Faye's Quarters- Treading Water

Posted Feb. 21, 2021, 8:55 a.m. by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) (D Grisham)

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Faye’s Quarters- Treading Water

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Faye’s Quarters- Treading Water

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Faye’s Quarters- Treading Water
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Having left Zef’s quarters, Faye made it back to hers quickly, trying her best to not be seen. She was fairly certain she was successful, but her head still hurt a bit still and she was still tired. How was that possible. Then again it had been a long couple of days and alcohol wasn’t known to support restorative sleep. Still, she felt more… steady than yesterday. Maybe?

Faye immediately took a long shower, dressed into something clean and not something she had worn in the brig, Faye replicated both a pitcher of water and some coffee, determined to both wake up a bit more and get hydrated.

But standing in her quarters, she wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t have tons of energy and her head hurt too much for yoga, and suddenly she felt anxious about checking the systems. A part of her wanted to go down to the lab, but that was a no-no. Besides, she suspected her mother would know to keep an eye on things, and Faye herself would receive alerts to her computer should there be an actual problem. Breathe, Faye.

After trying to read (that was also a no-go), Faye settled on her sofa with a small notebook and a pen and began scribbling stuff from her head down. Whether it was useful or not didn’t matter. She just needed to get some of it out.

~Faye Calloway

About an hour later, her door chimed. Zef stood in the corridor awaiting entrance. She’d promised to check up on Faye and by the Gods she was going to do it even if it was only a short conversation between them on either side of the portal.

—Rollo, CNS

Still scribbling, Faye had even torn out some pages and tossed them in balls on the floor. “Come in,” she called up, not immediately looking up. Her pen was moving across the open journal, which was rested on a pillow on her lap. She was dressed in a pair of yoga bottoms with vibrant nebulae all over them and a loose fitting dark purple top that had an X across the back in thin straps and hung off one shoulder.

Zef entered as the doors opened. She wasn’t sure how Faye would be feeling after last night’s ups and downs, but took it as a positive sign that she was granted entrance.

Though Rollo had been in Faye’s quarters, there had been likely an air of urgency about the affair given the circumstances so it was possible the space seemed different. Her small quarters were still neat and tidy, but also fairly bare. She didn’t seem to have a lot of personal effects, save for perhaps a surprising number of plants tucked in nooks and corners of her place. There was a shelving unit with grow lights where trays of tiny seedlings had recently sprouted. In addition to the sofa upon which she sat, there was a coffee table in front of her as well as small dining table beyond that. She had a side table in a corner with some sort of cooking implement (a personal oven of some sort), and there was a desk with several stacks of padds- more work piling up while she was currently off-duty. The computer was shut off.

On the coffee table sat a tall glass of water with a half-empty pitcher beside it, as well as a mug and a lit candle, which gave off a gentle lavender and vanilla scent. Nothing overpowering, just enough that you got a hint of it once in its vicinity. A plate with a half-eaten grilled cheese sandwich sat rather forlornly next to the pitcher, though evidence of chocolate crumbs beside it indicated that something far more tasty had possibly taken precedence at some point.

The counselor took it all in, mostly getting a positive feel for the situation, and walked around to take a seat on the opposite end of the couch from Faye.

Faye had continued her tidy writing, coming to the end of a sentence and punctuating it with a jab of her pen. When she looked up, she looked tired and weary, but also present. “I suppose I should be embarrassed about last night, and there is a small bit of me that is, but I think mostly I’m just glad I ended up somewhere safe. It could have been a lot worse. So… thank you.”

~Faye Calloway

Zef smiled and nodded. “You’re welcome. I wanted to stop by and see how you’re doing?” She looked at the book on the pillow. “Journaling? I’m a counsellor and its in the rules somewhere that I have to ask.”

—Rollo, CNS

Faye quirked a slight smile. “Yeah, I’ve heard about those rules. Pretty well used to them,” she said and she brushed her fingers over the replicated black leather cover of the journal. “When I was at the Inpatient Centre in San Francisco, this was a part of my treatment plan. Along with individual and group therapy, I had to keep a daily journal and we would talk about anything came up at my next session. I haven’t always kept up with it, but I did find for a time after I escaped the Romulans that it helped, so I keep it as optional part of my self-care, and… clearly I need that right now,” Faye explained in a quiet voice.

Zef crossed one leg over the other and leaned in a little. “Actually, I journal too. It’s not a daily thing, but I find it helpful when I’m trying to work something out in my head. I think it’s the focus that helps—to see the question or problem in black and white and be able to respond to it with free thoughts or pros and cons…well, often counsellors don’t have someone to talk things over with.” She shrugged. It was a truth she’d learned to live with.

Faye nodded slowly. “I like that I can just write stuff down and it doesn’t have to make sense. Sometimes my brain is working so fast through things I can’t pull out the most critical bits or make sense of more complicated things immediately. And I also like ripping things out and tossing them away if I need to.”

Exhaling through her lips, Faye sighed. “For the record, I’m self-imposing a moratorium on alcohol, even socially for the foreseeable future. Maybe it can lifted at some pint but I think it’s better that I don’t have any right now.”

~Faye Calloway

The counselor nodded. “I think that’s a good idea for now. You have a lot of things to think about and a clear head will help you arrive at the solutions faster.” There was a pause before Zef continued. It was a silent cue to Faye that the work was about to begin.

“After all you’ve been through, can you tell me the most positive and most negative thing you experienced, or you associate with the situation?”

—Rollo, CNS

Well, that was certainly a loaded question to start with, but then again Faye wasn’t too surprised. Still, the answer was complicated and there were several things vying for both sides. “Funny enough the answer is the same for both: my mom being here. The whole false orders and imposter of a handler part definitely sucks and he… the fake, said some pretty terrifying things to me, but the part that keeps tipping me over the edge is her being here. I just can’t quite compute it, even though I made a deal with intelligence that they would tell me something about her and her whereabouts at some point. Of all the things that could have happened, there was no way to be prepared for her to walk through those ready room doors. And then to learn the things she told me while I was in the brig. It’s just all… too much!”

~Faye Calloway

Zef had had no idea what Faye’s answer would be, but immediately understood it once she said her mother. She nodded slowly. “You and your mother have a unique relationship. Unfortunately, Star Fleet has played a substantial role in it, leaving both of you with issues of abandonment and distrust. You can certainly work around those things, but to be successful you’ll have to face many unpleasant or misconstrued ideas you’ve carried with you most of your life.”

Feeling the ease between them, and grateful for it because there was a lot of work to be done, Zef relaxed her posture and leaned back into the couch, propping an arm along the top of it. “Think of the issues being represented by an elephant.” It was the largest animal she could think of native to Earth. “You and I, together, are going to eat that entire creature, but we’re going to do it one bite and a time. Every day we talk about you and Shara, we’ll eat until we are full and then we’ll stop until the next time.” Faye’s relationship, or lack of one, with her mother was the core of her problems. At least, that was what Zef believed at the present time.

—Rollo, CNS

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