STF

Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted April 15, 2021, 1:57 p.m. by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“It’s different than Tracken too. Where our settlement was had a lot of lush forest around it and we lived in a clearing near a lake.” Faye looked at Rollo and stopped walking for the moment. “There’s a lot I’ve tried to forget, Zef. Stuff I haven’t shared with anyone for different reasons. But I feel like it’s all begin dragged out whether I like it or not. Like I’m coming full circle because the bits of my past I tried to leave behind have suddenly shown up,” she said, casting a glance back towards her mother, who was still quietly playing the guitar, seemingly lost in her own little world.

Looking back at the counsellor, Faye’s vision blurred with tears she didn’t realize she had been holding back. “I don’t think I can keep it all away anymore, but I’m terrified if I let it all into the open it will swallow me whole.”

~Faye Calloway

Zef was moved by the utterance and did something she was not accustomed to—she reached out and took hold of Faye’s hand, entwining their fingers together. “Maybe you’re finally ready to unite all aspects of your life. Fear and apprehension are normal, Faye, but I swear to you…no matter what happens, I won’t let you get lost in the fallout.” Then she squeezed Faye’s hand, adding a silent exclamation mark to her words.

—Rollo, CNS

Emotions washed over Faye and she closed her eyes as she squeezed Zef’s hand in return, confirming her solid and grounding presence. “Okay,” she said softly, opening her eyes.

Holding on to Zef as if her life depended on it (as it might very well), Faye looked towards her mother again. “She has questions. I know it. I know because they are the same questions I’d ask me. But I know she doesn’t want to push. But she deserves those answers, even if it’s painful for me to tell her,” she said, holding back a sob. When she looked back at Rollo, Faye was resolved. “I think it’s time she had them.”

~Faye Calloway

Rollo was truly impressed with Faye’s psychological growth over the last week. She was putting an emotional puzzle together that she’d avoided for too many years. “I believe your mother would be grateful for the chance to know you better. I’m sure you have your own questions for her too. It doesn’t all have to happen tonight, but if you are really ready to try, this is a good place for it. Do you want me to stay or would you like this time alone with her?”

—Rollo, CNS

Faye gazed deeply at Zef and actually gave a small, if sad, smile. “You need to be there, but we both already knew that.”

Taking a deep breath, Faye nodded and let Zef’s hand go, moving towards her mother. Shara looked up as they approached, setting the guitar to the side. Her equally pale eyes (though blue) took in her daughter with curiosity. “Hey.”

“Hey”, Faye said, taking a seat on the picnic blanket. She thought about just letting them sit in silence for a few moments but it would be putting off the inevitable. “You can ask,” she said quickly. “About him. You can ask. It’s okay.” Her voice was quiet, timid, but deeper than that Faye was letting her mind pull the pieces together so she could paint the picture.

Shara drew in a shaky breath. Yes, of course she wanted to know, but everything had been so chaotic and Faye was grasping for something stable. It had seemed too cruel to even think about asking. But here they were and Faye was encouraging the conversation. “What happened to them? Your father. T’Lora? I mean I know they didn’t make it and I can make a lot of assumptions but there’s no one else who can tell me exactly how. And I want to know, but not if it’s going to do more harm than good.”

“I can handle it,” Faye said. “And if I can’t, then that’s why Zef is here,” she said, glancing at Rollo. “But I need to do this. It’s time.”

Shara nodded. “Okay.”

And so Faye told them the story she had told Alex, but in more detail and she stopped before she got to the part she had told Alex. Before T’Lora and Jaris had been killed. The story was a long and hard one. It was the story of What Happened, and it didn’t end after that first terrible day. But for the moment she let them digest this first piece.

[This is the flashback of the story she tells them: https://www.star-fleet.com/core/stf1/manhattan/posts/130626/]

After Faye stopped talking, Shara inhaled and swallowed. Then she shook her head. “He was always braver than many people I knew. But he was wrong Faye. I know he was trying to protect you, but he shouldn’t have made you make that promise.” She understood that that promise was at least part of why Faye had hidden for so long, why she never told anyone she had been Maquis. For better or worse it had shaped so many decisions for her daughter.

~Faye & Shara Calloway

Zef listened in silence, taking in all the information, but allowing the two women to have the conversation they’d waited for for years—without any interruption from her. She was there only if they needed her guidance.

—Rollo, CNS

Faye gazed out towards the water, watching the waves roll in and out. “I know,” she said softly. “I didn’t then, or for many years, but it was like once I finally spoke the truth, admitted I had been Maquis, that piece of my story began to fall into place. But it wasn’t until after I escaped the Romulans that I truly allowed everything else associated with that time of my life to actually… exist.”

Shara nodded. The pain of losing Edward had long eased and a part of her had wondered if hearing the details would make it fresh again. But no, it was okay. After all this time it was okay. “So… Jaris and T’Lora got you and Cam to safety?” There were still missing pieces of the puzzle. Questions that needed answers. Faye slowly shook her head and it was like a small shudder swept through her daughter. “When you’re ready,” she said quietly.

A couple minutes passed before Faye spoke again. “We got out of orbit and to warp but we didn’t get all that far. Maybe an hour. But if you knew people were fleeing, you could monitor escape routes. We were attacked by mercenaries and boarded. They killed T’Lora and Jaris. T’Lora had told us to hide in the back.” Faye swallowed. “They were Orions and the next thing Cam and I knew were were at a slave processing centre where we were quickly sold in a private sale to a wealthy Orion business man who wanted a couple servants for his household.” She didn’t dare look at her mother. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to finish the story. “Cam lasted a little while but he tried to escape and they killed him during the attempt. I knew better than to try and… I just did the best I could. It was okay, actually. He was kind to me and though for the first year or so I was doing cleaning or menial labour, it wasn’t so different than our life on Tracken. We all pitched in and did what we had to and so I could at least think of it like that. He never hurt me and much to my surprise seemed to like it when I spoke my mind.”

Shara’s stomach churned and she wanted desperately to flee. But if it was hard for her to listen to the story she could only imagine how it had been for Faye to live through it. A slave! Her whip-smart daughter had been purchased like property! “How did you get away?” she asked. It was the next logical question.

Faye swallowed. “After three years there, he trusted me. We… connected. It’s hard to explain. We understood each other. It would have been easy to simply see him as a monster, but he was trapped within his life just I was. I asked to leave and he let me go.” Of course it wasn’t as simple as that. “We made a bargain and after that I was free to go and live whatever life I wanted to.”

“A bargain?” Shara said incredulously, forcing herself to reign in her anger.

She nodded, but Faye dipped her gazed to the sand. It was one thing to know it in your mind, but it was quite another to have to say the words aloud. “I had just turned nineteen, but because of everything that had happened, I had never been… intimate with anyone before. He was my first.”

Shara’s couldn’t help it. Mouth agape, she stared at Faye. She wanted to hide the horror in her expression but they were here for the truth, not well concealed lies. This was not the time to deny her feelings. And at the same time finally it all made sense. Her daughter’s mental health challenges, the years of pushing back against authority, her constant troubled relationships and terrible choice in partners. It all made so much f***ing sense. And it made her want to scream. She pushed herself to her feet. “I’ll be right back. I just need to take a walk and digest this,” she said as she squeezed Faye’s shoulder. With an abrupt exhale, Shara walked off towards the cliff.

Faye looked over to Zef and raised her eyebrows. “And people think I’m the dramatic one…” It was a flippant comment but there was understanding etched into her features. She and her mother were too much alike for their own good sometimes.

~Faye & Shara Calloway


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