’m no’ angry at him, believe it or not. I just…” Tears finally welled in her eyes but she let them this time. “I don’t ask for dat on a whim. It takes a lot to get to dat point. I think…”

“Faye, you can’t pick and choose the rules for other people. You said you don’t ask for intimate comfort on a whim—well, it looks like Wyatt doesn’t hand it out on a whim either. It’s unfair of you to feel slighted or be angry with him because he has the same standards that you do.” Zef shook her head slightly. It was difficult trying to make an inebriated person see logic sometimes.

Faye slouched back against the couch, bending her knees and drawing them up so the soles of her feet were flat on the floor. “Someone I knew when I firs’ came aboard de ship called me earlier. I t’ink he reminded me how lonely I am. I don’t t’ink I realized just how bad it’s been. I ‘ave been working on my project long hours every day for months to get it where it needed to be. To protect de ship and crew. And then I spent my downtime workin’ on de garden because dis whole t’ing with my secret orders was jus’ so stressful and it helped. But de garden is done and now everyt’ing else is such a mess, and then he called from his new ship and it’s all so mixed up in my head.”

~Faye Calloway

This was the first time she’d mentioned the person that called. “Who is he and why did he remind you that you’re lonely? Is he someone you were interested in personally?”

Giving Faye a moment to come up with an answer, Zef got up and refilled her cup from the replicator. Once she’d settled back into the cushions, her brows raised expectantly, waiting for an answer.

—Rollo, CNS


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