Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Faye Calloway (Mission Specialist) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Zef Rollo (Counselor) in Holodeck 3- A Long Way Down (and Up)
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Faye chewed on the inside of her cheek while she pondered the idea. While she hadn’t grown up with pets (not quite practical on their particular colony) she had no issue with them at all. She certain wasn’t afraid of them. And it might be nice to have a responsive creature around. “The dissociation lately has been really disorientating. Especially tonight. I think it’s the first time in a long time where i’ve sort of come to in a different place than I can last remember. If having a pet could help with that, or help me in some way when it happens, I think it could be a good thing. But I think I like the idea of a cat more. Not sure if they are mutually exclusive.”

Shara nodded. “Let me talk with my friend and see what she suggests. She’s got a lot of experience.” She rested a hand on Faye’s knee. “I’m going to head off, but I’ll come see you later?”

“Okay, Faye said with a nod.

For a moment Shara just gazed deeply at her daughter. “I thought the award ceremony was the proudest I could be, but I was wrong.”

Despite how utterly exhausted she was, Faye smiled.

Shara patted her knee and got up. “You both know where to find me if you need me.” She gave a grateful nod to Rollo.

“Thanks,” Faye said quietly and Shara just winked at her before heading out.

Sitting there on the blanket, Faye blew out a breath. There were just so many emotions and so many of them sat under the surface. But just getting that story out had taken all of her willpower, and despite her detachment she knew she wasn’t ready to process it all right now. If she had learned anything from her years of therapy it was that there was often a limit to how much you could do at any point. Rolling her shoulder back she could say that she felt just ever so slightly lighter than when she had surfaced and found herself in the holodeck with her mom and Alex. “What now?” she asked Zef softly.

~Faye & Shara Calloway

“Sleep would be a good idea. You’ve accomplished a lot today and although its only from talking, the roller coaster of emotions and physical changes in hormones and chemicals in your body as you did it, wears a person out.” Even she was tired and looked forward to crawling into bed with Alex even if they just slept.

“Maybe a hot shower? A cup of tea? I can see you’re weary right now, but I don’t know how being this drained affects your ability to sleep. Do you think you need me to prescribe something?”

—Rollo, CNS

It wasn’t her ability to sleep that Faye was most worried about. Giving her gaze on Zef, she blew out a breath. “I’ll sleep better if I take something, but more because I’m worried about the intense dreams I’d probably have. I don’t think I could handle them right now.” Taking a sedative usually rendered her unaware of her dreams and that would be something of a blessing right now. She had told her story but she was not ready to let Kodell, or Cam, or Dez back into her life that way.

~Faye Calloway

“Alright, we can stop by sickbay on the way back to our quarters and take care of that. I’m proud of the hard work you’re putting in, Faye.” Zef rose from her seat and gathered the sandals she’d kicked off when she entered the holodeck. “What do you really think about the cat idea?”

—Rollo, CNS

For a few moments Faye just pondered what was a very simple question on the surface, but as many things seemed to lately, it was layered. “I like the idea for a few different reasons, the least of which has been this whole thing with Luke.” Lips trembling slightly, Faye shook her head. “I didn’t mean to hurt him so badly, but I used him in a way that wasn’t fair, even if he wanted to desperately look the other way when it came to the issues I’m dealing with. Having someone, like a pet, that I can focus my attention on would be way better than falling into bed with the first person who makes me feel things. Any thing. And if it could also help me when I’m really struggling and having a hard time staying in my body, then I can only think it a good thing for everyone.”

“You know the thing that is weird though? I’ve realized that my mom went out of her way to research it all and suggest it because she knows it could help. And then I have to remind myself that she had this whole relationship with me in that Tal Shiar facility that I just can’t remember. I have no connection to it, aside from a very select few cognizant moments. So… I guess there is a part of me that feels that maybe she knows something I don’t and I kind of just have to trust her right now.”

~Faye Calloway

The two women exited the holodeck. Zef slipped her sandals back on and they made their way to sickbay talking over the kind of cat Shara’s friend might come up with. The counselor even posed the idea that an animal in her offices might be good for those who came to see her, but she wasn’t sure about it and would have to think that one over.

Zef approached the doctor on duty and ordered a single dose of a medium strength sedative in a hypospray for Faye. After it was charted, they left medical and were both headed to their separate quarters. “Now if you need anything, let me know and try to let what happened tonight process on its own. Don’t stress yourself thinking to hard about it.”

Faye snorted. “Well, that’s certainly the challenge, isn’t it?” she said with a lopsided if weary smile She gripped the hypo, very familiar with its usage and having it in hand felt reassuring somehow.

The counselor touched Calloway’s arm. “Good night, Faye. You did really well today.” Then she was heading off to her own rooms to get some sleep.

—Rollo, CNS

“Thanks,” Faye said softly as Zef walked away.

Gripping the hypo tightly, she went back to Deck Seven. When she entered her quarters, she injected the hypo and tossed it on her table before getting ready for bed.

In the bathroom, Faye brushed her teeth and was putting away the toothbrush when she felt something touch her bare shoulder. No, touch was the wrong word, caress was more accurate. The image in the mirror smiled at her. Closing her eyes, fingers traced the top of her ear as they brushed hair away from her neck. She shivered and shuddered all at the same time. “Go away! You’re not welcome here!” she said forcefully. When her eyes opened, she was once again alone.

Chocking back tears, Faye slipped into bed and awaited the sedative to give her perfectly dreamless sleep.

~Faye Calloway