Posted by James Sinclair in Faye’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Faye’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers

Posted by James Sinclair in Faye’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Daggum looked at her… his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. He looked confused, but not at all angry or hurt. =/\= Faye, I… I… I don’t understand. What connection are you talking about? I mean… I just… Faye, I’m confused. What exactly are you trying to tell me, here? =/\= he asked softly.

Daggum Hammor, Ops Chief, USS Athena

At this, tears slipped down her cheeks and she looked down for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to lift her head and meet his gaze. =/\=Because I loved Kodell, Dag. For better or worst. He was my first love. And… earlier I told you about the guy I was sort of casual with. Well, it went badly, just as Alex predicted. He wanted more from me than I could give, more than I stated up front was there to have. I have never had a healthy relationship. It’s not an exaggeration. There was always some unhealthy component to each one. It’s my MO. I either find emotionally unavailable men or they take advantage of me in some way. And I let them. Because I crave that feeling of being loved all the while doubting I can even experience it.=/\= Good Gods woman just spit it out!

=/\=You remind me of Kodell, Dag. But only the best parts of what I had with him. Because… I think I might truly love you, but because of all of this with Kodell, I doubt it all. My feelings especially and I can’t seem to separate it all out. And I’m so sorry for that!=/\= Okay, now she was sobbing. =/\=And I feel terrible for possibly even causing you the remotest amount of pain.=/\= There. It was out.

~Faye Calloway

Daggum sat back, well and truly stunned.

Finally, he managed to get a single thought through. =/\= Faye… you haven’t hurt me… not even a little. So I need you to relax… and I need you to listen. And I need you to hear me, Faye… okay? =/\= and he leaned close to the screen. He took a deep breath and then started talking slowly and evenly.

Faye channelled all her learnings from her yoga practice and found that deep breathing that helped still the noise in her head.

=/\= Faye… I am so sorry for the pain you have had. And I am angry… so very angry… at those that have hurt you. But I’m not them, Faye. And I won’t ever be them. =/\= and he smiled caringly at her.

“I know,” she whispered.

=/\= This Kodell… he seems from what you say to have been a decent guy. I mean, I heard stories growing up about Masters falling in love with slaves and giving them their freedom… but to us? They were just ways of holding out hope. So as far as he goes, I can’t say anything one way or another… except I am glad you found love in a situation like that. And I’m sure it was mutual, because it’s you so why wouldn’t he? =/\= and he smiled at her.

Heat swept over her cheeks and Faye momentarily looked down.

=/\= But what I can speak of is the other one… Dez… I’ve known dozens like him. They call themselves ‘Majordomos’, and they are arrogant and manipulative pieces of s&^t. So what I don’t want you to ever do again is think about him and Kordell in the same thought. They aren’t the same… not even close. I know this because… well… because when a majordomo was found lacking, there was only one punishment. =/\= and he leaned back and his eyes filled with hurt and anger.

=/\= They throw them in the Pits with slaves like me. And we are supposed to make them suffer… more so than anyone else. =/\= and he leaned forward again. =/\= That’s what Dez was reacting to Faye… not you. The thought of you and his boss. The thought that you would replace him. If it wasn’t you, it was someone else after you. His reaction to you wasn’t a slap to your feelings for Kordell… or Kordell for you. It was simple self-preservation… because he knew that he was on the way out. That’s all. So please… never let that dung-heap color your thoughts again. Just remember that your time… screwed up as it was… was nothing short of miraculous. Trust me… it really was. =/\= and he smiled at her softly. =/\= If I could, I’d buy that Kordell guy a drink. He kept you safe so I could meet you. I guess I owe him because… =/\= and his voice caught in his throat and his eyes welled up with tears.

=/\= … because I love you more than anything or anyone in this universe, Faye Calloway. I have since I first saw you and I have never stopped. And I never will. =/\=

Daggum Hammor, Ops Chief, USS Athena

Faye couldn’t move. It wasn’t like when she dissociated and everything lost focus. If anything Daggum came so sharply into focus it hurt her senses. Her mind rebelled at this notion. It didn’t make sense! Quiet, she told that voice. The one that doubted and rejected and advocated running away. She wasn’t in mortal danger right now. Yes, she was overwhelmed in a way she couldn’t quite make sense of, but she wasn’t in any danger.

She was safe.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Faye smiled and the tears that fell were matched with a brightness in her eyes, like the sun had come in and (at least for the time) brushed the storm clouds away.

She laughed. A bright happy laugh. “Oh Gods, Dag, what do we do now?” Another laugh. =/\=I mean, I’ve waited my entire life to feel like this and now… how is this even supposed to work? =/\=

~Faye Calloway

Daggum smiled and said with a laugh =/\= I have no idea! =/\= and he smiled and laughed and tears welled up and fell from his eyes and he just looked at her for a long time. =/\= I don’t know, but I know it will Faye. I know it. =/\= and he leaned back and just smiled at her.

“Well, between us and our resourcefulness I give it high odds,” she said with a lopsided grin before letting out a breath along with all the tension.

Suddenly, he said =/\= Hang on a sec. Don’t… don’t go anywhere. =/\= and the screen went blank, but the call was still connected. After a few minutes, Daggum’s face reappeared and he was grinning.

In the time he had taken to come back, Faye had shifted her position so one foot was propped on her chair and she had an arm wrapped around her leg as she held her coffee cup. The motion had caused one side of her sweater to slip off her shoulder.

=/\= So tell me… how busy are you out there in the Delta Quadrant? Think your Skipper would give you some leave in the - =/\= and he looked away at something and then looked back, =/\= -next month or so? Say a week?=/\=

Daggum Hammor, Ops Chief, USS Athena

Faye didn’t hesitate to nod. “We’re still sorting out some of the fallout, but yeah, I doubt he’d say no. I’ve been constantly working overtime since I got here so… they owe me. And since he’s waiting to hear how this cal went down, I think he’d be willing to sign off on some leave.” But this time she wouldn’t be running away to avoid this pain. She was moving towards something, someone, but there was no life or death urgency.

~Faye Calloway