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Calloway's Quarters- Mentoring in All Forms

Posted July 29, 2021, 1:13 p.m. by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) (James Sinclair)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Counter-Intelligence Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters- Mentoring in All Forms

Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters- Mentoring in All Forms

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Faye Calloway (Counter-Intelligence Officer) in Calloway’s Quarters- Mentoring in All Forms
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

At first her eyes were darting around, unable or not wanting to narrow in on a focus. But they had done this dance in different ways before and the people closest to her knew how to cut through the noise, just like Alex was now. Her eyes slowed and finally Faye drew in a breath, but the rush of air after the panicked near-hyperventilating left her dizzy and her hand flew out to his arm to steady herself.

Slowing the multiple tangents going on in her brain took more effort than she was able to conjure at the moment, but Faye managed to slow things down as she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. A sister. She had a sister! So many questions burst forth in her brain but she quietened them so that she stood a chance of hearing her mother’s explanation.

And then Faye broke into laughter. It was slightly hysterical but as she focused her gaze on Alex, she began to understand the ridiculousness that was her life lately. “I have a sister!” She laughed. “And my uncle Gavin? He has a wife and a daughter.”

Sitting there silently, Shara was trying to gauge Faye’s reaction and for the moment left Alex to deal with the situation.

~Faye & Shara

Alex looked at her for a long moment and then nodded to Shara. “Shocked, but still here. And I am betting through the peals of laughter the bride-to-be is waiting to hear about yet another familial addition.” and he gestured to her to start talking.

Alex

“See, eloping made all that easier,” Shara said with a smirk before she inhaled deeply and gathered her thoughts.

Faye leaned back into frame after picking up Tess and setting the cat in her lap, her hands moving over the soft fur. Tess rose up on her back feet, and placed her front paws on Faye’s shoulder, nuzzling in against her. Some days she wasn’t sure if Tess’ empathic nature was just one way and there were moments like this where she wondered of Tess could project as well. “Okay, so… fill me in,” Faye said quietly.

Nodding, Shara gave her the story she gave Nadine, but was able to add in more because Faye already had context from her life back in. She knew the stories that Shara had told previously. “So, you know how I ran away from home at sixteen?”

Faye nodded. “You and your dad got into a big fight and not for the first time, he hit you. But this time, you got so mad you hit him back. It stunned him, but made him even angrier, and you fled the house. Gavin had been in the room at the time, but you didn’t have time to do or say anything before leaving. And then you left the colony that night. You never went into details but I could tell how terrible that time was for you, so I didn’t ask more.”

“Yeah,” Shara said, forcing her voice to be above a whisper. “When I left… I was pregnant. Not very far along yet, but the guy I was with, Curtis, he was only a little older than me and not ready to be a dad. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, but I knew either way I was on my own through it. When my father hit me, I just knew it would be a terrible place to raise a child and everyone on Midos knew my mom and I couldn’t bear their looks of pity or shame. So I went to a friend of my mother’s and told her that I needed to get off the colony that night. She said she’d keep an eye on Gavin as best she could and helped me out.” Shara paused briefly, trying to keep her emotions together. “I ended up on Alpha Centauri and it was there I had the baby,” she said, struggling to keep her voice even. “For a month I tried, but I had no one there and was just trying to get by. I was a little too proud to go ask complete strangers for help but I also knew by the end of that first month that I wasn’t meant to be her mother. I couldn’t do it, not like that. So, one day I walked into the adoption agency and surrendered her. I signed away my legal rights in a closed adoption which forbade me from ever making contact myself. When she was twenty, she’d be legally allowed to access her adoption file, but it would be up to her, not me, if and when contact was ever made.”

Everything inside her went so very still and she was almost numb. “And today she found you?” Faye said.

“Not quite. Long story short, after confessing this all to him, Micah checked the records to see if she ever made any inquires that hit official channels. And she had. So he went out to Portland to see her, get the gist of the situation. She had been looking for me since she was allowed to, but hit snags after everything went down on Tracken and Voyager.”

Bursts of information coalesced in her brain in an instant. Of course! “And you changed your name!” Faye said, leaning forward. “She would have hit a dead end and it wouldn’t have made sense to check Starfleet, not right away, and then of course they’d have told her sh!t-all, given you joined Intelligence.”

Shara nodded. “Exactly.”

Faye shook her head. “But I don’t get it. I get the closed adoption, but why the secrecy? Why didn’t you just tell dad and I that you had a kid when you were super young and gave her up for adoption. I would have known there was a sister out there but…” Faye shook her head again. It made her angry, Why did she feel so angry? It didn’t make sense to her.

“Fear, probably. It was just so painful, and it was years before I could bear the sound of babies crying or children playing. And then I met your father and everything changed. We got married and I knew with him I could do it right, I could give a child what they needed. And then we had you and everything just felt… right. I didn’t want to mess that up.”

Tess was nudging her head against Faye’s jaw, but she didn’t respond, still trying to wrap her mind around everything. “This is a lot.”

“I know…” Shara said.

“I… I just need some time to process this. We can talk more later, but I need to go right now.” Was she panicking and retreating? Probably just a little, but right now she wouldn’t do any good to their relationship to hash it all here and now.

“Faye…”

From behind Faye. Alex gave Shara a reassuring nod.

Faye shook her head. “No, don’t. I love you, but right now I’m a little more angry than I think I have a right to be. I know all of this was hard for you, but all these years!”She blew out a breath. “I’ll call you later.” She reached out and closed the call but immediately pushed her chair back, trying to get away from the screen. Tess was nudging Faye and looking at Alex as if to say Do something!, but Faye wasn’t aware of everything. “I have the data, but I just don’t know what to do with it it.”

~Faye & Shara

Alex took a breath and said “Now… we process. You want to talk to Zef? Or will I do for now?”

Alex

Moving Tess to the floor, despite the young cat’s insistence that this was not how it was going to be done, Faye got up and began to pace. The movement felt good, helped her stay present. “I don’t know!” She shook her head and planted her hands on her hips, trying to avoid the temptation to throw something. “The math, Alex! The math.” Faye felt the tears before she realized she couldn’t see clearly. “After I left Orion, and was on my own, she was out there, looking for my mom! I could have had someone! But I didn’t know.” Doubling over, she braced her arms on her thighs, the sobs not quite coming out. It was like they were stuck. She was stuck.

~Faye

Alex put an arm around her and said “You didn’t know… she didn’t know… Shara didn’t know. It sucks… it’s hard… but it’s also the past, Faye. And we can’t change the past. But we can make sure the future doesn’t waste time dealing with the past. You say you could have had someone? Well… so could this sister of yours. You already have common ground. But for now? Now be pissed… get mad and cry… let it out so you can process that next line of data…”

“My brain…” Sometimes it was the only thing she could say. Too many tangents. Too many possibilities and at the moment she was having a hard time grasping what that next line even was.

The comms chimed.

Alex

There wasn’t time! It was all coming too fast. Process how? The chime only made the panic worse and made her head foggy. She hated this thing that happened when she was under a lot of stress, hated the way it took over and did whatever it wanted to. It was the thing that no medication could make better. Every day had been a bare-knuckle fight to get herself to a place where she called the shots. But things were still tenuous lately, even if her life was really good right now.

The chime. the damn chime. Couldn’t she just have a minute? Moving over, she glanced at the screen and frowned. No details. Great. With tear stained cheeks, she jabbed the key with her index finger, opening the call and seeing who it was her stomach dropped. Great! Just great.

~Faye

Micah looked at her and smiled a knowing smile. He took a breath and said “Hey. How are you holding up?”

Pikelsimer


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