Deck 4 Garden- It's Who you Know

Posted July 28, 2021, 10:21 a.m. by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Counter-Intelligence Officer) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Counter-Intelligence Officer) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Deck 4 Garden- It’s Who you Know
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻


Faye nodded slowly. “Yeah, I get that. I’m going through a similar process. I had all this stuff in the past that I pushed away so it couldn’t hurt me, but they were integral pieces of who I am, of my story. And now that I’m letting them coexist with everything else, the real Faye gets to live this life that is far bigger and fuller than she could have ever imagined.” She blinked and shook her head. “Sorry, don’t know where that came from. Feeling reflective lately I guess.”

~Faye Calloway

Revna smiled softly and genuinely. “It’s alright you had a need to speak it let it breath for a moment, the combined person you are becoming. Reflections on yourself.” Revna gently unwound part of the vine, there was the beginnings of a beautiful bloom on it and she didn’t want to have to snip it if she could help it and so she worked carefully to untangle it. “Many many years ago, before I entered the academy there was Shauwn. We grew up together, and I don’t just mean we knew each we were clan, there was never a time he wasn’t there. We were very much in love. It wasn’t like for others, when your a teenager and you discover boys or girls and it’s all intense and exciting. We” She grew quiet a soft smile as she remembered. “He died in the Breen attack on Earth. I…lost myself to the grief to the darkness. We had our whole life planned out and I had no idea what to do with him gone. He joined Star Fleet because that was his dream, and so I joined Star Fleet when we lost him, but I never wanted to. I did it for him. By the time I realized I was living his life and not my own, I was several years into my career, and with no idea what I should do, I stayed.”


Taking some of the loosened vines they were keeping, Faye moved over to the black metal obelisk and began winding it through the beautiful metalwork. “I get that, though it’s opposite for me. Starfleet was something I chose for myself even though it felt like an impossible thing. I wasn’t anyone. I wasn’t even a Federation citizen. But I made it happen… with help of course. But after some really difficult things happened, I finally got into a place where I could be a good officer, less confrontational. And then this arrogant ass of an Intelligence officer shows up and insinuates that I settled. That it was all a facade. The obedient Lieutenant Calloway.” Faye looked over at Revna and smirked. “He was right. He saw right through me and my shoddy act. I am and always will be the rebel from Tracken Two, who picks her side and is fiercely loyal to it, and woe be to anyone who gets in the way. But I joined Starfleet in part because I wanted some semblance of discipline. I wanted to be accountable to someone other than myself. I wandered alone for so long that I got used to looking out for myself. And long after I had people to be there for me and help, I forgot to let them in a little. I made myself promise after I had a mission go very badly that I would let people in and try and actually live, not just survive.” She spread her hands out. “I think I’m doing a pretty fine job if I do say so myself, even if my life is about ten times more colourful at every turn than I’d prefer,” she said with a laugh.

~Faye Calloway

Revna’s baby sister, Ragna, was just like that. She never had the desire to leave Earth. She was a force of nature, a lightening storm wrapped in a hurricane hiding paradise in the eye of the storm. Revna smiled. “For me, I had all this crew and friends but I was still alone, lonely, for a long time. Then one day the grief just…went into perspective and I knew I was living Shauwn’s life but I had, at some point made a life, if not my own, in the fleet. Then I got injured ‘in the line of duty’,” so much frustration there, “and I felt cheated, it was supposed to be over, but I didn’t die. I simply survived in the shadows, in the darkness. And then my CO sent me to Atlantis and well things changed. My sister, my twin was sent there too, and my oath brother, and then I made really good friends. And well my health went south, and I’ll admit to a pity party. That’s when I met Mike.” Revna’s whole body language changed and she laughed, “He told me he was angry with me and I’d better not give up because I lost our bet and I had to pay up.” She laughed more. “I guess I’m finding myself again. I kind of lost track of it.” Revna walked over with more of the vines and began easing them onto the trellis. “I didn’t mean to ramble so much. You know I firmly believe that we can’t enjoy the good unless we know the bad. Sometimes that’s harder to accept. Are you happy even if it sometimes overwhelming? Because that’s all that matters Faye.”


“Oh, you have no idea!” Faye said fiercely. She was prone to oversharing and it could often create difficulties when she got responses contrary to what she hoped for, but she had learned to curb her tendency… more or less. But this was different. Revna was sharing too. “I have never known this kind of happiness in my entire life. If you ask my mom I was an introspective child whose brain didn’t fit her body and not much changed for a long time. I experienced moments of happiness, but this place I’m in in my life Revna? I’m content. And it was hard won. So I get it, I get your journey. It’s a lot like my own, different of course, but… hard. My first assignment with Intelligence broke my brain, but it was already wired differently.” Faye chewed on her lower lip for a moment. “I have Borderline Personality Disorder. It’s more personality than it is disorder most of the time, but there are times when I just… flounder. I can’t function. But, especially if I let people help me, it passes soon enough and I pick myself up and hope I haven’t created too much of a mess to clean up.”

~Faye Calloway

Revna nodded, she got it, from an outsider point of view. She’d worked with many who had BPD. She had walked with many through that darkness until they learned to make it moments of shadow and a life filled with light and joy, and understand that the moments of shadow were necessary so the light could shine brighter. Revna smiled, “And I bet your Daggum doesn’t even flinch does he? Mike is the same. He seems to just make sure the way is clear and waits for me to figure it out, and if I have trouble getting myself going, it’s a swift smack to the a$$ to get me moving.” Revna laughed, the blush told Faye it was a true confession, but the laughter told her, Revna didn’t care, she was happy.

Faye chuckled. “Yeah, exactly. Dag’s exceptionally patient and I knew it was real between us when he managed my dissociation around him for the first time. He gets it in a way few others have.”

“So I’m guessing you’ve read up on me. So you know what I did in the fleet before joining the Diplomatic Corp? If not I’m going to be upfront because I don’t want you to think I’m being underhanded. I was a trauma counselor so I’m familiar with BPD. I’m sure you have people to help you, and I’m not pushing you to talk to me, but just know if you begin to flounder around me, it’s okay. I promise I won’t freak out.” Revna didn’t know where in her management of her BPD she was, and knew her words could be taken well or ill, but Revna was always honest and open. And since Faye had brought it up she felt Faye deserved to know that Revna wasn’t scared off and why.


Nodding, Calloway stood back and examined the now free peppers and the now contained goinza vine. “I think the difference for me now is that I know that anyone who can’t handle my more mercurial moods isn’t someone I need to have around in my life so much. But I appreciate you being up front, even if I, yes, read up on you,” she said with a grin.

Looking around the garden that had poured her heart and soul into, she was constantly reflective lately. “I’ve learned lately that having more people on team Faye can only be a good thing. I need those cheer leaders even if I told myself for years I could do it on my own.” She shifted her attention back to Revna. “Just know that I appreciate it, even if I don’t always say it and that it’s reciprocal. If you need to commiserate, I’m your gal.”

~Faye Calloway

“It was different for me. I was always used to being the cheer leader. And I had plenty, but I didn’t know how to switch from being the cheer leader to being the cheered for.” Revna glanced around the arboretum it was beautiful, and here at least, she felt some sense of calm. “You don’t need to say it. That’s what I love about home and clan. We are there for you and you are there for us and we all just know that’s how it is, it’s a part of who we are.” She looked back at Faye and finished with the vine she was working with. “I appreciate it. I admit I’m having more trouble adjusting to being on Manhattan than usual. I’m not sure that has anything to do with ship and crew and more to do with how many changes my life has made in the last 6 months…well really the last month.

McKenzie, DA

Faye snorted. “Oh how I hear you! Let’s see, I had a big kerfuffle with my job and orders, had to shoot my three superior officers- including my best friend- as a sneaky way to get to the bad guys, had a pretty solid mental breakdown with crazy highs and lows, was given an award for my actions, started a relationship after conquering some really dark demons, swore off alcohol after not being my best self on it, got to help a species choose to evolve into a higher state of being, got a cat as a service animal, got to finally be the Intelligence officer I am without sneaking around, started the Command Training program, got engaged, got a promotion and now am planning a wedding while I prepare to make even more changes in six months.” Faye forced out a breath. “Wow, that sounds nuts even to my own ears!” she said with a laugh.


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